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39Quotes from ‘Our Drunk Friend’

Scrubs: Our Drunk Friend

902. Our Drunk Friend

Aired December 1, 2009

Lucy hopes to turn an alcholic patient's life around, despite nobody in the hospital believing he can be saved. Meanwhile, J.D. and Turk try to push Denise and Drew along in their relationship, and Cole annoys another one of his colleagues.

Quote from Turk

Turk: All right, class, first order of business is simple. We're gonna take out our... J.D., what are you doing?
J.D.: Just watching you teach.
Turk: You know, in this light, You look like Denzel Washington in The Great Debaters.
Turk: Come on, man. I'm working here. Now listen. If you- You know that's what I was going for, right?
J.D.: It's pretty obvious.
Turk: All right, class, you now have 30 seconds to list the adductor muscles of the hip. Your group does not want to be last. Ready? Go.
J.D.: [v.o.] The pressure here can make some students crack.
Man: [screams]
Turk: Amir, you can't just be grabbing kidneys like that! Bring it back!


Quote from Turk

Denise: I can't believe what Cole gets away with. I'd like to fill a tube sock full of batteries and just beat him a little. You know, send a message? What?
Turk: Denise, you're scary. I mean, sure, you seem cute at first, but then you eat after midnight or get some water on you, and then boom, you turn into this monster, and I gotta throw you in a microwave and explode you.
Denise: What the hell are you talking about?
Turk: I'm talking Gremlins, woman. You know, you should get your boyfriend to watch that movie, and then maybe he could understand you better.

Quote from Drew

Turk: I just think you should go for yours. Go for yours!
Drew: You don't know me. I spent the last year In the Alaskan wilderness, living in a yurt. The only human contact I had was an Eskimo boy who sold me salmon jerky and painkillers. And do you know why? Because when I flunked out of med school before, I consequently torched every relationship that meant anything to me. I'm not taking that chance again.
Turk: What's a yurt?

Quote from Dr. Kelso

Dr. Kelso: [to Drew] You know, son, I was married to my Enid for 44 years. And now she's gone. And the only reason I teach is so I don't have to be alone in my house. You can't wall yourself off from other people. You won't make it.
Turk: That's some truth being dropped there.
Dr. Kelso: Great. So how about you two clear out? Cindy here's three martinis in, and I'm about to land that marlin. Oh, damn. She was go to go.

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