Scrubs Quotes

Scrubs

Scrubs

Scrubs follows a group of medical students, J.D., Elliot and Turk, as they begin work at Sacred Heart teaching hospital.

Starring: Zach Braff, Sarah Chalke, Donald Faison, Neil Flynn, Ken Jenkins, John C. McGinley, Judy Reyes.
Original Run: 2001-2010.

Quote of the Day

Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Quote from Dr. Cox in My Fifteen Minutes

Dr. Cox: I would like to make special mention of one intern here, John Dorian. Smart kid, extremely competent, and his enthusiasm and his determination to always be better is something I see in him 24 hours a day. He cares. Probably cares too much. But he's definitely somebody you don't want to lose. Now, if you have any questions, well I could give a crap, I'm goin' home. You all get paid too much for doing nothing.

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Quote from Turk in My Advice to You

J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!

Quote from Janitor in My First Day

Janitor: The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
J.D.: Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.

Quote from Dr. Cox in My Student

J.D.: [v.o.] It's hard trying to figure out how to reach somebody. I guess the thing I can do is to think of someone I look up to, and remember how they got through to me.
Dr. Cox: Newbie, the only way you could be less productive right now is if you were in fact the wall on which you're leaning. Of course, then you'd be providing some jackass with a wall on which to lean against and reflect on what a jackass he truly is. I know. Here it's a conundrum.

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Quote from Janitor in My Long Goodbye

Janitor: I probably should have should have said this to you before, but you always impressed me. Your compassion, your faith. And you didn't get mad at me when I insisted that I should be the lifeguard at your above-ground pool party, even after I made it painfully obvious that I'm not a strong swimmer. If you see your dog up there, please tell him I'm sorry.
Carla: What are you doing?
Janitor: I wanted to share a few words before she passes through the golden doors of Valhalla.
Carla: What now?
Janitor: I converted to the Norse religion a few years ago. It just made sense.

Quote from Dr. Kelso in My Comedy Show

Dr. Kelso: Donny, muffin, please? [catches muffin] Not bran. [catches another] Better. What do you want?
Janitor: I'm getting ready to torture nurse chest whiskers. But it's her word against mine, so I need you to verify yesterday's incident.
Dr. Kelso: What incident? I wasn't even here yesterday.
Janitor: You were there.
Dr. Kelso: Excuse me. [into his muffin] What? Shh. [whispers] He's standing right here.
Janitor: [whispers] Me?
Dr. Kelso: [normal voice] Okay, I'll tell him. My muffin thinks you're crazy, and she wants you to go.
Janitor: [normal voice] You tell your muffin that I think she's crazy. Maybe she should go.
Dr. Kelso: No.
Janitor: What is happening to me? [exits]
Carla: [to Dr. Kelso] Nice job.

Quote from J.D. in His Story

Jenny: Here you go, fellas.
Both: Thank you, Jenny.
Jenny: You're welcome.
J.D.: Yo, check out these fries. That girl is so into me.
Turk: Please, she's totally crushing on the brother.
J.D.: Why, because you're black?
Turk: Let's get one thing straight. This has nothing to do with me being black. This has something to do with me being smoother. [taps ketchup out onto his face]
Jenny: Oh, here's a towel. And here are your shakes.
J.D.: Thank you, Jenny. Hey, wait, Jenny. What flavor do you usually go for? Do you like chocolate or vanilla?
Jenny: I'm a vanilla girl. I'll go get you some more towels.
Turk: Go ahead and say it.
J.D.: [singing] She got jungle fever She got jungle fever