Scrubs Quotes

Scrubs

Scrubs

Scrubs follows a group of medical students, J.D., Elliot and Turk, as they begin work at Sacred Heart teaching hospital.

Starring: Zach Braff, Sarah Chalke, Donald Faison, Neil Flynn, Ken Jenkins, John C. McGinley, Judy Reyes.
Recurring Actors: Robert Maschio, Sam Lloyd, Aloma Wright, Christa Miller, Johnny Kastl, Nicole Sullivan, Heather Graham, Tom Cavanagh, Elizabeth Banks, Eliza Coupe, Kerry Bishé, Michael Mosley, Dave Franco.
Original Run: 2001-2010.

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Quote from Dr. Cox in My Tormented Mentor

J.D.: So, uh, Jordan seems to be doing pretty well.
Dr. Cox: You know Jordan, she is a rock.
J.D.: How 'bout you? How you holding up? [Dr. Cox is silent] I know it's been kind of tough with Ben dying. Are you gonna talk ever?
Dr. Cox: Let me go ahead and tee this up for you, there, Anneka. We are all going to die someday. For the lucky few of us it'll be nice and fast. But for most of us it'll be just as long and slow and painful as a conversation with you.
J.D.: That's a beautiful sentiment.

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Quote from Turk in My Advice to You

J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!

Quote from Janitor in My First Day

Janitor: The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
J.D.: Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.

Quote from Dr. Cox in My Student

J.D.: [v.o.] It's hard trying to figure out how to reach somebody. I guess the thing I can do is to think of someone I look up to, and remember how they got through to me.
Dr. Cox: Newbie, the only way you could be less productive right now is if you were in fact the wall on which you're leaning. Of course, then you'd be providing some jackass with a wall on which to lean against and reflect on what a jackass he truly is. I know. Here it's a conundrum.

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Quote from Turk in My Advice to You

J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!

Quote from Janitor in My First Day

Janitor: The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
J.D.: Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.

Quote from Dr. Kelso in My Best Moment

[Dr. Kelso reminisces about his best moment in medicine: He is surrounded by two women on a tropical island convention for Plomox:]
Waiter: Excuse me, sir. A man just fainted over there! Are you a doctor?
Dr. Kelso: Not this weekend, son. Another Bahama mama, please. Easy on the Bahama, heavy on the mama! How you doin'?
[present:]
Turk: Dr. Kelso, I know you told Carla to bounce Mr. Milligan to County, but it's Christmas. So what do you say?
Dr. Kelso: I'd say get me a 3T form. 3T... What's that?
Dr. Kelso: That's tough titties, Turkleton!