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37Quotes from ‘My Lunch’

Scrubs: My Lunch

520. My Lunch

Aired April 25, 2006

As the doctors try to keep three patients in need of organ transplants going, Dr. Cox and J.D. run into their annoying former patient, Jill Tracy (Nicole Sullivan), at a supermarket. Meanwhile, Carla and Elliot try to help the Todd come to terms with his sexuality, so he'll be less creepy towards women.

Quote from Dr. Cox

J.D.: You know what I was thinking the whole time I was having lunch with Jill?
Dr. Cox: What's that?
J.D.: God, this girl's annoying.
Dr. Cox: I saw her in that supermarket, too, but I'm not torturing myself. Would you like to know why?
J.D.: Why?
Dr. Cox: Because she didn't come to the hospital looking for help. We just randomly bumped into her out here in the world. I mean, don't get me wrong. If a guy gets shot or if he has a heart attack and I am physically the closest doctor to him, I will intervene. Shy of that, you can't. I mean, you just can't. It's too much to ask yourself.
J.D.: OK. I hear you.
Dr. Cox: No. You don't. Once you start blaming yourself for deaths that aren't your fault, my friend, that's a slippery slope you can't come back from. I've seen it ruin a lot of good doctors, and I will not let it happen to you.
J.D.: [v.o.] And because he said that, I knew it wouldn't.

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Quote from Dr. Cox

J.D.: [v.o.] Most stress with so many people clinging to life. Dr. Cox vibed on it.
Dr. Cox: As I lie in bed each morning and ask myself why I should put both my feet on the floor, there are precious few reasons that I've ever been able to come up with. The chance to escape Jordan's morning breath, sure. Scotch. It's too early to drink it, yes, but, people, it is never too early to think about. And, of course, the ever-present possibility that I might finally happen upon Hugh Jackman and be able to give him the present I've been holding for him. Bam! Still, the most persuasive argument I've ever been able to come up with is the fact that I get to come to this hospital every day and help keep people alive.
Turk: That's ironic because four people just died while you were talking.

Quote from Dr. Kelso

Dr. Cox: [whispers] This was not a complete and total solo effort. It was an extraordinary job done by each and every one of you.
Dr. Kelso: I can't hear a word he's saying.
Dr. Cox: Be older, Bob.
Dr. Kelso: Just because I can't hear your silly-ass whispering doesn't mean I'm old. As a matter of fact, I'm going to go over to my office and tinker with my new computer.
Turk: Ooh, what kind is it?
Dr. Kelso: It's about 3:30. [laughs] I heard what he said, people, but damn, that joke's a classic.

Quote from Dr. Cox

Man: Excuse me? Could you spare a few minutes for AIDS Research?
Dr. Cox: Yes, I can, but I'm not sure just how much we'll get done. I'll tell you what. We'll go over here and brainstorm while we wolf down these sandwiches. Newbie, come.
J.D.: [v.o.] Vintage Cox.

Quote from Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox: All right, people, gather around. Here we go. Now, I'm sure we all recognize just how rare it is to get a win like this. But seen as we are surrounded by patients who are clinging to life, I'm going to give kudos in whisper form. [whispers] Since I'm an egomaniac, first props come to me. Let me hear it, people.
Turk: [whispers] You are some kind of super hero.
Carla: [whispers] You're a god.
Elliot: [whispers] You're a beautiful healer.

Quote from J.D.

J.D.: [v.o.] We did all we could over the next few days to keep the transplant patients going, but odds were against us. First we lost Mrs. Sykes. And then Mr. Dennison. And I knew that Dr. Cox needed me the exact same way that I needed him earlier.
J.D.: Hey. Hungry?
Dr. Cox: No.
J.D.: I guess our lunch was kind of a one time thing, huh? There's no way you could have seen that coming. I mean, rabies? Come on. There's like three reported cases a year. In fact, testing for it would've been irresponsible. You would've wasted time those people didn't have.
Dr. Cox: I was obsessed with getting those organs.
J.D.: You had to be. The fact is that those people were gonna die in a number of hours and you had to make a call. I would've made the same call.
Dr. Cox: Yeah?
J.D.: Yes. And I got us lunch, and I think we should eat it.
J.D.: [v.o.] Right then, I knew I was gonna pull him out of this. But unfortunately sometimes the hospital picks a day where it's just gonna pile it on.
Dr. Cox: [both pagers beeping] Oh, God. Come on.

