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‘Our Thanks’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Scrubs: Our Thanks

913. Our Thanks

Aired March 17, 2010

Lucy struggles to convince her study group to honor the patient whose cadaver they have been studying. Turk is less than impressed when Cole decides surgery is his true calling. Meanwhile, Drew freaks out when Denise decides to move in with him.

Quote from Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox: Okay, so young Cole may not be an ideal protégé. He may not even be an ideal human. Nevertheless, you don't get to pick who needs you as a mentor. Do you realize, for the last eight years I've been saddled with a whiny, clingy lady-man whose very life force was dependent on hugs? Now, of course, I have young Drew, and although he may be filled with a bubbling rage that I fear cannot be contained very much longer, at least he doesn't need me to hold his hand when he speaks of love and his true feelings. The point is, we don't always get to choose who deserves and who wants our help. That's it.
Turk: Why you gotta always ruin pastry time? Perfectly good pastry.

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Quote from Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox: All right, then. Listen up, murderers. As you know, we are approaching the end of the semester. The ceremony of thanks is quickly approaching.
Turk: That's where you publicly thank the friends and families of the cadavers you've been dissecting this semester.
Dr. Cox: It's actually a pretty sweet deal for them. After their loved ones are stripped for parts like a 1998 Mitsubishi Mirage, we treat 'em to some free cold cuts and a chance to listen to you regurgitate some trite quotes about their family members' sacrifice that you found on the Internet.

Quote from Turk

Turk: Oh, yeah. Uh, heads up to all you white people out there. Reciting a Maya Angelou poem in an old black lady's voice. Not cool, okay? Cole, I'm talkin' to you. Talkin' to you.

Quote from Cole

Cole: I don't see what the big deal is. People die in third world countries all the time, and no one cares.
Maya: Since when did you become so political?
Cole: Since my boy Trent went on a surf vacation to El Salvador and got a tattoo infection. He had to die with a partial mermaid on his shoulder. It just looked like a regular stupid lady. Where was his ceremony?

Quote from Cole

Cole: I'm so psyched about this surgery thing. I already know what I'm gonna call my surgical practice "Cole cutz."
Turk: With a "z"?
Cole: That's right! Man, you gotta knock before you enter Cole's brain.

Quote from Denise

Drew: Can you believe this? Apparently, there's water damage in the wall or something.
Denise: Yeah, I heard about that. Some guy upstairs cracks his head open in the shower, lies there for four hours, and we gotta pay the price.

Quote from Cole

Turk: Cole? I totally forgot about you. Have you been standing here all day?
Cole: I don't know. I can't read old people clocks.
Turk: And you haven't moved once, not even to pee?
Cole: Nope. I learned a trick at keggers when there's a long line at the bathroom. Let a little out, let it dry. Little out, let it dry.

Quote from Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox: Didn't I say that he has what it takes to be a surgeon? Beyond the blind sense of entitlement and complete lack of human empathy, there's the empty-headed concentration, the unjustifiable arrogance and the sheer willingness to stand in one place and wet yourself like a zoo elephant. That's awe-inspiring stuff.
Cole: Thank you, Dr. C.!

Quote from Turk

Turk: I want you to imagine these bears were in a horrible accident. Like a bus crash. And before you ask, no, I don't know why the bears were on a bus. Maybe they're super smart government bears on their way to fight terrorism. Anyway, all you need to do is sew one of these bad boys up before me, and I'll know you have the skills to be a surgeon. Are we clear?
Cole: As a vodka tonic.

Quote from Dr. Cox

Lucy: Dr. Cox, I don't know what I'm gonna do about this ceremony. I had this whole-
Dr. Cox: Da-da-da-da-da-da. No sitting. Can't you see I'm reading a very important chart here?
Lucy: A British tabloid?
Dr. Cox: This chart functions as my shield to protect me from those who would annoy me.
Cole: Hey, Dr. C.
Dr. Cox: Shield on. Oh. See what you've done? You have destroyed the shield-like power of my chart.

Quote from Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox: Oh, Gandhu, step away from the pizza pastry, would you please?
Turk: Yeah, but the chemicals taste better when it's hot, so...
Dr. Cox: Fair enough. I've come to clear up a point of confusion. [points to Drew] This is what a protégé should look like. It is an empty vessel that I'm filling with knowledge.
Drew: I also get to hold stuff.

