J.D.: Look, it's been a very long day.
Janitor: Well, long days are like pancakes... Admit it!
J.D.: Fine! I put a penny in the door! It was eight years ago.
Janitor: What do you know? It finally worked.
J.D.: It was an accident. It fell out of my pocket and rolled into the door. It was my first day. I didn't want you to be mad. Do you believe me?
Janitor: Yeah. I saw it happen.
J.D.: If you saw it happen, then why did you ask me back then if I put a penny in the door?
Janitor: It was a test of character. You failed, and you lost out on a wonderful friendship. [starts to walk away]
J.D.: We could still be friends. [the Janitor stops, looks back and then keeps walking]

Janitor: So your shift is officially over, and that'll do it. Nice knowing you, John Dorian.
J.D.: It was nice knowing you, too... What is your name?
Janitor: Glen Matthews.
J.D.: Well, that was easy.
Janitor: Yeah, it's easy now. When I was a kid, I had a horrible impediment. I'd say "Gen Maffewf."
J.D.: I'm glad I wasn't there during those times.
Janitor: Yeah, I would've torn you to "pieffeff."

J.D.: [v.o.] Things rarely go exactly the way you want them to, so sometimes you make do with whatever you can get.
J.D.: Good night.
Dr. Cox: Good night.
Sunny: Ah, he's finally gone. Talk about making a big deal over nothing, you know? I mean, Dr. Dorian was fine, but he was no better than any other doctor.
Dr. Cox: For the record, he was the best that ever came through this dump. [J.D. returns behind Dr. Cox's back] John Dorian was the first and only doctor I ever met who cared as much as I do, and you can forget about him being just an exceptional physician. Because the fact of the matter is, he was... He's a damn exceptional person. That's why people gravitated to him. It's why I did. He was my friend.
J.D.: Thank you, God. That was beautiful.
Dr. Cox: Oh, God, no.
J.D.: It's okay, Perry. You just said how you feel. Honestly, I am so full of your love right now, I literally could not take another drop. Brace yourself. I'm coming in. You smell like a father figure.
Dr. Cox: Oh! Please stop.

J.D.: How come you never tortured me, you know, like, when I first started?
Carla: You were Bambi. Somebody had to teach you how to walk.
J.D.: Thank you for that. For being my teacher.
Carla: No problem.
J.D.: Is there anything I can do to repay the favor?
Carla: Tell me my husband loves me more than he loves you.
J.D.: It's about the same.
Carla: I'll take it. I'm going to miss you, Bambi.
J.D.: I'm going to miss you, too.

J.D.: [v.o.] Endings are never easy. I always build them up so much in my head, they can't possibly live up to my expectations, and I just end up disappointed. I'm not even sure why it matters to me so much how things end here. I guess it's because we all want to believe that what we do is very important, that people hang on to our every word, that they care what we think. The truth is, you should consider yourself lucky if you even occasionally get to make someone, anyone, feel a little better. After that, it's all about the people that you let into your life, and as my mind drifted to faces I've seen here before, I was taken to memories of family...
[fantasy: as J.D. walks through the corridors of the hospital, he imagines various people from his past:]
Dan: Hey, little brother.
J.D.: [v.o.] Of coworkers.
Todd: Goodbye five from the Big Dog.
J.D.: [v.o.] Of lost loves.
Jamie: You never called.
Alex: I miss you.
J.D.: [v.o.] Even of those who've left us.
Jill Tracy: There you are!
Mrs. Wilk: Hi, tiger.
J.D.: [v.o.] And as I rounded that corner, they all came at me in a wave of shared experience.
Nurse Roberts: Keep it holy, Q-tip.
Ted's band: Boing, flip.
Mike: I broke my penis again, but this time it was fun.
Lloyd: Take care, bra. Take real good care.
Dr. Mickhead: I didn't kill her.
Randall: Way to leave a cherry gig, bra.
Leonard: I got me some white meat.
Dr. Zelzter: Key party later. There will be prostitutes.
Mrs. Tanner: Did you ever go on that picnic? Make sure you do.
Lonnie: I hate you so much, J.D.
Dr. Steadman: It's like a baguette.
Hooch: Hooch is crazy.
J.D.: [v.o.] And even though it felt warm and safe, I knew it had to end. It's never good to live in the past too long. As for the future, thanks to Dan, it didn't seem so scary anymore. It could be whatever I want it to be.

Dr. Cox: Did you just page me to ask me how much ibuprofen to give Mrs. Lenzner here?
Sunny: Well, I was worried it would exacerbate the patient's-
Dr. Cox: It's ibuprofen! Here's what you do. When she wakes up, get her to open her mouth nice and wide, then get some of those ibuprofen pills in your hands and throw them at her. Whatever sticks in there, that's the correct dosage.
J.D.: And the cycle repeats, huh?
Dr. Cox: Beg your pardon?
J.D.: You yelled at me for the very same thing when I was an intern.
Dr. Cox: I'm going to go ahead and jot that down as one of the most fascinating tidbits of the day.

J.D.: I've been here for eight years, and I don't know your name. I call you "The Janitor." I'm sure I have asked you what your name is.
Janitor: I don't think so.
J.D.: Really?
Janitor: People don't want to know a janitor's name. You've probably forgotten my name already. Glen.
Janitor: Glen. Maffewf.
J.D.: Well, then, so long, Glen Matthews.
Janitor: So long.
Orderly: Hey, Tommy.
Janitor: What's up?

Janitor: Young lady, are you responsible for jamming those elevator doors?
Denise: No, good sir, I am not.
Janitor: Tell the truth.
Denise: Okay, I did it, but it was an accident.
Janitor: That's okay, because you came clean. And here's $10 to buy some ice cream.
Denise: This is stupid. He blackmailed me into doing this.
Janitor: No improv-ing. Give me the money back.
Denise: No. My script says to rip it up and walk away dramatically.
Janitor: She was supposed to be my long-lost sister. Were you getting that?

J.D.: How could Dan not want to know if he has Huntington's disease? Maybe he's in denial. I mean, if it were me, I'd be going crazy. I'm going to go talk to him.
Dr. Cox: I implore you, please do the one thing that I am beyond confident that you know how to do. Nothing. Do nothing. It is the patient's decision.
Carla: Has Perry told you how he feels about you yet?
J.D.: No, and he says he's not going to.
Carla: Well, just wait him out. You'll beat him in the end.
Dr. Cox: Un... let it arrive... acceptable. Unacceptable.

J.D.: Why are you stopping?
Turk: Why are you stopping?
J.D.: I don't want to say.
Turk: Just say.
J.D.: Let's face it. We said goodbye too early. I don't think I've got another hug in me.
Turk: Honest to God, I never thought I'd hear you say that.
J.D.: How could I ever not want to hug you? Has the world gone mad? This is crazy. We can do this.
Turk: You're absolutely right, buddy. Come here. [they hug] Nope. Not feeling it.
J.D.: You smell like regret. Let it go.