Scrubs Quotes



Scrubs follows a group of medical students, J.D., Elliot and Turk, as they begin work at Sacred Heart teaching hospital.

Starring: Zach Braff, Sarah Chalke, Donald Faison, Neil Flynn, Ken Jenkins, John C. McGinley, Judy Reyes.
Original Run: 2001-2010.

Quote of the Day

Wednesday, January 20, 2021

Quote from Dr. Kelso in My Rule of Thumb

Dr. Kelso: See, this is why you shouldn't get emotionally invested in your patients.
Dr. Cox: Hey, Bobbo, now when the dark prince does finally call you home, please promise me that you'll donate your body to science. And I don't mean medical science, I mean NASA. Because when those buzz-cuts have all but given up on trying to figure out just exactly what a black hole is, and they get one look at that space where your heart was supposed to be, well, by gum, you know they're just gonna say: "Awwww, shucks! "That's what it is!"
Dr. Kelso: Hey, champ! What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso. How ya doin'?


Popular Quotes

Quote from Turk in My Advice to You

J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!

Quote from Janitor in My First Day

Janitor: The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
J.D.: Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.

Quote from Dr. Cox in My Student

J.D.: [v.o.] It's hard trying to figure out how to reach somebody. I guess the thing I can do is to think of someone I look up to, and remember how they got through to me.
Dr. Cox: Newbie, the only way you could be less productive right now is if you were in fact the wall on which you're leaning. Of course, then you'd be providing some jackass with a wall on which to lean against and reflect on what a jackass he truly is. I know. Here it's a conundrum.

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Quote from Dr. Cox in My Mirror Image

Dr. Cox: You love spaghetti. You had some just last night, didn't ya?
Jack: No, I didn't!
Dr. Cox: Jordan, the boy is lying to me.
Jordan: Oh, Perry, nobody likes a tattle-tail!
Jack: Nobody does, Perry! [throws his spaghetti at his father]
[later that night, Dr. Cox tucks Jack into bed:]
Dr. Cox: All right, champ. Just in case you get hungry later on. [drops spaghetti on Jack's face]

Quote from Dr. Cox in My Blind Date

Dr. Cox: Ah, dammit! Dammit. Dammit. So close. Dammit! [sighs] I'm sorry. I'll be fine. [sighs] Perfect game. Call it.
Elliot: There's five minutes left. It's just the two of us here. Can't we just wait?
Dr. Cox: Just call it.
Elliot: No. We all need this. So, no, I won't call it.
Dr. Cox: You know, that's probably the dumbest thing anybody's said to me around here in a long time. There's nothing wrong with a one-hitter, there, Barbie. In fact, it's miraculous. And I won't have you, of all people, cheapen what should be an endless pursuit of perfection just because you want the world to laugh with you tonight. Now call it.
Elliot: Time of death, 11.55.
Dr. Cox: Good girl. Better go get yourself a cup of coffee. New game starts in four minutes.

Quote from Dr. Cox in My Lunch

Man: Excuse me? Could you spare a few minutes for AIDS Research?
Dr. Cox: Yes, I can, but I'm not sure just how much we'll get done. I'll tell you what. We'll go over here and brainstorm while we wolf down these sandwiches. Newbie, come.
J.D.: [v.o.] Vintage Cox.