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‘The Sitter’ Quotes

Everybody Loves Raymond: The Sitter

303. The Sitter

Aired October 5, 1998

After Debra finds the perfect babysitter for the kids, she soon starts to feel replaced.

Quote from Marie

Debra: Thanks again, Marie. I'm just gonna do a little shopping with Ray.
Marie: I'm sorry the situation with the girl didn't work out. She seemed sweet, but children watching children? [shakes head]
Debra: Ally, honey, come on. Okay well, I really appreciate this.
Marie: Please, you know how I love doing this, and I don't want you to think that you even have to apologize.
Debra: I'm sorry, Marie.
Marie: Oh, that is so unnecessary. [hugs Debra] Oh, just knowing that you feel bad is enough for me.

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Quote from Marie

Ray: Where are the children?
Marie: They're in Ally's room. I didn't want them to see me like this.
Debra: Oh, my. Marie, I-- God. I feel terrible.
Robert: [enters] Here we go. I'm here for you, Ma. I told Nemo you were hurt, he threw in some free breadsticks.
Marie: Oh, these seem old.
Frank: You are what you eat.
Marie: Oh. Oh. Robby, give your father his order of miserable bastard.

Quote from Debra

Ray: Hey, Teletubby. Oh, what happened here? What happened?
Debra: Nothing happened, okay? Today happened. I didn't get any cleaning done because of this nightmare I had at the supermarket. I mean, I'm there with the kids and they're just taking stuff off the shelves. They're opening and eating things and sticking it back anywhere. And then they pulled down the salsa display, you know, and they're swimming in it. Do you know how embarrassing that is to hear over the P.A., "Uh, Mrs. Barone, would you please remove your children from Ethnic Foods?"
Ray: Huh. So we have salsa?
Debra: We have nothing, Ray. I had to leave in shame.
Ray: So, did you go to the bank?
Debra: I did not get to the bank, Ray, no, because the kids were a little too picante, you know.

Quote from Marie

Marie: You hired a babysitter.
Debra: Well, you know, to tell you the truth, she's-- she's really good with young kids, 'cause she's an early education major, and l-l just thought she'd give us a little more flexibility. You know, of course, Marie, we would call you first, but we just-- we didn't want keep taking advantage of the fact that you live across the street, because-- I mean that's not really fair to you, right? Because you have things to do. I mean, you have a life.
Marie: I think that's very considerate. I appreciate you thinking about me. Thank you.
Debra: Yeah, sure, great, because, you know-- Oh, you're welcome. Because, you know, we didn't want you to think that we--
Robert: [enters] Hey, Mom, the cutlets smell great. I turned the heat down for you.
Marie: Don't tell me how to cook. I know how to cook! I'm not that old! And who are you to turn down my meat? [exits]
Robert: Oh my God, I covered her mashed potatoes! [runs after Marie]

Quote from Ray

Ray: Come on. She's a great babysitter. It's what we always dreamed of. Come on. Look, because of her, you've got nail polish on. Don't you love that? I love it. Look at the little piggies and wee-wee-wee-wee-wee.
Debra: Stop it! No, you don't care about nail polish.
Ray: I know, but- You wanna go back to the way it was with the kids covered in salsa and you wanting me to help? That's- I mean, that's- That's no kind of life.
Debra: Yeah, but-- Ray, look, they are only young once. This is our only chance to enjoy this age.
Ray: Well, what about my age? When do we get to enjoy my age?

Quote from Frank

Frank: Jeezaloo, it's about time.
Ray: Ma!
Debra: Oh, Marie, what happened?
Marie: We were doing that crazy game that the girl taught the kids and someone had allowed toys to be in the middle of the floor, and I tripped.
Debra: Oh my God, what can I do?
Frank: Do you have a lawyer?
Ray: You're gonna sue us, Dad?
Frank: Not you, your insurance company. We split it.

Quote from Ray

Debra: You know, it's just impossible to get things done when I'm with them.
Ray: You know what you need? You need some real help around here. [Debra looks at Ray] Keeping in mind, I have a very busy schedule.
Debra: Oh yeah, that's right. Gee, isn't it time for your 9:00 butt scratch?
Ray: That's okay, I don't do that anymore. I'm on the patch.

Quote from Ray

Ray: Hey, you know since Lisa has things covered, maybe we could go out and get something to eat.
Debra: Oh, well, I think we probably should let Lisa go.
Lisa: Oh, I can stay if you want. It's no problem.
Debra: Let's get out of here!
Ray: Really? What should- I should get- Where's our passports?

Quote from Debra

Ally: We want Lisa to stay.
Debra: Yeah, but I'm gonna make you dinner.
Ally: We're not hungry.
Debra: I'm gonna make you fish sticks, then we're gonna take a bath and then Mommy is gonna read you stories, so come on.
Ally: We don't want you. We want Lisa! We want Lisa!
Debra: I've got cookies.

Quote from Ray

Debra: You know, I don't think I'm gonna have Lisa sit for us anymore.
Ray: What? No! Listen, I never think of her, ever.
Debra: Uck. No, idiot. God! No, I was just thinking- I don't know, leaving the kids with a sitter so much it just, it feels wrong.
Ray: Wrong? What? It gives us more time to love each other. And if loving you is wrong... Baby, I don't want to be right.

Quote from Ray

Debra: All right, okay. If we have to leave the kids with somebody, then you know, maybe it should be your mom. Because after all, she is family. Think of how your mom must feel with this. She comes over here and she sees Geoffrey and Michael and Ally playing with some stranger and they're having so much more fun with her than they ever had with her.
Ray: Okay, okay, we'll get my mom then. Look, the bottom line is quality time, that's all. And by quality time, of course, I mean [sings] Loving you Is easy 'cause you're beautiful And every day that we-- Ooh I'm more in love with you.
Debra: Okay, thank you.
Ray: La-la-la-la-la & & La-la-la-la-la.

Quote from Debra

Debra: No, Ray, it's my fault.
Ray: No, no, it isn't.
Debra: Yes it is, 'cause I set her up. I just couldn't stand how much the kids wanted to be with Lisa. So I got your mom to babysit, so it... wouldn't go as well.
Ray: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You told a perfectly nice girl not to come because you thought the kids liked her too much?
Debra: Mm-hmm.
Ray: And then you brought in Old Yeller to make yourself feel better?
Debra: Yes. I'm terrible. I'm this evil person.
Ray: I love this. And then the toys, the booby-trap with the toys-
Debra: I didn't do that!
Ray: Yet you know what the beautiful thing is here? Whenever I do something connivy like this, you always look at me like, "How could you do that?" When what you're really thinking is, "How do you do that?" Oh! I'm proud of you.

Quote from Ray

Ray: Would you stop that! Will you come on? You don't have to compete with some babysitter. You're Mommy, huh? The kids love Mommy. Every time I want to do something with them, they always yell, "We'd rather have Mommy!"
Debra: Oh, yeah right, they yell that.
Ray: Yes! Yes! "We prefer Mommy!" "All things being equal, where's Mommy?"
Debra: [chuckles] Shut up.
Ray: Come on, you're- You're number one. You're better than any babysitter, and you, you deserve some free time. Quality time. [sings] La-la-la-la-la.

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