That '70s Show Quote of the Day
Sunday, August 7, 2022
Saturday, August 6, 2022
Kitty: Oh, Red is gonna be furious.
Fez: Mrs. Forman, may I tell you a little story about oppression?
Fez: Once I had an ant farm. And they would not build their tunnels. I was furious, so I became very strict and stern with my ants. First they feared me, and everything was fine but eventually the ants broke out and attacked me. So I had to kill them.
Kitty: So, um, you think we're being too hard on the kids?
Fez: Well, I don't know about that. I just wanted to let you know that I'm really sad because my ants are dead.
Kitty: Okay. Well, Fez, thanks. [kisses Fez on the forehead] You're a good boy.
Fez: All the ladies want a piece of Fez.
Friday, August 5, 2022
Hyde: Kelso, what are you doing, man? You trying to make me look bad?
Kelso: No, I'm not doing anything.
Hyde: Well, whatever you are doing, you shouldn't go up against me, 'cause you're not gonna win.
Kelso: Well, I'm not doing anything, and I am going to win.
Hyde: No. You're gonna lose.
Kelso: How can I lose if I'm not doing anything?
Hyde: How can you win if you're not doing anything?
Kelso: Well, if I win, I'll admit that I'm doing something.
Thursday, August 4, 2022
Donna: This place is awesome.
Eric: I know. There's gotta be, like, 17 pillows on this bed.
Donna: What's this? Oh, my God. It's a tiny fridge with, like, a million bottles of tiny liquor. [gasps] And tiny cookies.
Eric: Oh, yeah? Well, in there... tiny shampoo and tiny soap. Donna, I think elves work here.
Donna: I feel so classy. I'm stealing all of it.
Wednesday, August 3, 2022
Red: Did you take those books back to the library like I asked you?
Eric: Yeah. I took them back.
Red: Well, then why did I see them in the backseat of your car?
Eric: I took them back... to the car. Which means that they're practically at the library.
Laurie: You know, Dad, I feel sorry for all the good kids who wanted to read those books. That's who I feel sorry for.
Eric: Okay, it's five books. A nickel a book. Big deal, I'm out a quarter.
Red: It's not about the money, son. It's about the rules. And without rules, we might as well all be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
Tuesday, August 2, 2022
Kitty: No, no, no! Why are you here? You can't be here!
Eric: Oh, right, I'll go outside, then I'll come back, and you guys yell, "Surprise!" and I'll yell, "You got me!"
Kitty: Eric, honey, there's no party.
Eric: What? How can there not be a party? Mom, what is more important than your only son's 18th birthday?
Kitty: Okay, fine. For the first time since his heart attack, your father and I are having intercourse. [all groan]
Red: [at the top of the stairs] Okay, let's get this over with.
Kitty: Happy birthday. [runs upstairs]
Monday, August 1, 2022
Eric: Mom, Dad, I'm not on drugs.
Kitty: Oh, what a relief. You have no idea-
Red: Kitty. Kitty, he's lying. That's what the hopheads do.
Eric: Dad, I swear, I'm not on drugs.
Red: Well, then, what the hell's wrong with you?
Eric: Well, I accidentally- I was upstairs and I- Okay, you know what, I'm on drugs.
Laurie: Oh, for God's sake, he saw you guys doing it! There. I helped.
Monday, August 8, 2022
Tuesday, August 9, 2022
Wednesday, August 10, 2022
Thursday, August 11, 2022
Friday, August 12, 2022