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My Fruit Cups

‘My Fruit Cups’

Season 2, Episode 8 - Aired November 14, 2002

Short on cash, J.D. and Turk volunteer at an urgent care center, and liberate Sacred Heart of some of its supplies. Elliot resists her father's attempt to push her into OB/GYN work. Meanwhile, Dr. Cox's relationship with Julie (Heather Locklear) is thrown in doubt when Jordan wants to get back together with him.

Quote from J.D.

Janitor: Yep, we got him. And he's gonna pay.
J.D.: They're actually arresting him for stealing pudding and toilet paper?
Janitor: No, they found 20 bottles of Vicodin in his backpack. Did you steal pudding and toilet paper?
J.D.: What? No! I hate pudding and I don't use toilet paper. I have one of those French things that shoots water up your butt.
Janitor: Bidet?
J.D.: Bidet to you, sir.


Quote from Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox: Look, morning sickness sucks. Believe me, I know. I've been there. Hey, Jordan, are you- Are you crying?
Jordan: No. I don't know. I'm just completely hormonal. I mean, you try going from out-of-control horny to clinically depressed six times a day.
Dr. Cox: Give me a break. I can knock that out on the way to work.

Quote from Turk

Turk: This is the reason why your headache didn't go away. That's actually pronounced analgesic, not "anal"-gesic. Sir, the pills go in your mouth.

Quote from Carla

Carla: Don't be angry at Bambi.
Dr. Cox: I'm not angry. So my girlfriend serviced most of the staff, I'm proud of her commitment to medicine.
Carla: Please. What about the women you've slept with? Your ex-wife, that med student, your ex-wife, the cute nurse from radiology, your ex-wife-
Dr. Cox: Would you please get off my ex-wife?
Carla: I will if you will.
Dr. Cox: Dammit. Gosh, now I'm too proud of you to be mad at you.

Quote from Elliot

Elliot: Those Gyno Girls are putting the pressure on. We must have looked at a hundred women's bajingos today. Bajingo, bajingo, bajingo. I mean, I can't even look at my own bajingo, you know?
Carla: Well, is that because it looks so much like a vagina?
Elliot: [chokes] Carla, there's people!

Quote from Dr. Kelso

Dr. Kelso: Is there one bathroom in this damn place that has toilet paper, or do I have to start carrying around a basket of leaves?

Quote from Dr. Kelso

Dr. Simon Reid: So, did Dr. Gerson ever contact you?
Elliot: You told her to talk to me?
Dr. Simon Reid: She went to med school with a colleague at my hospital. Come on, I want to go see the department.
Dr. Kelso: Paging Dr. Backbone to the Bajingo Ward. [laughs]

Quote from Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox: Jordan, please tell me you ate a raccoon and it's slowly making its way through your digestive system.
Jordan: Oh, don't worry. It's not your baby. Though not for lack of trying. See, we have sex a lot.
Julie: Who are you?
Jordan: Who do you think I am?
Julie: Well, you have keys to the apartment, so I'm gonna say the maid.
Dr. Cox: Julie, this is my ex-wife, Jordan. Jordan, this is my girlfriend, Julie. OK, that was a treat, wasn't it? Now, would you like me to call you a cab, or should I just whistle and have the flying monkeys bring the broom around?

Quote from Jordan

Dr. Cox: Who did that to you?
Jordan: Well, I was at this fabulous hotel in Greece, chock full of available, wealthy men-
Dr. Cox: So it was the bellboy?
Jordan: Or busboy, or pool-boy. Something "boy." I don't know.

Quote from Dr. Kelso

Elliot: You know, forget it. I'm gonna tell them I'm not interested.
Carla: I think you should.
[Dr. Kelso laughs]
Elliot: Sir, why are you laughing?
Dr. Kelso: Oh, who knows? It could be the funny face I made with my peas. But, gun to my head, I'd say I'm laughing at the notion that you could stand up to anyone.

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