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33Quotes from ‘My Super Ego’

Scrubs: My Super Ego

107. My Super Ego

Aired November 6, 2001

J.D. is jealous when a hotshot internet threatens his place as leader of the pack. Meanwhile, Turk gets a sudden case of stage fright after realizing how easily surgery could go wrong.

Quote from Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox: Carla. Wow. You look great!
Carla: You're not messing with me, right?
Dr. Cox: No, but I'd like to.
Carla: Turk bought me this dress out of the blue. I guess he knew I'd love it.
Dr. Cox: Oh. Look, Carla, back when I was an intern, I remember the pressure being so insane, that the only way I could get by was to race home and even though my wife was already asleep, I'd gently wake her, look her in the eyes, and then I'd passive-aggressively torture her until she packed a bag and went to her mom's for the week. Does that help?
Carla: Like a big hug with words.
Dr. Cox: Hey. The point is just because a guy has problems expressing himself, that doesn't mean he doesn't need... you. Oh, boy. Women so don't get me. It's not even funny. It's mind-boggling, quite frankly. The whole thing is stunning.

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Quote from Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox: So you had a little stage fright. It's no big deal. Happened to me once.
Turk: Really?
Dr. Cox: I'd be more than glad to tell you what a lot of doctors do to relieve the stress. Take a little trip to Palm-dale.
Turk: What?
Dr. Cox: OK. Give yourself the old low five.
Turk: I'm not getting it.
Dr. Cox: Physician love thyself.
Turk: Are you talking about Downtown Lester Brown?
Dr. Cox: Lowers the heart rate, releases the endorphins. Basic physiology.
Turk: [laughs] OK, you almost had me. You're not serious?
Dr. Cox: Yes, I am.
Turk: No, you're not.
Dr. Cox: Yes.
Turk: No.

Quote from Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox: Nobody hurts Carla and gets away with it.
Doug: Who's Carla?
Dr. Cox: I was talking to myself. Don't eavesdrop. If this kid doesn't leave I'm gonna kill him. [Doug starts to get up] Now, if you leave, I'll know you were eavesdropping and I'll go and kill you anyway. Stay. Good girl.

Quote from Carla

J.D.: [v.o.] I think everyone's finally coming around to my way of thinking about Nick.
Carla: You're right, he definitely has a cute little butt.
Elliot: It's almost like it's been sculpted.
J.D.: Who cares? Everybody's got a cute butt. I have a cute butt.
Carla: You should bring it in some day.

Quote from Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox: Listen, I was thinking about what happened earlier and, anyway, here.
Carla: Wow, you finally dug down deep in your heart and came up with a muffin.
Dr. Cox: That's store-bought, sister. Blueberries in there the size of your fist.
Carla: I shouldn't have dragged you into it. You don't know Turk.
Dr. Cox: Actually, I met him today. We had a terrific chat.
[flashback to Turk emerging from a bathroom with Dr. Cox and a group of fellow doctors sitting in the corridor:]
Dr. Cox: Give the man a hand, that's just terrific work. You know darn well that felt good. Feeling better about yourself, aren't you?
[present:]
Dr. Cox: Real nice guy.
Carla: It's hard letting yourself be vulnerable with someone, you know?
Dr. Cox: Just eat the damn muffin, would you please?

Quote from Elliot

Elliot: You know what, even though I'm on call tonight, I'm not gonna let the bad stuff in anymore. I'm not gonna let myself get overwhelmed. What?
J.D.: Well, it's just that Friday night, when you had people over, you locked yourself in your room because we brought the wrong chips.
Elliot: Look at me. That was the old Elliot.

Quote from J.D.

J.D.: Are you all right?
Nick: That kid is eventually gonna die. Whether it's today or tomorrow. Or a month from now. There's nothing I can do. Nothing works. Now, his parents wanna talk to me. What am I supposed to say? Peter lived a good long seven years? Seven years, man. It's not fair. I hate this place, this job.
Elliot: Nick, it's not your fault.
Nick: I can't do it any more. I'm done. I'm done.
J.D.: [v.o.] The scariest thing was I thought he was stronger than all of us. But maybe it's not about being the best. Maybe it's about finding little things that get you through the day. Whether it's the support of someone close to you, or letting yourself feel overwhelmed, if only for a moment. Or being selfless every once in a while. I don't know. I guess in the end, it's about surviving, any way you can.

