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‘Immigrant Song’ Quotes Page 1 of 3    

That '70s Show: Immigrant Song

524. Immigrant Song

Aired May 7, 2003

Fez is arrested and Kelso is injured after the guys try another prank on the water tower. Meanwhile, Red comes to a decision on Eric and Donna's engagement.

Quote from Kelso

Hyde: Way to go. If you hadn't fallen off the water tower, we could've helped him out.
[After Hyde punches Kelso in the arm, Kelso groans as he uses his sprained hand to hit Hyde back.]
Hyde: They should've x-rayed your head at the hospital.
Kelso: They did. And for your information, they found nothing.

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Quote from Kitty

Kitty: Washer and dryer, Red. They are going to have a washer and dryer. That redheaded harlot is gonna be Shouting-out my baby's grass stains! What about my last summer with my youngest child? I bet you weren't thinking about that when you went fishing. I bought sparklers for the Fourth of July. He loves sparklers and now he's leaving, and what are we gonna do for the Fourth of July?
Red: Uh... there's a car show in Kenosha.
Kitty: A car show? I don't want to go to a [bleep] car show in [bleep] Kenosha. I want three more [bleep] months with my baby boy and now they're gone because of your bull[bleep]. Way to go, dumbass!

Quote from Hyde

Hyde: So it's just a sprain, huh?
Kelso: Yeah, it doesn't hurt too bad. I guess the best part is I've now fallen off the water tower in every grade.
Hyde: That record will stand until your son goes to school.

Quote from Fez

Fez: Well, thanks a lot for getting me at the police station, you two sons of two bitches!
Hyde: Fez, what happened?
Fez: Well, I got arrested. And they did a background check and found out that my student visa expires when I graduate from high school.
Hyde: What?
Fez: Yeah, and now I have to leave the country after graduation. That's in a week. And I have to relearn my native language. Good day.
Kelso: No, but Fez-
Fez: [speaks foreign language]

Quote from Fez

Kelso: Okay, look, just- At least take a jelly bean? Okay? I bought 'em just for you.
Jackie: Well, that was very sweet.
Fez: [enters] There you are. Give me back my jelly beans, you son of a bitch!

Quote from Fez

Fez: Ah. The sacred senior prank where we vandalize the water tower. I've been waiting for this moment since... Well, the last time we vandalized the water tower.

Quote from Donna

Eric: I can't believe our little Fez is gonna be deported. God, I wish there was something we could do.
Laurie: Maybe I could talk to the mayor. He owes me one.
Donna: Eric, we can't let this happen. If Fez goes back to his country with those pictures he took, my panties are gonna end up on a stamp.

Quote from Laurie

Laurie: Hey, Mom? Where's Daddy? I need $20.
Kitty: For what?
Laurie: In an effort to clean up my act I'm buying my own drinks now.
Kitty: Well, he's not home. When Eric told him about his little plan to move away with Donna after graduation, your father went "fishing".
Eric: What?
Laurie: No!
Donna: What the big deal? You guys are really freaking me out.
Eric: My dad only goes fishing when he's, like, super-pissed. I think something about stabbing a worm over and over again with a hook is, like... um, therapeutic for him.
Laurie: Yeah. He fished for three whole days when he found out about me and the mayor.

Quote from Kelso

Jackie: Michael, what do you want?
Kelso: I think the question is, what do you want? And I'm pretty sure the answer is pink jelly beans. Now, they used to be pink and white jelly beans, but I ate all the white ones 'cause I know you don't like things that taste white.

Quote from Fez

Fez: Hey, stop it. Stop it. You two need to grow up and start painting genitals on the water tower.
Kelso: Fine. I'll be over here.
Hyde: Fine. I'll be over here.
Fez: Well, since I have never seen another man's genitals, I'll have to paint my own. In that case, I'll need more paint. [laughs] And a bigger tower. [laughs]

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