Scrubs Quotes

Scrubs

Scrubs

Scrubs follows a group of medical students, J.D., Elliot and Turk, as they begin work at Sacred Heart teaching hospital.

Starring: Zach Braff, Sarah Chalke, Donald Faison, Neil Flynn, Ken Jenkins, John C. McGinley, Judy Reyes.
Recurring Actors: Robert Maschio, Sam Lloyd, Aloma Wright, Christa Miller, Johnny Kastl, Nicole Sullivan, Heather Graham, Tom Cavanagh, Elizabeth Banks, Eliza Coupe, Kerry Bishé, Michael Mosley, Dave Franco.
Original Run: 2001-2010.

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Quote from Kim in My Urologist

Kim: Mr. Peters, I looked at your CT scan and I recommend we don't do surgery.
Mr. Peters: Great.
Kim: This is goodbye for us, but I'm leaving you in the capable hands of Dr. John D. Dorian. You take care. [to J.D.] I gave you a new middle initial. It reassures patients for some reason. In my mind, the "D" stands for "Dallas" because I just got finished telling Mr. Peters that's where I lost my virginity. Don't know how we got down that path. Something about that old man just makes me want to open up.

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Quote from Turk in My Advice to You

J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!

Quote from Janitor in My First Day

Janitor: The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
J.D.: Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.

Quote from Dr. Cox in My Student

J.D.: [v.o.] It's hard trying to figure out how to reach somebody. I guess the thing I can do is to think of someone I look up to, and remember how they got through to me.
Dr. Cox: Newbie, the only way you could be less productive right now is if you were in fact the wall on which you're leaning. Of course, then you'd be providing some jackass with a wall on which to lean against and reflect on what a jackass he truly is. I know. Here it's a conundrum.

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Quote from Turk in My Advice to You

J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!

Quote from Janitor in My First Day

Janitor: The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
J.D.: Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.

Quote from J.D. in My Last Words

J.D.: [v.o.] I don't have time for Jo, because once a year, Turk and I go to a great steakhouse and have the most bro-mantic night ever.
Turk: Dude!
J.D.: [v.o.] And that magical evening was finally here.
Both: Steak Night!
Turk: Give me some of that.
Ed: How come I don't know about that super-tight new greeting? Steak Night!
J.D.: It's not a greeting, Ed.
Ed: It is now. Sean!
Ed & Sean: Steak Night!
J.D.: How does he start things so quickly?
Turk: He is very talented.
Ed: May your mushrooms always be sauted and your onions always be grilled. Gravy, fellas!
Turk: Gravy, Ed.
J.D.: Cream spinach, yo!
Turk: No.