Hyde: Where the hell is Forman, man? This isn't like him.
Kelso: I'm really starting to get worried. I mean, what if something happened to him?
Hyde: Nothing happened to him.
Kelso: What if he's lost or hurt somewhere?
Hyde: Calm down, Lassie, I'm sure Timmy's just fine.
Kelso: Maybe we should check the school morgue.
Hyde: Kelso, the school doesn't have a morgue.
Kelso: Then what do we pay all those taxes for?
Hyde: You know what kills me? You do better in school than I do.

Fez: They're finally getting off the island.
Eric: No, Fez, they're not getting off the island.
Fez: But they have a coconut radio. What could go wrong? Oh, Gilligan ["Jill-igan"].

Red: Well, it's got stainless steel rotor blades so it can crush ice, which is why I keep it out here at the bar. Um... And it has the highest wattage that you can get without moving up to the industrial model which would cost you twice as much.
Kitty: Well, now, see, we have had this blender all these years and I never knew that's why we bought it.
Red: You didn't know that? How could you not know that?
Kitty: Oh, Red, everybody doesn't research every product before they buy it.
Red: Well, then they're dumbasses.
Kitty: Well, that's right. And that's why they need you to tell them what to buy.

Bob: Here you go, Red. Your very first paycheck.
Red: Thanks, Bob. You know, I... I really appreciate the job.
Bob: Yeah, I just wish you had a commission check in there.
Red: Well, I haven't sold a damn thing.
Bob: Yet. But if I paid people for almost selling something you'd be rich. But I don't. So you're not.

Donna: Where's Buddy?
Eric: Oh, Buddy? [gulps] Well, Buddy got busy.
Jackie: Yeah, I mean, I'm sure he has a lot to do. He is popular.
Fez: Yes, and so obviously gay.
Jackie: Buddy is not gay!
Kelso: Please, Fez. That's just stupid. If Buddy was gay, he would have been all over me. [off their looks] Well, he would've.

Red: Hi. May I help you?
Woman: Yes. I'd like to buy a refrigerator.
Red: Well, what kind of refrigerator would you like?
Woman: I don't know.
Red: Okay. What kind of features are you looking for?
Woman: I'd like it to be cold.
Red: Yeah. Well, how many cubic feet of food does your family consume in a week?
Woman: Gee, I don't know. I do know I like Harvest Gold.
Red: See, well, now there's your first mistake. Now, color is the last thing that you want to consider. You see, I can't sell you something if you don't know what you really want.
Woman: Yes. It was wrong of me to walk in here, ready to write a check. But thanks.

Kelso: I'm worried, man.
Hyde: Okay, fine. Let's just be logical, right? I mean, Forman's not gonna just ditch us. The Cruiser's battery is probably dead or something.
Kelso: You know what? It's starting to get late. Maybe we should just start walking?
Hyde: No, no, no. I'm not walking. If God wanted us to walk, he wouldn't have given us Forman.

Jackie: Oh, my God. That's Buddy Morgan.
Donna: Oh, man, I had such a crush on him in seventh grade.
Fez: He is driving the fiery chariot of the sun god.

Jackie: He's with Eric? This is a serious clique breach.
Donna: A serious clique breach? Well, that's the worst kind.
Jackie: You see, Buddy is in the rich kid clique. They mingle with the jock clique. Then you have your smokers and your heads. Okay? Rich kids can be smokers, and jocks can be heads but jocks cannot be smokers, unless they're rich.
Donna: What about Larry Mosely? He's a rich, jock, smoker, head.
Jackie: Okay, well, now you're just being difficult.

Eric: Hey, guys. Buddy, you know everyone. Right?
Buddy: Hi. No, I don't think we've actually met.
Fez: No, I am Fez.
Buddy: Hi.
Fez: My gosh, Buddy, with a car like that, you must be knee deep in whores.