Quote from Janitor

Janitor: You're stupid.
J.D.: That's it?
Janitor: Give it time. It'll eat at you.
[later:]
J.D.: Am I stupid?
Elliot: Yeah, a little bit.
J.D.: [v.o.] Damn him!

Quote from J.D.

Nick: Gosh, can you believe we're doctors? The other night, I'm at a restaurant and this guy starts choking. They asked if anyone was a doctor. I didn't even move.
J.D.: Yeah, you know, I still feel like I'm seven years old playing MASH with my older brother.
[flashback to a young J.D. wearing a wig next to a dog:]
Young J.D.: I don't want to be Hot Lips again.
Brother: Shut up and kiss Frank. [dog pants]
[present:]
J.D.: I don't talk to my brother much.

Quote from Elliot

Elliot: You know, I kinda had a date last night.
J.D.: Really?
Elliot: Yeah. A guy on the bus fell asleep on me and drooled on my shoulder.
J.D.: [laughs] You slut.
Elliot: Yeah.
J.D.: How about Nick?
Elliot: Oh, I'd love him to drool on me. Oh, that's gross. Why did I say that? I shouldn't talk to people.

Quote from J.D.

J.D.: [v.o.] It felt weird trying to push Nick on her. I mean, this morning I wanted to kill the guy. But the truth is, he's so nice, he probably would've helped me.
[fantasy: J.D. choking Nick:]
Nick: Come on, J.D., you're not closing the windpipe. You've got to put more pressure down here. Come on! I know you can do it! Come on! Come on!

Quote from Todd

Todd: Dr. Wen threatened to sew my butt cheeks together.
Turk: And yet you continue to eat chilli.
Todd: Dude, I'm taking the cheese off.

Quote from Dr. Kelso

Dr. Kelso: Good afternoon, doctors. I've gathered you all here because, well... Attendance at my noon conferences has been very disappointing. In fact, I've begun to wonder if maybe you have something more important to do. Maybe you feel the need to sneak off and have a little nappy-nap? I love nappy-naps. Or maybe you've forgotten that my conferences are mandatory. My hospital, my rules!
J.D.: Actually, sir, I've never missed one. Batting 1,000 over here.
Dr. Kelso: Son, I'm more proud of you than I've ever been of an intern.

Quote from Dr. Cox

Carla: Why would Turk talk to Elliot about this and not me? They're not friends, know what I mean?
Dr. Cox: After 25 minutes, the only way I could know what you mean more is if you wrote "My boyfriend doesn't open up to me" on a mallet and smashed me over the head with it.
Carla: Why can't you just for once dig down in your heart, access some emotions and empathise with me?
Dr. Cox: I'm sorry, what were we doing?
Carla: See, that's why no one likes you.
Dr. Cox: Hey, you like me a little bit. [to Nurse Roberts] And so do you, sweet cakes. Huh? Want a little sugar from Daddy?

Quote from Dr. Kelso

Dr. Kelso: Well, looky here. I thought this was my special place. I'd ask you not to tell the others about this spot, but none of them seem to be talking to you.
J.D.: It's been a rough day, sir.
Dr. Kelso: You see, Dr. Dorian, your problem is, you're a pansy. If you were in my way, I'd throw you off this ledge right now. We're out here alone. No one would ever know. [moves suddenly and makes J.D. flinch]

Quote from Turk

Dr. Wen: So listen, I've scheduled an appendectomy for you later. Just make sure you're good on potassium.
Turk: Sir, I got so much potassium, it's coming out of my assium, you know what I mean? See, what I did was I took the word potassium and I dropped the first three letters, made a doody joke.
Dr. Wen: Funny stuff.


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