405. Bye-Bye Basement
Aired October 16, 2001
After Hyde moves back in with the Formans, Kitty decides to renovate the basement and hires Leo and his cousin Theo (Richard Karn) as contractors. Fez joins a ballet class to meet women. Meanwhile, Eric and Donna are still bickering following their break-up.
Quote from Leo
Leo: Okay. We're all done.
Kitty: But you've only been here a day.
Leo: Well, you know what they say. Rome was built in a day.
Red: No. Uh, "Rome wasn't built in a day."
Leo: Oh? Well, your basement was built in a day.
Quote from Kitty
Kitty: Welcome back, Steven. You know, maybe we can spruce up your old room since I decided to redo the basement.
Eric: What? You're redoing the basement?
Kitty: Well, honey, no one uses it.
Eric: I use it. Every day. It's my Batcave.
Red: I'll find you a good, cheap contractor.
Kitty: Oh, no, no, no. This is something I want to handle myself.
Red: This is going to be expensive, isn't it?
Red: Don't you like anything cheap?
Kitty: I like you.
Quote from Jackie
Donna: I don't know what Eric's problem is. I wasn't being a bitch, was I?
Jackie: Oh. Donna, I know from bitch, and yes, yes, you were. But I feel much closer to you now.
Quote from Kelso
Kelso: All right. Okay. I know what's going on here. You're being mean to Eric because you wanna do it with him. I mean, when Jackie dumped me, I had a buttload of leftover "wanting to do it with her" feelings.
Donna: Oh, my God. You morons might be right. But why do I have these stupid feelings left over? I mean, I just want to be friends with him now.
Jackie: [chuckles] What a child.
Kelso: So innocent. You're never gonna be friends with him. All right, the only reason he was friends with you was so he could do it with you.
Donna: Really? So he made friends with me when I was 5 so he could do it with me when I was 17?
Kelso: Well, that and your sweet Big Wheel.
Quote from Kitty
Kitty: Oh, Red, here. Um, meet our contractors. This is Theo and-
Leo: Hey, Mr. Eric's Dad.
Red: This is who you hired to redo our basement?
Kitty: Well, no, no. Actually, I hired Theo. And, uh, I didn't really expect Leo. That was, um... That was a bonus. [laughs]
Quote from Red
Red: Steven, it's 7-damn-30 in the morning. What the hell are you doing here?
Kitty: Red, be nice. Steven, we're waiting.
Hyde: Oh, I've been living in the basement.
Eric: You know, I did notice a dusting of curly hair on the floor, but I just wrote it off to my changing teenage body.
Hyde: I moved back in when my dad got transferred.
Red: Transferred? He's a bartender. Where'd he get transferred to, the jukebox?
Hyde: You know, Red, if it's cool, I'd kinda rather not talk about it.
Kitty: Well, Steven, it's important to get these things out in the open.
Red: Kitty, let him do what's natural and keep his feelings bottled up. Attaboy.
Quote from Kelso
Kelso: Yeah, I'm gonna miss it down here. A lot of good times. I broke my foot climbing out of this dryer. Yeah, I hit my head playing handball with the soap in that shower. Me and Jackie totally did it, like, a bajillion times on this old sofa. [Eric and Donna get up off the sofa]
Jackie: Michael, that's private.
Hyde: I got news for you. It wasn't that private.
Quote from Donna
Donna: I don't know, Mrs. Forman. I mean, sure, it's a pit now but if you paint, fumigate and get rid of Eric, this could be a great room.
Eric: Hey, wh- Hey, okay. You're not my girlfriend anymore. Okay? So you don't get an opinion on my stuff now. Mom, don't listen to her. She's crazy.
Donna: Wait, I disagree with you, so I'm crazy? I think the last time I disagreed with you was the sanest thing I ever did.
Eric: Okay, are you referring to our breakup? Because I must remind everyone that she wore my promise ring around her neck. That's crazy. Ring, finger. Finger, ring.
Donna: Well, you're lucky I didn't shove the ring up your ass.
Quote from Red
Theo: Don't worry, ma'am. Leo is solid. And he's not allowed to touch anything electrical.
Red: Kitty, I hate to interfere-
Theo: I understand your concern, sir. But I'm not an irresponsible screwup like my cousin Leo.
Leo: That's true, man.
Theo: I used to be like Leo, sitting around all day, wasting my life. But then one day the smoke cleared.
Kitty: See, Red? He had an epiphany.
Theo: Actually, I ran out of weed, and the smoke cleared. But, uh... [chuckles] then I saw how trashed my apartment was, so I rebuilt it. Been a contractor ever since.
Red: Well, I'm sold.
Quote from Eric
Donna: Okay. You know how when you eat, and you smack your lips in that really cute way?
Donna: It's disgusting.
Eric: [chuckles] That's all you got?
Donna: No. You have tiny wrists.
Eric: What? No, I don't. [Kitty enters] Mom, do I have tiny wrists?
Kitty: No, not tiny. Dainty. No, no, no. No, no. The doctor always said you were in the normal range.
Eric: See? Normal, Big Bone Magoo.