Scrubs Quote of the Day
Tuesday, May 11, 2021
Dr. Cox: Don't look her in the eyes, Newbie. She'll steal your soul. So, how are things down in the underworld?
Jordan: Good. And you? Still have a rollicking social life?
Dr. Cox: Since I cut you loose it's been one big party.
Jordan: In the next five seconds, name some place, other than the hospital and your apartment, you've been in the last month. Five, four, three, two...
Dr. Cox: My car! On the way to the big party.
Jordan: Ooh, that must have hurt.
Monday, May 10, 2021
Mr. Wolmer: There, I gave you 5 stars.
Dr. Cox: Thank you! And now I have to take your laptop from you, as I've deemed you're just too darn stupid to use it. You see those bell peppers that you're munching? They aren't gonna do a truck load of jack against the cancer raging inside of your body. Of course, I've only been a doctor for some 20 years, and the person who wrote that Wikipedia entry also authored the Battlestar Galactica episode guide, so what the heck do I know? But, if you feel like living, page me.
Sunday, May 9, 2021
Elliot: What is going up with Turk? He doesn't even seem bummed out.
J.D.: I uplifted his spirits.
Elliot: How did you do that? Because Carla is just bottoming out, man. I mean, I'm not even supposed to be here at work today. I just came to use bathroom because she keeps violating the rule.
J.D.: Quiet on the crapper?
Elliot: Yeah. It's like she just stores everything up until my cheeks hit the seat. She thinks she's exempted from the rule. Nobody is exempted from the rule, J.D.
J.D.: Okay, it's okay. I'll never talk to you on the crapper.
Elliot: I can't afford to soundproof my bathroom.
Saturday, May 8, 2021
J.D.: Reunion time. This is gonna be great.
Murray: [clears throat]
Mr. Marks: Murray?
Murray: Before you say anything, I just want you to know if you need a kidney, you can have mine.
Murray: For seventy thousand dollars! [smiles to J.D.]
Dr. Cox: I love this moment so much I want to have sex with it.
Friday, May 7, 2021
Elliot: As a woman, have you ever noticed how self-esteem issues just creep up on you?
Carla: I have sausage fingers.
Jordan: Do you remember when I pulled strings with the board and got Perry that promotion? Yeah. People started talking and Perry ended up totally emasculated. So it worked out great for me.
Thursday, May 6, 2021
J.D.: Dr. Kelso, I heard about Enid's passing. I'm so sorry.
Dr. Kelso: Well, you bottom out, and then you persevere. I feel like I can say the worst is over.
J.D.: How long ago did she pass?
Dr. Kelso: About two days.
Wednesday, May 5, 2021
Jordan: I am your new friend, so suck it!
J.D.: I gotta go talk to my boys.
Carla: And I have to go talk to Elliot.
Turk: Wait, don't leave me!
Jordan: So I hear you and the wife are trying for a boy. Little tip: The night that Perry and I conceived Jack, he was on top, it was about three days before my ovulation... Yeah. Oh, and he was choking me. Oh, it was so good.
Wednesday, May 12, 2021
Thursday, May 13, 2021
Friday, May 14, 2021
Saturday, May 15, 2021
Sunday, May 16, 2021