‘Marie's Sculpture’
Season 6, Episode 5 - Aired October 22, 2001
Everyone is surprised by the sculpture Marie makes in art class.
Quote from Marie
Marie: Raymond, do you see what they see?
Ray: Um... I don't know.
Marie: No, tell me the truth.
Ray: Well... Maybe if I squint a little.
Marie: Oh, my God, I'm a lesbian!
Quote from Marie
Sister Ann: Mrs. Barone, hello. Is that the sculpture you intended to contribute to the church auction?
Marie: Yes.
Sister Ann: Well, don't you think the subject matter is... Might be inappropriate?
Marie: Subject matter? What do you mean?
Sister Ann: Forgive me, but is that not a sculpture of... [whispers to Marie]
Marie: What?! What's wrong with you?
Sister Ann: It's just that it may not be right for the church-
Marie: Are you crazy?!
Quote from Frank
Frank: You know how you can tell it's good art? Because it follows you when you move.
Quote from Frank
[As Frank stares at Marie's sculpture in the empty exhibit hall:]
Janitor: If you ask me, it looks like a... [whispers]
Frank: ... Holy crap!
Quote from Debra
Debra: The Parkers' basement is flooded.
Ray: That's funny. I hate that Parker.
Debra: No, that's not funny, Ray. Their whole house is flooded. That means no play date.
Ray: Oh. So why can't the kids just come over here?
Debra: I don't know, Ray. Do we really want to have all the neighborhood kids come over here and learn about the birds and the gigantic bees?
Ray: I thought it was a sailboat.
Debra: Frank, what are you doing? He's been standing there for an hour. Would you stop staring at that? You're freakin' me out!
Ray: Why? It's just a sailboat.
Debra: That's no sailboat!
Quote from Ray
Ray: Oh, my God! You have to say something!
Debra: Why me?
Ray: Because this is a woman's issue.
Quote from Marie
Marie: Raymond? You're covering my sculpture with a garbage bag?
Ray: Well, uh, well...
Debra: We didn't want it to get dirty. You know how dusty I let this house get.
Marie: I know, dear, but that's all right. I gave it to you to enjoy. A little dust can't hurt it.
Quote from Marie
Ray: Hey... there. So what? You- You made a thing.
Marie: It's not that, Raymond. I'm not a prude. The female body is a beautiful thing-
Ray: Okay, okay. Okay. So what is it? What's bothering you?
Marie: Well, it's supposed to be an abstract. The teacher told us that we could make any kind of a statue we wanted. And so I chose an abstract because I thought it was easy. Turns out I can't even do that.
Ray: Debra thinks it looks like a sailboat.
Marie: There's something wrong with her.
Quote from Ray
Marie: I just tried to do something different find something new, that's all. Something more than just being a short order cook for your father.
Ray: You wanted to find something new about yourself?
Marie: Mm-hmm.
Ray: Well, nobody expected this. Ta-da!
Marie: All right, Raymond.
Ray: No, come on, Ma, you made something here.
Marie: It was an accident.
Ray: Hey, so was penicillin. And Robert.
Quote from Robert
Debra: Well, Marie, your piece was the hit of the show!
Marie: Thank you, dear.
Ray: Congratulations, yeah. You didn't have to dedicate it to me.
Marie: Who else?
Robert: "Who else?"