Scrubs Quote of the Day

Tuesday, May 11, 2021

Quote from Jordan in My Bad

Dr. Cox: Don't look her in the eyes, Newbie. She'll steal your soul. So, how are things down in the underworld?
Jordan: Good. And you? Still have a rollicking social life?
Dr. Cox: Since I cut you loose it's been one big party.
Jordan: In the next five seconds, name some place, other than the hospital and your apartment, you've been in the last month. Five, four, three, two...
Dr. Cox: My car! On the way to the big party.
Jordan: Ooh, that must have hurt.


Recent Quotes

Monday, May 10, 2021

Quote from Dr. Cox in My Number One Doctor

Mr. Wolmer: There, I gave you 5 stars.
Dr. Cox: Thank you! And now I have to take your laptop from you, as I've deemed you're just too darn stupid to use it. You see those bell peppers that you're munching? They aren't gonna do a truck load of jack against the cancer raging inside of your body. Of course, I've only been a doctor for some 20 years, and the person who wrote that Wikipedia entry also authored the Battlestar Galactica episode guide, so what the heck do I know? But, if you feel like living, page me.

Sunday, May 9, 2021

Quote from Elliot in My Boss' Free Haircut

Elliot: What is going up with Turk? He doesn't even seem bummed out.
J.D.: I uplifted his spirits.
Elliot: How did you do that? Because Carla is just bottoming out, man. I mean, I'm not even supposed to be here at work today. I just came to use bathroom because she keeps violating the rule.
J.D.: Quiet on the crapper?
Elliot: Yeah. It's like she just stores everything up until my cheeks hit the seat. She thinks she's exempted from the rule. Nobody is exempted from the rule, J.D.
J.D.: Okay, it's okay. I'll never talk to you on the crapper.
Elliot: I can't afford to soundproof my bathroom.

Saturday, May 8, 2021

Quote from Dr. Cox in My Unicorn

J.D.: Reunion time. This is gonna be great.
Murray: [clears throat]
Mr. Marks: Murray?
Murray: Before you say anything, I just want you to know if you need a kidney, you can have mine.
J.D.: See?
Murray: For seventy thousand dollars! [smiles to J.D.]
Dr. Cox: I love this moment so much I want to have sex with it.

Friday, May 7, 2021

Quote from Jordan in My Own Personal Hell

Elliot: As a woman, have you ever noticed how self-esteem issues just creep up on you?
Carla: I have sausage fingers.
Jordan: Do you remember when I pulled strings with the board and got Perry that promotion? Yeah. People started talking and Perry ended up totally emasculated. So it worked out great for me.

Thursday, May 6, 2021

Quote from Dr. Kelso in Our First Day of School

J.D.: Dr. Kelso, I heard about Enid's passing. I'm so sorry.
Dr. Kelso: Well, you bottom out, and then you persevere. I feel like I can say the worst is over.
J.D.: How long ago did she pass?
Dr. Kelso: About two days.

Wednesday, May 5, 2021

Quote from Jordan in My Rite of Passage

Jordan: I am your new friend, so suck it!
J.D.: I gotta go talk to my boys.
Carla: And I have to go talk to Elliot.
Turk: Wait, don't leave me!
Jordan: So I hear you and the wife are trying for a boy. Little tip: The night that Perry and I conceived Jack, he was on top, it was about three days before my ovulation... Yeah. Oh, and he was choking me. Oh, it was so good.

Upcoming Quotes

Wednesday, May 12, 2021

A quote from J.D. in the episode My Journey.

Thursday, May 13, 2021

A quote from J.D. in the episode My Big Bird.

Friday, May 14, 2021

A quote from Turk in the episode My Fault.

Saturday, May 15, 2021

A quote from Dr. Cox in the episode My New Old Friend.

Sunday, May 16, 2021

A quote from Carla in the episode My Rule of Thumb.