‘Hyde's Father’
Season 3, Episode 3 - Aired October 17, 2000
Hyde is reunited with his absentee father. Meanwhile, Donna discovers Eric's stash of nudey magazines, and Fez tries to be appealing to Jackie.
Quote from Leo
Leo: Oh, wow, man. Look at all these different nuts intermingling in one bowl. It's like "Nutstock," man.
Red: Kitty, I think we should rethink our "Don't Throw Leo Out On His Ass" policy.
Quote from Fez
Eric: All right. They didn't even check our fake I.D.'s.
Fez: And I wasted a whole day thinking up my fake name.
Hyde: Yeah. Sorry, "Pez."
Quote from Kitty
Kitty: Red, when we took that boy into our home, it became our job to see him through thick and thin. And now it's thick - or thin, I don't know - but he needs us.
Quote from Kelso
Bud Hyde: So, fellas, school let out early?
Kelso: Yeah. We're just-
Eric: Kelso, shut up.
Kelso: Uh, I mean, no. No, we're old. We're workers. We're all construction workers. Hey, fellas, did you see that brick today? Whoo!
Quote from Fez
Kelso: Hello! [chuckles] She is just my type: naked.
Fez: I, too, like the naked ladies. I find them so... naked.
Donna: Yeah, that's realistic. I think I'm gonna change the oil in my car, but first I'm gonna take off everything but my cowboy boots.
Eric: Well, sure, I mean if you're in bare feet, you could slip in the oil. Come on, Donna. Safety first.
Kelso: Whoa! Surefire ways to pick up women. [scoffs] What kind of lonely losers read this stuff anyway?
Fez: Gimme. "Look deep into her eyes, and use her name often showing that this conversation is just for her." [clears throat] Hey, Donna. I think they're onto something, Donna. What do you think, Donna?
Donna: Oh, my God. I'm taking off my shirt. Stop it, hands! Stop it!
[Fez gives two thumbs up to Kelso]
Quote from Eric
Kitty: Well, Steven, honey, you haven't touched your sandwich. You feel okay?
Hyde: Yeah. I'm just not hungry.
Laurie: Oh, Steven. Are you finally tired of freeloading?
Kitty: Can it, Laurie.
Laurie: All I'm saying is Daddy works really hard and nothing here is cheap.
Eric: Except you. [Hyde laughs]
Laurie: Believe me. I'm not cheap.
Eric: Fine. "Free." Whatever.
Quote from Leo
Leo: Hey, honey, I'm home.
Red: Oh, good. The hippie's here.
Leo: Hyde, man, your dad come by lookin' for you, man. Which is really freaky 'cause I thought this bald dude was your dad.
Quote from Red
Kitty: Well, I'm gonna talk to Steven and see how he's feeling about this.
Eric: You know what, Mom? I wouldn't do that. Hyde likes to bottle those things up.
Red: Good for him. That's where those feelings should be kept.
Kitty: Well, what is he gonna do? Pretend he doesn't have a father?
Red: Kitty, this is a family issue, and, for once, it's not about our family. Look, the bond between a father and a son is... complex and subtle. [to Eric] You wipe that damn smirk off your face!
Quote from Fez
Fez: Hello, Jackie. How are you, Jackie?
Jackie: Fine.
Fez: I'm glad, Jackie. I, too, am fine, Jackie.
Jackie: Do I have a sty?
Fez: No, Jackie. You, Jackie, do not have a sty. Jackie.
Jackie: Okay, Fez. I don't know what you're doing, Fez, but stop doing it, Fez.
Fez: Oh, no. Now I am turned on.