Quote from J.D.

J.D.: [v.o.] It was time for my new daily ritual: Asking Dr. Cox to lunch.
J.D.: Hey, Dr. Cox, what are you doing for lunch?
Dr. Cox: Not having it with you, Paula.
J.D.: Oh. Good luck eating. This is every spoon from the cafeteria. And guess what? Today just happens to be soup and frozen yogurt day.
Elliot: Ooh, I'm gonna have tomato and strawberry.
Dr. Cox: Lunch for us? Not going to happen. Normally, I'd say something harsh right now like, "We're not friends," but you'll just grin that stupid grin and shake your head back and forth, like, "How could that possibly be true?"
J.D.: Because it's ludicrous.
Dr. Cox: Ah, just give me a spoon, will you please? Oh, for goodness sake.
J.D.: You've called my bluff. And today isn't soup and yogurt day. It's actually salad and smoothie day.
Elliot: I'm still having tomato and strawberry.

Quote from Todd

Carla: I'm having a weird pregnancy craving. Hey, J.D., if you go out, would you get me a hot Italian sausage?
Todd: I got a hot Italian sausage for you right here. People think I just luck into these situations, but it's really a lot of hard work. You know what else is hard? I should go.
J.D.: I think I may vomit.

Quote from J.D.

J.D.: [v.o.] Some doctors like to change into their streets when they go out for lunch. Not me. I like how the world reacts to me as a doctor. Whether it's a friendly greeting from the world's slowest bagger.
Old Man: Hey there, Dr. Dorian.
J.D.: Lookin' good, pal. Eggs on top. All right? Eggs on top.
J.D.: [v.o.] Or a smile from the manager of the herbal section.
J.D.: Hey, Rebecca. You got that Echinacea for me? Just kidding. You know, I think all this stuff is voodoo. Good to see you. Hey! Looks like somebody else is sick of that cafeteria stuff, huh?
Dr. Cox: Oh, no. What the hell? Did you follow me here?
J.D.: A friend dropped me off.
[flashback to J.D. hanging on to the top of Dr. Cox's car:]
J.D.: Eagle!

Quote from Jill Tracy

Jill Tracy: Oh, my God, what are you doing here? I was supposed to meet a guy for a date. I know what you're thinking. A Tuesday lunch date at the supermarket, he is so not into her. Well, guess what? He's not. [all laugh] I've been waiting for, like, an hour just thinking how many more guys from my yoga class can totally reject me without me saying, "Enough!" You know? Yogurt pretzels? Yum. These are addictive. I'm going to have one anyway. So, you guys wanna grab some lunch?
J.D.: Oh, we have to get back to the hospital.
Jill Tracy: Bummer. Trail mix? [growling sound] I won't. I'll have some. I'll have some.

Quote from Dr. Cox

J.D.: [v.o.] Today was a busy day at Sacred Heart. We had three separate patients waiting for transplants. And we were doing everything we could to keep them alive while we could locate donors. There was Mrs. Sykes, who needed a new liver. There was Mr. Dennison, who needed a new heart valve. And then there was Dr. Cox's guy, Dave Bradford.
Dr. Cox: So now, Davey Boy, I promise you, we're gonna find you a kidney. I would literally swear on my father's grave, but whenever I go there I usually just end up dancing on it.
Mr. Bradford: And so begins another round of "Who Had the Worse Dad?" One of pop's nicknames for me was Sparky because he liked to light matches off my neck.
Dr. Cox: We've been over this before. You win on account of your father's not dead yet.

Quote from Jill Tracy

Jill Tracy: How weird is it that we're both here two days in a row? I was thinking that there was, like, a 15% chance that the guy who blew me off yesterday just got his days wrong and would be waiting here with roses. Is that sad?
J.D.: It's not, not sad.
Jill Tracy: Plus, I had the whole day free. My shrink couldn't make our appointment. He found his third wife in bed with his second wife and downed an entire bottle of his bulimic daughter's Prozac. So now he's back in the hospital.
J.D.: That's an awesome story, Jill.
Jill Tracy: It's true.

Quote from Todd

Elliot: Hey. What did you do last night?
Carla: Turk made me watch Anaconda with him.
Elliot: Ooh, is that the one with the giant snake?
Todd: No. This is the one with the giant snake. I was back here for 45 minutes waiting for a set-up. My back is killing me. But I nailed it. It's about commitment.


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