Quote from Todd

Turk: Cole didn't have what it takes, all right? We surgeons are an elite crew.
Dr. Cox: Really? Say, Todd, do me a favor. Would you tell me what that wonderful new invention is you've been working on?
Todd: It's a series of erotic novelty wines. Chardonn-gay, sauvignon donk, teeny-weeny peeny grigio. Patent pending five. [high-fives Turk] Drink up, boys.

Quote from Drew

Turk: Come on. He wasn't even serious about it. I bet he's already moved on.
Drew: Actually, he hasn't. He's still practicing.
[flashback to Lucy and Drew arriving at her dorm room to find Cole has cut open her horse plushes:]
Lucy: [gasps]
Cole: I can fix it.
[present:]
Drew: And the worst part is, I had to stay in that room for 17 horse funerals.

Quote from Dr. Cox

Drew: Dr. Cox, can I ask you something?
Dr. Cox: Yes?
Drew: When you're in love, h-how do you set aside your fears so that you can just dive in and follow your heart?
Dr. Cox: Oh, dear God, Drew. Not you. It's happening again. It's happening again.

Quote from Dr. Cox

Lucy: [v.o.] They say that by the end of your first semester in med school, it's already obvious what kind of doctor you'll end up being.
Dr. Cox: Him.
Turk: Who Trang?
Dr. Cox: Yep.
Turk: Oh, man. Small hands, great with the ladies, Ob-Gyn.
Dr. Cox: No, more like a shopping mall pretzel vendor.

Quote from Turk

Turk: Man, you're so lucky to have someone like drew. I wish I could find a stud-wannabe surgeon to take under my wing. I've been making a play for this guy right here Clint, but he's too cool and aloof.
Clint: See you in class, Dr. Turk.
Turk: Not if I see you first! Ha! We gonna kick it! He's gonna think I'm lame.
Dr. Cox: You are lame.

Quote from Denise

Denise: Hey, should we get married today?
Drew: What?
Denise: We've been dating for four months. I mean, it's pretty good, right? Let's stop screwing around and just get it over with. Who cares?
Drew: Okay, obviously your diet of power bars and boxed wine has scrambled your brain. We got a great thing going here, you know? Why mess with it?
Denise: Yeah, you're probably right. It was just an idea.
Drew: Okay.
Denise: Let's make a baby instead. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm on my birth control... I think. Yeah. Uh...

Quote from Lucy

Lucy: Guys, just do me a favor, okay? Come up with one thing that's important to you about Ben. That's it. It could be a poem or a lightly choreographed dance number. Don't be afraid to go modern. I think Ben would appreciate it. Fine. Or you could just bring some pretzels or something.

Quote from Cole

Turk: Well, Cole, everything looks great two weeks out, the wound's healed. Test results came back clean. Your cancer's gone.
Cole: That is so crazy. You know, I-I've always known that a surgeon might hook me up with some sweet calf implants or a robot arm, but I never thought one would save my life.
Turk: I'm not gonna lie. Surgeons are pretty awesome.
Cole: Hey, Dr. T., do you believe in fate? You know, like, the stuff they talk about during the boring parts of Lost? Well, I was thinking that maybe I got cancer for a reason. Like like somebody up there is telling me that I'm supposed to be a surgeon!

Quote from Cole

Turk: Oh, Cole, you don't want to be a surgeon.
Dr. Cox: Now just a second there, Gandhi. You've been looking for a protégé, and the good lord answered your prayers.
Cole: Oh, Dr. T., I would kill to be your protégé!
Turk: You don't want to be a surgeon, Cole. Okay? It's boring and it sucks. It's the complete opposite of a waterslide!
Dr. Cox: Dr. Turk is right. You'd you'd hate it. All the blood and guts. It's like an amazing horror movie.
Cole: I love horror movies!
Dr. Cox: Well, sure, but you'd have to wear a mask like a ninja, and who wants to do that?
Cole: Last Halloween I was a slutty ninja. Oh, this is gonna be awesome! I'm more sure about wanting to be a surgeon than I've ever been about anything ever. Okay. I gotta go update my Facebook status. But then I'm gonna come back, and I'm gonna start shadowing you, and I'm never gonna leave your side.

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