Scrubs Quote of the Day

Friday, August 7, 2020

Quote from Turk in My Waste of Time

Carla: I am not being ridiculous. To be safe, I'm going to line your boxers with bubble wrap.
Turk: Esta loca.
Carla: Look. We haven't talked about whether we want another kid, and if something happened... I just don't that decision to be made for us.
Turk: No decision's been made.
Carla: Are you sure?
Turk: I know there's only one down there, but he's the better one. He's like Tina Turner after she left Ike. Stronger, more confident, and is going to have a very successful solo career.

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Recent Quotes

Thursday, August 6, 2020

Quote from Elliot in My Bright Idea

Elliot: Is there something you want?
Dr. Cox: Actually, yes. It is one of those rare days where you could be of use to me. You speak German, I have a patient from Berlin and I need to tell the gentleman he has fluid in his lungs.
Elliot: Ihre Frau hat schöne Dosen.
Dr. Cox: [repeats] Ihre Frau hat schöne Dosen.
[later, Dr. Cox talks to the patient and his well-endowed wife:]
Dr. Cox: Ihre Frau hat schöne Dosen. [Your wife has nice cans.]
Man: What did you say about her?
Dr. Cox: Schöne Dosen. [Nice cans] How are you?

Wednesday, August 5, 2020

Quote from Janitor in My Nightingale

J.D.: There. Just a tiny splinter. It's funny. I can't stop thinking about Aesop's Fables. You know the one where the lion's always hassling the little mouse? Then the mouse pulls a thorn from his paw?
Janitor: Right, and the lion kills him anyway. Yeah.
J.D.: No, he doesn't.
Janitor: Trust me.

Tuesday, August 4, 2020

Quote from Janitor in My Old Lady

Janitor: [mouths] I'm going to kill you.
J.D.: [silently] What?
Janitor: [gestures and mouths] I'm going to kill you.
J.D.: Why?
Janitor: [shrugs]

Monday, August 3, 2020

Quote from Carla in My Journey

Carla: Listen, Stretch, if you know who this belongs to, I'd 'fess up right now. Otherwise, I'm gonna grab you by the back of that two-dollar haircut and force-feed you the sample so you can carry it around all day. That way, if I ever want it back, all I have to do is point you at a beaker and squeeze really hard! Now, you got any more funny jokes you gotta tell me?
Janitor: No, ma'am.

Sunday, August 2, 2020

Quote from Dr. Kelso in My Dumb Luck

Dr. Kelso: You know, those two remind me of a couple of dogs I had when I was a boy. JoJo and Spike. One day, JoJo got his head stuck in the mailbox, and Spike went over to try to help him and got his head wedged in there, too. And they both suffocated. They were extremely dumb animals, but close.

Saturday, August 1, 2020

Quote from Dr. Cox in My Clean Break

Dr. Cox: Morning, class. As residency director, it is my pleasure to have both surgical and medical personnel here with us today. In fact, in this room we have enough brain power to light up a city. Not a real city, mind you, but definitely a tiny ant city whose government has recently passed a series of stringent energy conservation laws.

Upcoming Quotes

Saturday, August 8, 2020

A quote from Dr. Kelso in the episode My Fifteen Seconds.

Sunday, August 9, 2020

A quote from Ted in the episode My Malpractice Decision.

Monday, August 10, 2020

A quote from Dr. Cox in the episode My Rabbit.

Tuesday, August 11, 2020

A quote from Dr. Kelso in the episode My Dumb Luck.

Wednesday, August 12, 2020

A quote from Turk in the episode My Bad Too.