Kitty: Okay, here you go. Egg whites only. No yolks, they're bad for you.
Red: But the yellow part is the baby bird. That's the part I wanna eat.
Kitty: Sorry. Too much cholesterol. Which also means no bacon. Just good old heart-healthy ham.
Eric: Mmm. Bacon. That is so good. That is so much better than ham.

Eric: Oh, my God, Donna. Madison has a course called "The Social Significance of Jedi Culture."

Doctor: [to Red] What you need to do is focus on things that make you happy.
Eric: Okay, but I don't know where we're gonna find a boatload of dead commies.

Kitty: Okay, now... Get you upstairs for your nap, and, Eric, he needs quiet, so no shenanigans.
Eric: Mom, please. I haven't shenaniganed in about six years. I've hooliganed. I've no-goodniked. I've ne'er-done-well. Just yesterday, I caught myself rabble-rousing...
Red: Will you shut up!

Eric: They can't do this to me. They cannot do this to me. I got to get out of here. Of all the people in the history of the world that have ever had to get anywhere, it is me having to get the hell out of here! I have to go! ... I have to stay. Donna, I'm sorry.
Donna: Sorry? Eric, I think it's amazing that you'd do that for your family. And, you know, we'll see each other on weekends.
Eric: Oh, so you're still going?
Donna: Well... Yeah, I mean... Yeah.
Eric: Yeah. No. Of course.
Donna: Oh, come on. I think I know something that might make you feel better. [they kiss]
Eric: Hey, um... Can we just like... Could we just sit for a while?
Donna: Yeah, sure.
Fez: [comes out of the shower] Sit for a while? If I hadn't found this bacon, I'd be really pissed off.

Bob: I heard voices.
Donna: Oh, that was me, you know, greeting this beautiful morning.
Bob: Uh-huh. [opens closet door] Get out. May I ask why you're wearing my daughter's blouse?
Eric: I thought you'd be mad if I was nude.
Bob: Oh, what the hell?
Eric: Fez?
Donna: Oh, my God! Did you see anything?
Fez: Not much. You should really think about a night-light.

Kelso: Yeah, it's a sweatband. I'm wearing sweatbands now.
Hyde: What are you doing?
Kelso: Well, police academy starts in a week, so I gotta get in shape. So I'm eating raw eggs, like Rocky.
Hyde: Kelso, Rocky ate raw eggs 'cause he was training for a fight. If he was training to be a cop, he'd just flunk out of high school and grow a bad mustache.
Kelso: Oh, I'm growing the bad mustache.

Kelso: Forman, just 'cause there's a sale at Penney's doesn't mean you gotta buy everything.
Hyde: Hey, Fez, you're supposed to bring your date home, then take her pants off.
Eric: Fellas, I'm afraid your little jokes don't bother me, because soon I will be starting my new life in Madison, where if I so choose, I can wear ladies' clothes all I want.
Fez: Really? Where is this Madison? [off their looks] So I can go there and kick their dress-wearing asses. Guys, come on. I'm all man. I'm married to Eric's slutty sister.
Kelso: Yeah, how's that going?
Fez: Oh, not great, but I'm pretty sure when Laurie gets back from our honeymoon in Cancun, things will pick up.
Hyde: Laurie went on your honeymoon alone?
Fez: Oh, no. That would be crazy. She took her friend Carlos along to keep an eye on her. But I paid for both of them, so everyone knows who the man is in this deal.

Jackie: Hello, boys. It is me, the objects of your desire.
Kelso: Hey, Jackie.
Hyde: So, Jackie, did you choose between me and Kelso yet?
Jackie: I'm on my way to the pool right now to think about it. Rest assured, when I'm in my most delicious shade of cocoa brown, you will have your answers.
Kelso: Well, this might tip the scales. I'm not wearing anything underneath my track suit.

Kelso: Hey, Jackie, you wanna see something hot? Watch me drink raw eggs.
Jackie: Oh, Michael...
Kelso: Jackie, hold on. I'm drinking my eggs.
Jackie: No, Michael...
Kelso: Jackie, whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait until after I drink my eggs!
Jackie: Fine.
Kelso: [drinks] Now, what is so important?
Jackie: You're allergic to eggs!
Kelso: [chuckles] Oh, man, I am.
Jackie: Yeah.
Kelso: [chuckles] Yeah, I gotta go to the hospital.