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Season 7, Episode 11 -  Aired December 15, 2004

Kelso steals a bunch of toys intended for the children of the town. Meanwhile, Kitty is in charge of the Ladies of Point Place Christmas party.

Quote from Eric

Fez: I just don't feel right about taking these toys away from kids.
Eric: Oh, but, Fez, this could be the Christmas that I never had. My parents wouldn't get me cool stuff when I was a kid. Every year, I got a raincoat. And then, to make sure it worked, we had to go outside and Red would spray me with the hose.


Quote from Hyde

Hyde: Yeah, Fez. What about my Christmas, man? I mean, I'd wake up in the morning, rush out in my PJs, and find what strange man Santa had left laying underneath my mother.

Quote from Kitty

Kitty: Okay, girls, time to get to the party.
Donna: Well, Jackie, look, I think Eric and Hyde are feeling the pressures of life, and they want to have one last blowout.
Jackie: Okay, Steven does not need a blowout, he needs a kick in the nads.
Kitty: It's Christmas. At holiday time, we say, "He needs a kick in the sleigh bells."

Quote from Jackie

Bob: Tell you what. Santa will bring you the bike for Christmas if you go bring Santa a hoagie. [boy runs off] You know what I'd really like for Christmas? Patty Ryals.
Jackie: All you men ever think about is what you want. What about what we want? Boys never grow up. You know, one minute they agree to go to a party with you, and the next, they're in a basement full of stolen toys. And you're no better. Sitting there pretending to be Santa Claus.
Boy: You're not Santa Claus?
Donna: No. No, no, he is. He is, it's just that she is the evil Ice Witch. Come on, let's get you some grown-up punch.

Quote from Red

Red: "Blood ran like a river that day on Heartbreak Ridge. Hundreds of soldiers had given their lives and limbs trying to take..." Trying to take the North Pole. " The North Koreans... " [clears throat] The North Pole Korean elves were weary from heat on that sun-baked..." Snowy Christmas Eve.

Quote from Kelso

Kelso: Guys, check it out. Somebody just left all these toys at the police station. Guess they figured, if cops have something to play with, then we won't stress out and accidentally shoot somebody.
Eric: Or, and stay with me here, Inspector Meathead, maybe these toys are for the toy drive.
Hyde: Yeah, Kelso, these toys are probably all those needy kids get on Christmas morning. Holy crap, is that an Evel Knievel stunt cycle?
Eric: Oh, my God, let's set it up!
Kelso: Oh, oh, oh. We have to find something for Evel Knievel to crash into, like something funny.
Eric: Fez, lie down over here and close your eyes.
Kelso: Oh, man, I feel just like a kid on, like... I don't know, like, some morning where kids get to open a lot of presents.

Quote from Eric

Fez: Guys, I don't feel right about this.
Eric: Oh, buddy, we're not gonna aim it at your head.
Fez: No, I'm not worried about my head.
Hyde: Awesome. He's not worried about his head? Let's aim it at his head.

Quote from Jackie

Kitty: Thanks for helping me with my Christmas party, girls. You know, this is the most important event of the year for the Ladies of Point Place, or as we like to call ourselves, the LOPPs. [laughs]
Jackie: You know, the LOPPs are known for being super stuck-up and totally two-faced. I can't wait till I get in.

Quote from Hyde

Hyde: Hey, Mrs. Forman? I need, like, a buttload of batteries.
Kitty: What for?
Hyde: Oh, um, Kelso wants to see how badly he can shock himself.
Kitty: Oh, okay. They're in the drawer.

Quote from Hyde

Jackie: Oh, hey, Steven, don't forget about the Ladies of Point Place party tonight.
Hyde: Oh, yeah. I forgot. Um, I can't go. Something more important came up.
Jackie: But you promised you'd go.
Hyde: Jackie, if I promised, I clearly wasn't listening. Which you should've known, so this is your fault.
Jackie: I can't believe Steven. He knows this is a big deal to me, and he doesn't even care.
Donna: Jackie, don't be so hard on him. I know it's a big deal to you and I don't care.

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