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‘Class Picture’ Quotes Page 1 of 3    

That '70s Show: Class Picture

420. Class Picture

Aired March 19, 2002

Eric and friends reminisce about how they all met as they wait to have their class picture taken.

Quote from Fez

[flashback to 1976:]
Fez: [o.s.] Help. Americans, please help me.
Eric: What was that?
Kelso: It's coming from in here.
[When Kelso opens a supply closet door, Fez is hanging from the coat hook on the back of the door while holding a ball]
Fez: Oh, hello.
Hyde: Who the hell are you?
Fez: I am the new foreign exchange student. The football team asked me if I wanted to "hang out." I shouldn't have said yes. I can't feel my legs. [Kelso takes the ball]
Eric: What are you gonna do?
Kelso: I'm gonna chuck it at him.
Hyde: No, man. Leave him alone. [frees Fez from the hook] Look, man, if those jocks try to do this to you again, just come find me.
Fez: Thanks. You are my best friend. Let's hold hands.
Hyde: Uh, no. Let's go. [Fez follows Hyde] I'm Hyde.
Eric: I'm Eric.
Fez: Oh, you're the one that loves Donna.
Eric: I do not!
Fez: Well, my name is- [school bell rings]
Hyde: Okay, I'm not gonna remember that.

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Quote from Kelso

Eric: God, I can actually see this thing growing. It's like... Jiffy Pop.
Kelso: My friend once, he had this really big zit. And he tried to pop it and all the pus went into his brain, and it killed him.
Donna: Really, Kelso? What friend?
Kelso: You didn't know him.
Donna: That's 'cause he doesn't exist.
Kelso: 'Cause he's dead now!

Quote from Jackie

Jackie: People, we are losing focus here. Well, what is our quote gonna be? And let's remember, our goal is to have it be about me.

Quote from Hyde

Kelso: I got it! I got the quote! "What a long, strange trip it's been in Forman's basement." [all chuckle]
Donna: Yeah. We have made a lot of memories in that basement.
Hyde: Too bad we can't remember any of 'em.

Quote from Jackie

Jackie: No, seriously. The only thing more important than your yearbook picture is your yearbook quote.
Kelso: Ah, I already got that covered. My quote's gonna be, "What a long, strange trip it's been." Yeah, that's freakin' profound.
Eric: Kelso, every lame-o hippie in the history of time has used that quote.
Kelso: Well, yeah. That's 'cause it's good.
Jackie: No, Michael. Your quote has to be meaningful so you can remember the good times when you're, like, 30, with no reason left to live.
Donna: Okay, hidden in Jackie's extremely disturbing thought is a grain of truth. We need a really good quote this year.
Jackie: Well, all the best quotes are about things that mean a lot to you. Like, for example, me. Or my hair, or my personality or the sparkle I bring to your dull, gray lives.
Hyde: Or the feeling of relief we get when you leave the room.

Quote from Eric

Eric: No. You know what? We need a quote about all of us. Like, maybe like how we all met.
Donna: Remember how we first met?
Fez: Oh, is this a sexy story?
Donna: It's really more sad than sexy.
Eric: Yeah.
Hyde: That's pretty much how it goes for you, isn't it?
Eric: Yeah.

Quote from Red

[flashback to 1968:]
Kitty: Okay, now, got your brownies for the new neighbors, Eric?
Young Eric: Yes, Mommy.
Kitty: How do I look?
Red: Well, you got a little something-
Kitty: Don't touch it! I had to sleep sitting up to keep it like this.
Red: Well, I just hope these new neighbors are better than the last one. That Gus Griffin was a complete dumbass.
Bob: Hiya, neighbors.
Kitty: Well, hello. We were just coming to welcome you.
Bob: Looks like we beat you to the punchity-punch. [punches Red in the arm]
Red: Oh, damn.

Quote from Hyde

[flashback to 1968:]
Young Eric: Thanks for walking me home, Steven. That redheaded girl hits really hard.
Young Hyde: Some advice? Never let a girl stand on your head like that. Bad for the rep.
Young Eric: Okay, Steven.
Young Hyde: And it's Hyde.
Young Eric: Thanks, Hyde. Hey, wouldn't it be funny if my last name was Seek? You know, Hyde and Seek!
Young Hyde: That's stupid. And you owe me a quarter.
Kitty: Well, now. Who do we have here?
Young Eric: This is Hyde.
Kitty: Oh, you have a new little friend. Red, get the camera.
Young Hyde: I'm not his friend. I'm a hired gun.
Red: Kitty, don't embarrass the boy.
Kitty: Oh, don't be silly. It's nice to have a new friend. Especially one who's so dirty! [chuckles] You know what's fun?
[cut to Eric and Hyde taking a bath together:]
Red: I'm sorry, Son.
Young Hyde: If you ever tell anyone about this, I'll kill you.
[present:]
Hyde: Now I have to kill you.

Quote from Eric

Jackie: You guys, look at Eric's last-year's picture.
Hyde: The famous makeup-covered zit.
Eric: Look, I just wanted one year of clear skin to remember. And if that means breaking out the old powder puff so be it.
Donna: You've never really had a zit-free picture.
Jackie: Remember the one on his nose?
Fez: Oh, and the one on his lip?
Donna: And the one on the one on his lip?
Hyde: And the one we thought was a second little alien Eric growing out of his cheek?
Kelso: [deep voice] I mean no harm to your planet. I will attack if you attempt to pop me.
Hyde: Ah, zits.
[montage of Eric's yearbook photos, including a growing list of nicknames: "Foreplay, Foreskin, Zitty Stardust, Pimply Longstocking, Little Orphan Acne"]
Eric: Hey, those days are over, okay? I'm zit-free this year, and you want to know why? I have become a man. [all laugh] No, I'm serious. I am man. I am zitless. Hear me roar. That should be our yearbook quote.

Quote from Fez

Donna: Okay, stop goofing around. We need to think of a better memory.
Fez: What about the day I met you? All of you.
[flashback to 1976:]
Hyde: You're gonna like Donna. She's pretty cool, man.
[When Hyde opens Donna's bedroom door, she was removing her bath robe]
Donna: Hyde!
Hyde: Wow! Sorry. Wow!
Kelso: [o.s.] What?
Fez: You're right. I like her.
Kelso: No, wait. I didn't see. Wait! [knocks on door] Donna?
[present:]
Fez: Now, that's a good memory. Or should I say "mammary"?

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