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‘Leaving Home Ain't Easy’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

That '70s Show: Leaving Home Ain't Easy

820. Leaving Home Ain't Easy

Aired May 11, 2006

Jackie is out for revenge after Fez rebuffed her advances. Bob announces that he is moving to Florida.

Quote from Bob

Red: Bob, I'm sorry that I said that your idea is stupid.
Kitty: And?
Red: And... The next time you have a stupid idea, I'll just keep my mouth shut.
Bob: You know what, Red? I really don't give a damn what you think. All these years I've had to put up with you cutting me down, calling me dumbass. Well, guess what? You're the dumbass! You're nothing but a cranky [bleep] who thinks his [bleep] don't stink, so you can blow it out your [bleep] ass! What? What, you want to hit me? Go ahead, you bald [bleep]. Yeah, go ahead, do it! I'm not afraid of you. In fact, I'll kick your bony [bleep] ass right now!
Red: Bob, you've got some nerve! Good for you! It's about time you stuck up for yourself and acted like a man.
Bob: I'm sorry, Red, it just slipped out. [hugs Red]

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Quote from Fez

Hyde: Damn, man, that was harsh.
Fez: Yeah. It must have been my Jamaican Fire.
Hyde: So, you're from Jamaica?
Fez: No, Jamaican Fire. It's my new cologne.

Quote from Red

Red: You were in Florida?
Bob: Yeah, I was gone for three weeks. You didn't notice?
Red: I just figured my migraine medicine was working.

Quote from Fez

Fez: No, she told me she wanted to be my girlfriend and I turned her down.
Hyde: What? Why?
Fez: Because she didn't mean it. She never wanted me before. And now that she's desperate, suddenly I'm the guy for her. But as soon as she's happy, she'll dump me. So I told her to get lost and now she's in tears.
Hyde: Well, what kind of crying is it? Is it like "My life is over" kind of crying or hysterical sobbing like the time Kelso sat on his nads?
Fez: No, it's bad. I tried everything to get her out. I yelled, "Fire!" I made monkey-noises and said, "Wow, that's a gigantic monkey." But no luck. She must be a complete wreck.

Quote from Hyde

Fez: Jackie, you're okay?
Jackie: Oh, no. No, I'm not okay. I just decided being sad is a waste of time. Yeah, see a more productive use of my time is revenge. So get ready. Because I am going to rain doom down on your stupid foreign head! [exits]
Hyde: That didn't seem so bad, Fez. I wouldn't worry about it.
Randy: You wouldn't?
Hyde: No. That's because I'm safe. You should be friggin' terrified.

Quote from Red

Bob: Boy, it was beautiful down there. The ocean, the sunshine, and Disneyworld is a great place to pick up single moms. In fact, I like Florida so much, I'm selling the house and I'm moving there.
Kitty: You're selling your house? What if someone annoying moves in?
Bob: I bought a condo. And get ready for this, I'm gonna open a bait shop.
Red: What a great idea. That way, when the hundreds of other bait shops down there run out of stock, there you'll be.
Bob: So you think I'm stupid because I want to open a bait shop?
Red: No, of course not. I think you want to open a bait shop because you're stupid.
Bob: Well, I didn't come in here to be ridiculed.
Red: Then you shouldn't have worn that shirt. [exits]
Kitty: Red, you need to go over there and apologize to Bob. He came here all excited about his idea and you just made him feel bad about himself.
Red: Yeah, he never saw it coming.

Quote from Fez

Hyde: So did you get Jackie back for flushing your toothbrush down the toilet?
Fez: No. Only four out of five dentists recommend brushing so I just go to the other guy.
Hyde: How about for microwaving your hand lotion?
Fez: No, the heat feels nice on my... hands.
Hyde: Well, what are you gonna do to her for ripping all the buttons off your shirt?
Fez: Thank her. I look fabulous!

Quote from Hyde

Hyde: Man, what is wrong with you? She tore your shirt for easy access. When Jackie gets angry, she goes straight for the nipple.
Fez: Hyde, I turned her down. She has every right to be angry. But the worst of it is over, so I'm gonna let bygones be bygones.
Hyde: Fez, let me tell you a little story. Once upon a time there was a young girl named Jackie. She destroyed everything in her path because she was Satan's child. The end.
Fez: Ah, I see your point. Wait, what's your point?
Hyde: My point is, she's evil, man. You gotta get back at her. You gotta fight fire with fire.
Fez: Now you're suggesting I set her on fire? What has happened to you?

Quote from Hyde

Hyde: I'm just saying every time Jackie hurts you, you gotta hurt her worse.
Fez: I don't know, that sounds like a senseless cycle of violence.
Hyde: Yeah. That's the best and funniest kind.

Quote from Fez

Fez: Look, this whole thing will blow over once I talk to her about everything. Holy crap! My car! Jackie ruined my car!
Hyde: And you don't have insurance. [chuckles] Good one, Jackie.
Fez: And look what she wrote on the side. Fez, has a tiny... I do not! It's perfectly normal, based on all the other ones I've seen. I only look for comparison. If Jackie wants war, I'll give her war.
Hyde: Whatever you say, tiny.
Fez: If it's so small, why would I name it Big John?

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