Scrubs Quote of the Day

Wednesday, January 20, 2021

Quote from Dr. Kelso in My Rule of Thumb

Dr. Kelso: See, this is why you shouldn't get emotionally invested in your patients.
Dr. Cox: Hey, Bobbo, now when the dark prince does finally call you home, please promise me that you'll donate your body to science. And I don't mean medical science, I mean NASA. Because when those buzz-cuts have all but given up on trying to figure out just exactly what a black hole is, and they get one look at that space where your heart was supposed to be, well, by gum, you know they're just gonna say: "Awwww, shucks! "That's what it is!"
Dr. Kelso: Hey, champ! What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso. How ya doin'?


Recent Quotes

Tuesday, January 19, 2021

Quote from Turk in My Occurrence

Elliot: So it turns out she wasn't pregnant after all. Some idiot had mislabeled her sample.
Turk: I was a heartbeat away from giving an appendix patient a crotch lobotomy. If I do my best and I lose a patient, you know what, I can live with that. But if a clerical error is the reason a guy's walking around here with only the lonely, damn, that don't sit well with the big dog.

Monday, January 18, 2021

Quote from Dr. Cox in My Hero

J.D.: Look, Dr. Cox, I've been doing a lot of thinking, and honestly I think the only reason you're not down at that hospital right now is that you're afraid.
Dr. Cox: I think you're right. I do. That's partly because you've really gotten to know me this year, but mostly it's because, well... I told you that I was afraid earlier, so please don't tell me you've come here to reiterate to me things I've already said, because I know the things that I've already said. In fact, I'm the one who said them.

Sunday, January 17, 2021

Quote from Elliot in My Quarantine

Elliot: J.D., seeing a young doctor do his job is an amazing turn-on for a girl. My dad's a doctor, and I remember how excited I was the first time I saw him work at the hospital. I mean, I didn't want to sleep with him, but there were definitely some complicated feelings. But that's totally normal for an 11-year-old, right? Anyway, yeah... I forget.

Saturday, January 16, 2021

Quote from Turk in My Life in Four Cameras

Carla: Hey, we're missing Sanford and Son.
Turk: What?
Carla: Yes.
J.D.: [v.o.] Turk was freaked out because Carla never joins us on Sanford and Son night or Cheers night. I think it was because she was feeling a little romantically competitive with Kylie and me.
[After Kylie hugs J.D., Carla starts licking Turk's head]
Turk: Woman! Woman, I am not a lollipop! [sings to Sanford and Son theme] Quiet down now, It is time to watch the show, Yes, it started, Don't be lickin' me no mo', Matter of fact, Could you get me a handiwipe?

Friday, January 15, 2021

Quote from Janitor in His Story IV

J.D.: Come on, no one wants to debate Iraq with me?
Janitor: I'll debate Iraq with you.
J.D.: Prepare to be dazzled.
Janitor: Okay, in my opinion we should be looking for Bin Laden in Pakistan.
J.D.: Do you have that globe nearby?

Thursday, January 14, 2021

Quote from Denise in My Absence

Dr. Kelso: So just call him already. You know you want to.
Elliot: No. I don't want to end up being an old lady who's so dependent on her partner that she just croaks right after he does.
Denise: I wish I was emotionally healthy enough to love someone so much that I died after they did. I was with that dude last night. The only way I'm going to die after him Is if he had a heart attack while he was on top of me. Crap, I just turned myself on. Rudy! Upstairs.
Dr. Kelso: God help me, I like that crazy bitch.

Upcoming Quotes

Thursday, January 21, 2021

A quote from Jordan in the episode My Lucky Charm.

Friday, January 22, 2021

A quote from Dr. Cox in the episode My Life in Four Cameras.

Saturday, January 23, 2021

A quote from Dr. Cox in the episode My New Old Friend.

Sunday, January 24, 2021

A quote from Dr. Kelso in the episode Her Story.

Monday, January 25, 2021

A quote from J.D. in the episode My Way Home.