Carla: Why aren't you out on the beach?
Turk: Because Daddy came to seduce you. But for me to get my sexy mode, I'm gonna need you to take off the hat and stop picking your toes. [grimaces and groans] It's alright, I'll push through it. Baby, look. Izzy's not here. And this is the Bahamas. The islands of making love. You, me, the ocean. Underwater relations.
Carla: Lead the way. [cellphone rings] That's the nanny. This'll just take a second.
Turk: Okay. It's cool. I'm gonna head down to the water. It'll be just like our honeymoon. Nobody will see what we're doing except for the mermaids.
Carla: Baby, for the last time, mermaids aren't real.
Turk: I know what I saw, woman!

Turk: Baby, you know why I love the Bahamas? They got brothers on the money, check it. Don't that look like Uncle Dottie?

Elliot: Here you go, Sammy. I know I was supposed to drop Sam off in daycare, but the only other kid there was a creepy little girl with freckles.
J.D.: Please don't give my son your prejudice of redheads.
Elliot: They're god's mistakes, J.D., accept it.

J.D.: [v.o.] Spring was in the air and everyone was getting caught up in it. Whether it was a new romance.
Lady: Have you ever been in love before?
Janitor: Once. She was a janitor. Well, for her the mop always came first, you know. And I was fine, until one day, I come home from work early and there they are, in bed. They were just cuddling, but still, you know. It was really the emotional betrayal that makes it hard to talk about. But you've changed all of that for me.

Carla: We can't go, Turk. We'd never left Izzy alone before.
Turk: Baby, separation is healthy. You want to know what happens to kids who are too close to their mothers? They end up like that.
Ted: [on the phone] Well, Mom, when I'm gone, I guess your feet will just have to rub themselves!
Carla: Ted has his own room now. He only sleeps with his mom when he's had a bad dream. Or she has.

Elliot: I'm in.
J.D.: Awesome. Think about it, Elliot. Three days and you're walking on the beach in your bikini. [Elliot spits out her donut] That's sexy.
Elliot: Shut up.
[As Elliot throws the rest of her donut in the trash, Jordan catches it.]
Jordan: Cool. What? I know I have to be in a bathing suit. Hey, Feldman! Fire up the fat vac! Mama need some lipo.

Turk: Dude. We are in for the Bahamas. Upstairs! [they bump chests]
J.D.: Downstairs. [they bump crotches]
Turk: I still don't like downstairs.
J.D.: Really? You haven't come around yet?

Jordan: Excuse me, when you're done with that phone, may I borrow it to call my kids?
Dr. Cox: Really?
Jordan: No.
Dr. Cox: Did you even bother to tell the babysitter she has to stay overnight this weekend?
Jordan: She'll figure it out.

Dr. Kelso: Ted, wait here for my bag.
J.D.: Got enough sunscreen on there, Ted?
Ted: I go through a tube about every three hours. [slurping sound] My skin drinks it.

J.D.: [v.o.] We loved our hotel room, but then Elliot saw something that made her skin crawl.
Redhead Kid: Here's the towels you wanted.
Elliot: Thanks, sweety. [the kid leaves] There's no way I'm using those after that little redhead freak touched them. I can smell his freckles.
J.D.: I can't believe you hid this hatred from me for seven years.
Elliot: Deal with it.