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‘My Butterfly’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Scrubs: My Butterfly

316. My Butterfly

Aired March 16, 2004

The smallest things, even the flap of a butterfly's wings, can affect everything at the hospital. Turk needs Carla to get his lucky do-rag; Elliot promises a young patient she'll find her stuffed animal; and J.D. and Dr. Cox try to diagnose a patient with nausea and stomach pains.

Quote from J.D.

J.D.: [v.o.] Come on you can do this. Navy scrubs! Navy scrubs! Navy scrubs!
J.D.: [whistles] Here's the deal, Eleanor. We're gonna go ahead and get a full work-up on this guy. So, while I drop an NG tube and do a gastric lavage, why don't you go ahead and get an order on EKG with cardio biomarkers. If you need to know where those are, they're on page 37 of the Ann Taylor catalog. Right next to that salmon cable-knit sweater you've wanted for so long but haven't had the courage to order 'cause you're worried the weave's so thin, your nipples might just go ahead and peek their little pink selves through. Isn't that right, Dr. Cox? Dr. Cox.
Dr. Cox: Oh, I'm sorry. Here I was in my own little world, talking to myself and dreaming about candy bracelets.
J.D.: I don't like candy bracelets.
J.D.: [v.o.] I love them! Now you gotta grab that elevator. But not without giving him his patented shoulder bump.
J.D.: Good day. [bumps into Dr. Cox, falls over] Ow! How you like me now?

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Quote from J.D.

Turk: Look, the 'do-rag still has the juice, okay? I mean, can you imagine what could happen without it?
[fantasy: Turk and Dr. Wen are in surgery:]
Turk: I can't find any kind of obstruction.
Dr. Wen: Keep looking. It must be there.
[Randall pops out of the patient's cavity and punches Turk in the nuts]
Turk: I felt it!
[reality:]
J.D.: Powerful, tiny fists.
Turk: Hmph.
J.D.: He's back.

Quote from Turk

Dr. Kelso: Nurse Espinosa, your shift ended nine minutes ago. How is it that your time card isn't punched out?
Carla: Well, sir, I-
Turk: Dr. Kelso, how is it that you had an ambulance take you to your dinner reservation last night just so you wouldn't lose it?
Dr. Kelso: How do you know that?
Turk: Because I'm the "homeboy" you screamed at to get my "ghetto-mobile" off the road.
Dr. Kelso: [sighs, walks away]

Quote from Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox: Look, Carol, I know you think you look dashing in your navy blue scrubs, but I can't deal with the fact that I walk into the front door of this place and I find you standing there talking at me.
J.D.: All I said was "good morning".
Dr. Cox: Exactly! And who in God's name wants to hear that every day?! "Good morning." In the immortal words of Daffy Duck: I demand that you shoot me now. If only.

Quote from Turk

J.D.: [v.o.] I couldn't help but think two things. First, I do look stunning in these navy scrubs. I mean, come on, who wants a taste? Second, everyone's day begins differently around here. The surgeons for instance are the most superstitious bunch. So they always start their mornings with an oddly homo-erotic ass slap.
Turk: Dude, too deep!
J.D.: [v.o.] And then their own personal good luck rituals.
Turk: Oh, where's my lucky Tabasco 'do-rag!?
J.D.: Why don't you just use Power Rangers?
Turk: How are Power Rangers as lucky as Tabasco?
J.D.: You remember when communications with Zordon went down and the Megazord was destroyed?
Turk: How did I miss that episode? Oh, that's right, I was making love to a woman.
J.D.: Power Rangers, ho!

Quote from Nurse Roberts

[J.D. bumps into Nurse Roberts, knocking the smoothies she was carrying to the ground]
Janitor: Okay, who do I kill?
J.D.: [whispers] She did it!
Janitor: Man, I don't wanna clean this up!
Nurse Roberts: Well, then, I think you picked the wrong day to be the janitor.

Quote from J.D.

J.D.: [v.o.] And insignificant events can lead to significant events. Like me being on time and Dr. Cox being late for a change.
Dr. Kelso: Where the hell is Dr. Cox? His shift started four minutes ago!
J.D.: [v.o.] Uh-oh. You've gotta cover for him.
[fantasy: As J.D. starts playing the banjo, Dr. Kelso dances]
J.D.: Have to learn to play the banjo.
Dr. Kelso: Dammit, son, are you listening to me?
J.D.: Yes, sir!
J.D.: [v.o.] And buy a banjo.

Quote from J.D.

J.D.: Uh, Dr. Kelso? That's my pen.
Dr. Cox: Nice grab.
J.D.: Well, I'm a lefty.
Dr. Cox: You know, my head's probably going to melt when I say this but Kelso's idea wasn't half bad. Letting you run this place for a day would be a great educational experience. And, come on, let's face facts. The training bra's got to come off eventually. So, it's your show, Debbie. Is this moment just the way you always pictured it?
[fantasy: J.D. playing with Dr. Cox and J.D. action figures:]
J.D.: [as Cox] It's your show, Debbie. Is this moment just like you always pictured? [J.D.'s head falls off] Stupid homemade dolls.
[reality:]
J.D.: It's a little bigger.

