Eric: Okay, Donna, I'm ready for my going-away present. Yahoo.
Donna: [o.s.] All right, here I come.
[Donna walks out dressed as Princess Leia]
Eric: Holy Mother of Skywalker.
Donna: You can do whatever you want to Princess Leia. Her force field is down.
Eric: Donna, this is the best... Wait a second, Leia doesn't have a force field. She... Oh, you know what? I'm too excited to quibble.

Donna: Wow, watching Kelso's van sink makes the size of my feet seem unimportant.
Eric: See, Donna? Size doesn't matter.
Donna: Oh, you don't have to tell me.
Eric: That's... yeah. That's- There's my sweet girl.

Eric: Donna, we've gotta get this thing done. This report is due in six hours.
Donna: Yeah, Eric. I've been thinking about it. This whole Cold War standoff? It's ridiculous. Neither side is getting what it wants.
Eric: So, what you're saying is by hurting each other, they're actually hurting themselves.
Donna: Yeah. It must be incredibly frustrating for both sides. Both of them are just building up and building up. The urge to launch a first strike must be overwhelming and painful.
Eric: You know, Donna, in a lot of ways, what we're going through here is just like the Cuban missile crisis... except in our case, it's a missile crisis.
Donna: Eric, you're right. It's time for détente. [they kiss]
Eric: Wait. What about our disagreement?
Donna: I don't care. You win, okay? [Eric chuckles] What?
Eric: It's just- I can't believe you caved. Wait until I tell Hyde. No. No! Where are you going?
Donna: Suddenly I'm... I'm not in the mood.
Eric: You're lying! Donna, we're past the point of no return here.
Donna: Eric, girls don't have a point of no return. So see you tomorrow.
Eric: Donna?
Donna: Yes, Eric?
Eric: I cave.
Donna: Oh, thank God, 'cause I was just bluffing.

Donna: What's up with Eric's head anyway? It's completely out of proportion to that skinny body. He looks like a Blow Pop.

Donna: No, this has been really hard. And this celibacy thing was my idea, so... I need to accept some responsibility for the odd and disgusting things you do.
Eric: That's right, you do.
Donna: But, you know, next time, be like a normal person. Go to your room, lock the door, light some candles, put on some Al Green and make an evening of it.
Eric: Wow, Donna, that was really detailed. [chuckles] It's almost like... Oh, my God! You do it, too!
Donna: What?
Eric: No, no! I'd noticed the candles getting lower, even though I'd never seen them lit!
Donna: All right, this conversation is over! [exits]
Eric: Wow. So, this is where it all happens. [takes candle]

Eric: Man, it's like I finally figured out what I wanna do with my life, and now I might never be able to do it. And, might I add, through no fault of my own.
Donna: Eric, the last time you used the phrase "through no fault of my own" was when you said, "Donna, your cat's dead through no fault of my own." Which I later found out meant, "Donna, I ran over your cat."

Eric: Wow, so, it's like, I can do anything I want? Can I touch your buns?
Donna: What? You wanna touch my butt?
Eric: No, not those buns. You know, the buns.
Donna: Eric, that seems kind of weird.
Eric: Yeah. You know what? That is, like, a little weird. Maybe I'll just rub my face up against one of them?
Donna: Okay.
Eric: [rubs face against Donna's hair] Leia. Oh, Leia.
Bob: [o.s.] Donna, meet me downstairs for fried shrimp in T-minus 20 seconds. Wear an old shirt. These things are greasy.
Donna: Wow, that's almost enough to take you right out of the moment, huh?
Eric: Okay, Donna. From now on, the only thing I'd like you to say is, "Use the force, Eric."
Donna: Okay, that seems kind of...
Eric: Donna.
Donna: Use the force, Eric.

Eric: Donna, look that kiss was great and if I could take it back, I would. Because it's not worth ruining what you and I have.
Donna: Eric, you are a dumbass.
Eric: So is that like "I forgive you, dumbass" or "Get out of my house, you dumbass"?
Donna: Mostly the first one. [they kiss] Wow. Tongue.
Eric: Oh, yeah. [Donna sits down] Okay, well, let's go to dessert.
Donna: Just one second?
Eric: Donna?
Donna: Just one minute. [inner monologue] Silk sheets. Joe Namath's butt. Strawberries. Slow dancing. Oh, the washing machine with an unbalanced load. [out loud] Well, I'm good.

Donna: All right, look. I'm gonna tell you something I've never told anybody else all right? When I was 12, I saw my parents doing it.
Eric: How did you get over it?
Donna: Well, at first I was, like, completely freaked out. But then, eventually, the pain receded and I was able to live again.
Eric: I don't see this receding. I mean, I walked in on Red and Kitty and they were... They were right in the middle.
Donna: Oh, God, that's nothing. I caught my parents outside, in broad daylight, on my hammock. Where I used to read, like, my Nancy Drew mysteries.
Eric: Oh, man. That is so much worse than mine.
Donna: Oh, God. I can remember, like, little bits of naked skin peeking through the holes of the hammock.
Eric: Wow. It's weird, but knowing what you went through just makes me feel so much better. Because you're, like, totally over it, right?
Donna: And later... they came inside and they had, like, this checkerboard pattern all over their arms and legs.
And my dad laughed and said they fell asleep on the hammock. But I knew it was a lie. I knew what he did to my mom.
Eric: Your mom. Okay, I'm ready to fool around.
Donna: Please take me home.

Bob: First of all, Midge and I would like to thank everyone for coming. It really means a lot to us. The vows we're exchanging were written by our daughter Donna, whom we love very much. "Midgie, I consider it a privilege to be your husband." Donna, I actually feel that way.
Midge: "Bob, I'm proud and very grateful to be your wife."
Bob: "We've known each other since we were practically kids..."
[The camera focuses on Donna and Eric looking at each other]
Midge: "So we know all the good stuff..."
Bob: "And all the not-so-good stuff about each other."
Midge: "I can't imagine feeling about anyone else the way I feel about you."
Bob: "Because I love you. I always loved you, and I want to make you a promise."
Midge: "No matter what happens..."
Bob: "Good or bad..."
Midge: "I will always love you."