Kim Briggs Quotes Page 1 of 3

Quote from My Urologist

[as the Scrubs theme plays:]
Kim: That's backwards. It's been bugging me for years.

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Quote from My Mirror Image

J.D.: You know what's so messed up about this whole baby thing? I mean, I feel like I'm drowning, and it hasn't even fazed Kim.
[meanwhile, Kim is crying as she operates on a patient:]
Kim: [sobbing] Okay, let's, uh, close her up.
Nurse: Dr. Briggs? Why are you crying?
Kim: This song always gets me. My brother was killed by a funky cold medina.

Quote from My Urologist

Kim: Mr. Peters, I looked at your CT scan and I recommend we don't do surgery.
Mr. Peters: Great.
Kim: This is goodbye for us, but I'm leaving you in the capable hands of Dr. John D. Dorian. You take care. [to J.D.] I gave you a new middle initial. It reassures patients for some reason. In my mind, the "D" stands for "Dallas" because I just got finished telling Mr. Peters that's where I lost my virginity. Don't know how we got down that path. Something about that old man just makes me want to open up.

Quote from My Best Friend's Baby's Baby and My Baby's Baby

Kim: This sucks. I mean, the hardest decision I've had to make in the last year was what hairstyle to get. And even then, all I did was open up an US Magazine, close my eyes and pick a random celebrity.
J.D.: Kirsten Dunst?
Kim: Owen Wilson.
J.D.: Oh.

Quote from My Hard Labor

Dr. Donna: Okay, Kim, you're still a few hours away, and I understand you'll be wanting an epidural?
Kim: Yes, but I hate pain so much I'm hoping there's a pill you can give me so that getting the epidural itself won't hurt.
Dr. Donna: [laughs]
Kim: Why does she think I'm joking? I hate her and her chat monkey face.
J.D.: Kim, your quite voice is a little louder than usual.

Quote from My Hard Labor

Dr. Donna: The delivery nurses usually get the anesthesiologist to deliver your pain medication, but we are little under stuff, so...
Kim: J.D.!
J.D.: I'll be in charge of the epidural. And as soon as you are ready, I'll have it make you so numb you're gonna feel like you're passing a marshmallow.
Kim: But that sounds sticky and uncomfortable.
J.D.: Passing a unicorn.
Kim: That's a big horse with a horn!
Dr. Kelso: Passing a rainbow.
Kim: That's better.

Quote from My Urologist

J.D.: [v.o.] Uh, Turk talking to a new staff member. Give her a special treat and say hello.
J.D.: Hello!
Turk: J.D., I'm sure you know Kim Briggs.
J.D.: Uh, no, you big knucklehead, I don't. On behalf of everyone here at Sacred Heart, I'd like to say konichiwa.
Kim: I've been here five years, big guy.
J.D.: I know that, Kim. It's a game. What's your name? It's Turk. What's that guy's name? I don't know. It's a patient. Looks like a Dave. Are you Dave? Maybe he's a Dave. We don't know. Hey.
Kim: Torture him about this.

Quote from My Urologist

J.D.: I had checked up on Kim. She got along with everybody. All the guys liked her.
Kim: Cover up, sailors. Chick on deck. I need a few extra towels for the ladies' locker room.
Todd: Oh, I got a towel for you. Yah!
[Kim grabs the towel Todd was "rat-tailing "and quickly wraps it around her hair]
Kim: Thanks, Todd.
J.D.: [v.o.] All the women liked her.
[Nurse Roberts, Elliot, and Lisa take the towels Kim gave them and quickly wrap them around their hair]
Kim: I just love that every woman knows how to do that.
J.D.: [v.o.] She even got along with the greasers.
Kim: Guys, I know everyone gives you a hard time, but trust me, this look is coming back.
J.D.: [v.o.] I never got a synchronized snap from the greasers.

Quote from My Urologist

Kim: Mr. Peters, having a gal urologist might seem a little uncomfortable, but the penis is just another excretory organ, so let's take the stigma off of it. Now, this is the length of the average penis.
J.D.: [v.o.] What?!
Mr. Peters: That seems about right.
Kim: Good for you. I was just messing with Dr. Dorian over there.
J.D.: You know what? I'm not talking to any of you guys. [exits]
Kim: [laughing] I know, right?
J.D.: [enters] You lie! [lifts up Mr. Peter's blanket] Oh, my God!

Quote from My Conventional Wisdom

Kim: Anyone else have a question? Yes, you i-in the back.
Old MC: Bust-a-move!
Kim: Really more of a statement than a question, but thank you.

Quote from My Cuz

Kim: So we've been dating about a month and I just didn't want to say anything until I knew it was gonna go somewhere.
Sean: Well, we hit a little speed bump when I first found out that Sam was your baby.
Kim: Yeah, he got drunk and asked me to sell him on the black market.
Sean: Yeah. She wouldn't, but...

Quote from My Best Friend's Baby's Baby and My Baby's Baby

Kim: I mean, having a baby can completely ruin your life, you know? Not to mention, as a urologist, I have seen what childbirth can do to you down there. I mean, I examined this one woman last month and it was like "Hello, hello, hello, hello..."
Carla: Not a good time, Kim!

Quote from My Coffee

Elliot: Kim, uh, J.D. tells us that you're looking around town for a new job?
Kim: Yeah, I just don't think the department head here is ever gonna promote me.
Elliot: Why?
[flashback to Kim and J.D. at the piano at a party:]
Kim: Dr. Lemke! You're gonna love this. We're a husband and wife piano playing team, only I have no hands!
[J.D. plays piano. Kim joins in by hitting keys with her forehead]
Kim: With my head!
J.D.: How great is that!
Dr. Lemke: This is my wife, Sally. She lost her thumbs last month when our pet Komodo dragon, Morty, got out of his cage.
J.D.: On the bright side, you have beautiful nubs.

Quote from My Hard Labor

Kim: I've been work up the courage to tell you that I'm falling-
J.D.: No! Don't say it.
Kim: Why not?
J.D.: Look, I think you're amazing, but I'm just not ready to say it back yet.
Kim: That's okay. I really hurt you, so it makes sense that you'd need more time to get there.
J.D.: [v.o.] Bullet dodged.
Kim: Hey, what the hell J.D., I love you.
J.D.: Cool!

Quote from My Hard Labor

J.D.: Look, I think you're amazing, right? I have I have mentioned that. And... And even though I'm not you know, in love with you right now, I really hope that one day I wake up feeling what you said you feel, even though I kinda asked you not to say it.
Kim: Do you really hope that?
J.D.: With all my heart.
Kim: Because I always dreamed of finding a guy who hoped he can fall in love with me, someday.
J.D.: Really? That's kind of weird.
Kim: No! J.D.? Do you actually think that's enough for me? There are a lot of guys out there who think I'm a good catch. The words "Cute as a button" have been thrown around on more than one occasion.
J.D.: I know that, Kim, you're amazing.
Kim: Stop calling me amazing, okay?!

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