Quote from Dr. Cox

J.D.: [v.o.] In the end, it's the "what ifs" that hurt the most. Like, what if things had gone a little differently?
Dr. Cox: Look it, it's just that aortic dissections are a doctor's worst nightmare. If you don't catch 'em early, there's about a ninety percent mortality rate. I mean, honestly, unless your patient was lucky enough to trip and fall into a CAT-scan machine, he wasn't gonna have a happy ending. Newbie, we didn't have a chance on this one.

Quote from J.D.

J.D.: [v.o.] And insignificant events can lead to significant events. Like me being late because I was in the world's longest handshake.
J.D.: Sorry I'm late. What'd I miss?
Dr. Cox: Take a wild guess.
[fantasy: Dr. Cox plays the banjo as Dr. Kelso plays the washboard]
J.D.: [v.o.] I should get Turk a washboard!

Quote from Janitor

Elliot: Janitor? Thanks again for your help, but I know that you're busy. I mean, I could just call Carla, and-
Janitor: No! Mark my words: We will find that little girl's stuffed animal.
Elliot: You are really taking a personal interest in this!
[flashback to the Janitor as a young boy:]
Young Janitor: Mommy, where's my teddy bear?
Janitor's Mom: Oh, I must have accidentally thrown it out when I was cleaning up. You know, this never would have happened if your room weren't so filthy.
Young Janitor: [holding broom] Never again.
[present:]
Janitor: [holding broom] Never again.

Quote from J.D.

J.D.: [v.o.] Of course, it still doesn't always work out the way you'd hope. [monitor flatlines]
Dr. Wen: Rachel, clean up.
J.D.: [v.o.] In the end, you learn to treasure the times when things go your way. And be there for the ones you love when they don't. And most importantly, you learn to accept that some things are out of your hands.
Dr. Cox: Didn't matter when we caught it, Newbie. It was just his time.
J.D.: Yeah.
J.D.: [v.o.] But still, with so much of life left up to chance, you can't help but look back and wonder... What if things had been different?

Quote from Todd

Elliot: [on the phone to Carla] I can't find that girl's little pink doggie anywhere.
Todd: I got a pink doggie for you. But it is not little.
Elliot: Okay, if you show me your penis, I'm gonna take it away from you.
Todd: Cool.
Elliot: [on the phone] Yeah, that was Todd.

Quote from Elliot

Dr. Kelso: [v.o.] All you can really hope is that nothing bites you on the ass.
Elliot: Gaby, you all set for your bone marrow transplant today?
Gaby: I'm scared. I wanted to bring my stuffed pink doggie with me, but Mean Nurse says I can't.
Elliot: Well, I promise you you'll have it. Honestly, Mean Nurse, why would you say that
Carla: Because she lost her stuffed pink doggie two days ago.
Elliot: Frick!

Quote from J.D.

Turk: Since I been wearing that Tabasco 'do-rag, my surgery record's like 23 and 0.
J.D.: Are you counting the boil you lanced yesterday?
Turk: Question: Did he die? Answer: No, he did not.

Quote from Todd

Turk: The point is, I gotta stick with whatever's hot. Like last month, it was not wearing any underwear.
J.D.: So why don't you just take off your underwear?
Todd: That's what I keep telling him!
J.D.: Todd knows about the underwear thing?
Turk: No.
Todd: Oh, yeah.

Quote from Turk

J.D.: [v.o.] Some people say everything comes down to luck.
Turk: I need my lucky 'do-rag.
J.D.: [v.o.] What I believe is that the most minor event - even a butterfly flapping its wings - can affect everything.
Turk: Hillside landing.
J.D.: Because once that seemingly insignificant event happens...
Carla: What is wrong with you!?
Turk: Baby, I wasn't looking at her lovelies. Okay? I was looking at the butterfly that just happened to land on her lovelies. And who could blame it? There they are, all snuggly and safe and whatnot.
J.D.: It sets everything else in motion.

Quote from Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox: Hey, fellas. What'd I miss?
J.D.: [v.o.] And here he is!
Dr. Cox: Goodness gracious. Suddenly I'm getting the most intense headache. Let me see if this relieves the pain. [Dr. Cox uses J.D. as a human shield between him and Dr. Kelso] Better. Worse. Better. Worse. I could do this all day!
Dr. Kelso: You know, Perry, since Dr. Dorian was on time and you were busy in the break room coming up with that hilarious "better-worse" bit, maybe you should answer to him all day.

Quote from Carla

Carla: Turk, I just got off of a 12-hour shift. I'm starving and I have yet to take a single bathroom break - which, by the way, is why I'm dancing a little - and you want me to run home, search through your nasties, and bring back your lucky 'do-rag?
Turk: And if you could be back in twenty minutes that'd be great.

Quote from J.D.

Mr. Strauss: Basically, I've had nausea and stomach pains for a couple of days now.
J.D.: Mr. Strauss, I don't wanna tell you how to live your life, but maybe you should avoid eating sushi from the Gas 'n' Go.
Mr. Strauss: It came free with the fill-up! What am I supposed to do, just throw it away?
Dr. Cox: Yes. Yes, you are. Fortunately, though, your vitals are normal, so we'll check back with you in a little while.

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