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‘The Forgotten Son’ Quotes Page 1 of 3    

That '70s Show: The Forgotten Son

409. The Forgotten Son

Aired November 21, 2001

Eric is uneasy when Kitty starts spending time with Donna. Red chooses Kelso to appear in a training video at Price Mart. Meanwhile, Leo spends lavishly with Hyde and Fez after coming in to some money.

Quote from Fez

Hyde: Damn, Leo, you didn't inherit a million dollars. That's a sweepstakes contest.
Leo: Well, then who has my money?
Fez: There is no money, you son of a bitch!
Leo: Oh. Wow. I guess all this stuff has to go back.
Fez: Oh, that means you too, Feathery Frank. Good day.
Cockatoo: But, Fez-
Fez: I said good day.

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Quote from Kitty

Kitty: Okay, here he is on the potty. Look how hard he's concentrating. Ooh, ooh, I have some earlier ones. Look at that baby. Didn't he have the cutest little behind?
Donna: Yeah. So when did he lose it?
Kitty: Right around when he turned 10. It was the strangest thing. Poof. Like someone ironed him.

Quote from Kitty

Kelso: Man, I guess my movie career is getting started sooner than I thought.
Eric: Kelso's playing the stock boy?
Hyde: This is my favorite thing ever.
Kitty: Well, Michael does have marvelous bone structure. [laughs] Oh, but you will too, honey, once you fill out.
Kelso: Oh, man. [chuckles] Mom burn!
Hyde: Yep. That's twice the normal burn.

Quote from Kelso

[circle:]
Eric: You know, I wasn't that worried about Donna and my mom talking about me, but now that I'm all paranoid I'm all, like, paranoid. I mean, when did it become okay for them to be friends?
Hyde: Right after your father replaced you with a semi-literate pretty boy.
Kelso: That's me. So, I've been thinking about great actors to model myself after and I choose Travolta.
Hyde: Kelso, I can think of no better way to impress Red than by acting like Travolta in his industrial film. [claps] Bravo, man.
Eric: That is good advice. Man, I don't want Donna and my mom talking about me.
Jackie: Yeah, and Donna's a big mouth. Like, she told me how you wore makeup to last year's class picture.
Eric: What? I did not! [chuckles] I did not. I had a zit. Stop looking at me.
Hyde: Forman, you and I are both victims of parental abandonment. Luckily, I have a rich hippie benefactor. He bought me nudie mags I'd never even heard of.
Kelso: [as John Travolta] Yeah, I'll stock this shelf! But someday I'm gonna dance across this whole city. [normal voice] That's dead-on.

Quote from Kelso

Red: All right, Kelso. You'll just go through a few typical stock boy tasks while I firmly, but kindly, oversee you.
Kelso: Got it.
Red: All right. Let's get started.
[Kelso removes his Price Mart smock to reveal a tight white vest and starts gyrating his hips]
Red: Kelso, what the hell are you doing?
Kelso: Oh, see, I'm going for a Travolta thing. Okay, my character's actually a dancer who's just stocking shelves until he makes it big. All right. Let me paint a picture for you. Just close your eyes. Okay, imagine with your eyes open. Just come with me.
[fantasy: Kelso dances down the street as he carries two cans of paint as a disco song, "Stock Boy", plays]
Red: Just stack the cans, moron.
Kelso: But why am I stacking cans? See, I'm thinking that the manager is a bad guy. So, why would I stack cans for him?
Red: Because if you don't stack the cans the manager is going to kill you.
Kelso: Oh, so I'm afraid for my life. That works. All right. Let's act.

Quote from Leo

Leo: Boy, being a millionaire is great.
Hyde: Well, at least you put the money to good use. Fun Tart?
Fez: Don't mind if I do. Candy button? I've got a million of them.
Hyde: So, Leo, man, tell us about your Uncle Ed. Why'd he leave you all his money?
Leo: Check it out, man. It's all in this letter he sent me.
Hyde: Your Uncle Ed is Ed McMahon?
Leo: [chuckles] Yeah. Who knew I was Scottish?
Fez: Uh-oh. [grabs candy]

Quote from Kelso

Kelso: [as John Travolta] I'm leaving Brooklyn, Mister Formanelli. And when I get to Manhattan, I'm gonna be a star. [normal voice] So, what do you think?
Red: You're fired.

Quote from Red

Eric: Dad, how can you choose Kelso to play the Price Mart stock boy?
Red: You have a better suggestion?
Eric: Hello! I am a Price Mart stock boy. I just came from stocking. At Price Mart. And I am currently wearing a Price Mart stock boy smock.
Red: Good point, Eric. Give your smock to Kelso.
Kelso: Oh, I don't think my broad, photogenic shoulders are gonna fit in that little thing.
Red: Now, don't take this personal, son. You're just too twitchy and skinny.
Eric: Well, you know, the camera adds 10 pounds.
Red: Yeah, 10. Not 40.

Quote from Leo

Leo: Hey, dudes.
Hyde: Hey, Leo, man, Huggy Bear called. He wants his suit back.
Leo: Huggy Bear? This is my suit, man.
Fez: So, to what do we owe the fancy pants?
Leo: Great news, man. I inherited a million bucks from my dead uncle.
Hyde: Shut up.
Fez: No way.
Leo: It's true. So, come on. Let's share the wealth. Come on. I'll buy you anything you want.
Hyde: Does that include burgers and nudie mags?
Leo: Include? That's half the budget, man.

Quote from Eric

Kitty: Well, here are my boys. How was work?
Eric: Oh, you know, just another day of restocking upper Point Place with durable household goods. Sleep soundly, Wisconsin.

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