That '70s Show Quotes
- Episodes
- Season 1
- Season 2
- Season 3
- 301 Reefer Madness
- 302 Red Sees Red
- 303 Hyde's Father
- 304 Too Old to Trick or Treat, Too Young to Die
- 305 Roller Disco
- 306 Eric's Panties
- 307 Baby Fever
- 308 Jackie Bags Hyde
- 309 Hyde's Christmas Rager
- 310 Ice Shack
- 311 Who Wants It More?
- 312 Fez Gets the Girl
- 313 Dine and Dash
- 314 Radio Daze
- 315 Donna's Panties
- 316 Romantic Weekend
- 317 Kitty's Birthday (Is That Today?!)
- 318 The Trials of Michael Kelso
- 319 Eric's Naughty No-No
- 320 Holy Craps!
- 321 Fez Dates Donna
- 322 Eric's Drunken Tattoo
- 323 Canadian Road Trip
- 324 Backstage Pass
- 325 The Promise Ring
- Season 4
- Season 5
- Season 6
- Season 7
- Season 8
That '70s Show
A group of teenage friends enjoy the final years of the '70s in small-town Wisconsin.
Starring:
Topher Grace, Mila Kunis, Ashton Kutcher, Danny Masterson, Laura Prepon, Wilmer Valderrama, Debra Jo Rupp, Kurtwood Smith, Don Stark.
Recurring Actors:
Tanya Roberts, Lisa Robin Kelly, Tommy Chong.
Original Run: 1998-2006.
Quote of the Day
Quote from Kelso in Man with Money
Hyde: I mean, how does Bob pull all these foxes like Midge and Pam? He's got to have something the ladies can't resist. Hey, Donna, you ever see your dad naked?
Donna: Oh, my God! Can we please talk about anything besides that?
Fez: You're way off, Hyde. Women love Bob for his sense of humor. That sucker is funnier than a Dixie cup.
Kelso: No. All right, how it works is relationships are based on a point system. All right, see, Pam is good-looking. So that's 20 points. And Bob, he's like the nicest guy in the world. So that's like, what? Like a point. But Bob's got money, and that's 19 points. And altogether that's 20. Now, you add the whole thing together, and that's 40, which is incidentally almost half my score.
Popular Quotes
Quote from Red in That '70s Finale
Kelso: Oh, Mr. Forman, can I light this off in your house?
Red: Sure and then I'll light my foot off in your ass.
Hyde: And that, my friends, is the last "foot-in-ass" of the decade. Cheers.
Kitty: Michael, it is so good to see you. The girls in the emergency room were just asking about you.
Kelso: You know, it's like I've been gone for so long, I almost forgot you're a hot mom.
Kitty: Oh! [giggles]
Red: You know what else is hot? My foot when it's in your ass.
Hyde: Look at that. He had one more in him.
Quote from Kitty in Killer Queen
Kitty: Okay, what were you two talking about?
Red: Well, Kitty, I had a stash of gifts down there for every occasion. That way, if I forgot to buy you something, I'd still be covered.
Kitty: You buy my gifts in bulk?
Red: No, it's more of a vast inventory of love.
Kitty: Well, you're about to get a vast inventory of my foot in your ass! Yeah! I can do that too!
Quote from Red in Till the Next Goodbye
Red: I can't believe that is what you idiots have been doing in my basement all these years!
[The background behind Red and Kitty sways as Eric stares at them]
Red: I wish I had 2,000 feet so I could put 500 of them in each of your asses!
Quote Collections
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“Red Forman: My Foot in Your Ass”
A collection of quotes featuring Red Forman's favorite threat, "my foot in your ass".
34 quotes
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A collection of quotes featuring Fez's catchphrase, "I said good day".
14 quotes
-
A collection of quotes featuring Red Forman's insult of choice, "dumbass".
36 quotes
-
A collection of the best burns, usually pointed out by Kelso.
36 quotes
-
A collection of quotes featuring Fez's favorite insult, "you son of a bitch".
19 quotes
Trending Quotes
Quote from Kitty in Sheer Heart Attack
Kitty: Red, do you need anything from the supermarket?
Red: Yeah. Graham Crackers that don't taste like cardboard. I fought in two wars. I deserve name-brand cookies.
Kitty: Well, those are name-brand. Look at the box, there's the Kubler Dwarves.
Quote from Red in I Can't Quit You, Baby
Eric: Look, Dad, I need my car. Don't you remember when you were in high school? I bet you had some good times driving around senior year with your friends.
Red: My senior year, I was driving a gunboat around Okinawa. And if you count the Japanese snipers as my friends... then, yes, I had some good times.
Kitty: You have to understand, Eric. It's not that your father's trying to be a bad guy. It's just that he's been irreparably damaged by war.
Quote from Red in The Velvet Rope
Red: [inner monologue] Hi. Red Forman. Experienced, loyal, hard-working. Yeah.
[Red walks into the waiting room and sees a bunch of middle-aged men in suits just like him]
All: Hey! That's Red!
Red: It's all you guys from the, uh... From the plant, huh? So, we're all going after the same job. Well. That's, uh... That's terrific.
Dale: Boy, I wish I had your confidence, Red. I got nothing. All I can think to do is tell this guy I'm experienced, loyal, and hard-working.
Red: [inner monologue] Son of a bitch!