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A New Hope

‘A New Hope’

Season 1, Episode 20 -  Aired March 14, 1999

Eric and the gang see Star Wars for the first time. Meanwhile, Eric is jealous when Donna hangs out with an old classmate, and Red gets his full-time job back at the auto parts plant.

Quote from Fez

Fez: I am so excited about Star Whores.
Hyde: Fezzie, man, it's Star Wars.
Fez: Screw that.


Quote from Kitty

Kitty: Where's Eric?
Red: Uh... I don't know.
Kitty: I think you do know, Red.
Red: All right, Kitty. Some kid's been hitting on Donna so he went to fight him. But it's no big deal.
Kitty: No big deal? You men are such Neanderthals! Fighting over a woman. It's ridiculous. It's like that time at that beach when that lifeguard pinched my fanny. You just had to lay him out, didn't you?
Red: Well, yeah.
Kitty: Well, how do you think I felt, Red? Watching you stand over that poor man, your eyes burning with intensity, your- your suntanned muscles gleaming like a bronzed god.
[Red and Kitty turn to each other and then run up the stairs]

Quote from Kelso

Kelso: There's no way it's better than The Planet of the Apes. I mean, those apes were really good actors.

Quote from Eric

[dream sequence:]
Red: Now remember, a Jedi is his own master. His own master. His own master. A Jedi's power lies within his own-
Eric: Are you even listening to me? What? Yes. You were saying: "May the force be with me."
Red: No, I did not. Jedi Knight. [scoffs] Jedi dumbass.
Hyde: Luke, man I don't mean to bum you out, but I just saw Princess Leia cruise around with Darth Vader in his tie-fighter. Right, Chewie?
Kelso: [growls] Man, this totally sucks! I should be Han.
Hyde: Hey, quit whining. [punches Kelso]
Kitty: Will somebody get that? You know what? Why don't I just get it myself? [laughs] Honey, it's Darth Vader.
Eric: Thanks, Mom.
Jackie: Oh, my God you guys just gotta come over to the dark side.
Fez: They have free food.
Eric: All right, what have you done with Princess Leia?
Donna: Hey, guys.
Eric: Leia, what are you doing with Darth Vader?
Donna: Oh, we're, um, just friends, Luke. He's nice. I think you'd really like him.
Eric: No, I wouldn't!
David: Give me a chance, Luke.
Eric: [chokes] Look. Hello? He's choking me with his mind, here. That's, like, yeah, evil. [all laugh]

Quote from Bob

Bob: Oh, no, no, no. Donna's not going near that pretzel boy. No, no. You've got to nip this in the bud, Eric.
Red: All right. All right. The bridge of the nose is very vulnerable.
Bob: Oh, oh. And hit him with a banjo.
Red: A banjo, Bob?
Bob: What? I'm helping.
Red: Where is he gonna get a banjo?
Bob: I don't know. But I saw a guy get hit with a banjo once, and he went down.
Red: Hitting a guy with a banjo is dirty. You wanna knee him in the groin.
Bob: You can hit him in the groin with a banjo.

Quote from Red

Kitty: That voice. Oh. James Earl Jones!
Red: Eric actually liked this? That kid's on dope. Whoa.

Quote from Hyde

Hyde: Hey, Forman, man, this thing better be good. If I don't see some space jugs, I'm gonna be super-pissed.

Quote from Eric

Eric: And then they go into this bar and there are all these space creatures, and then, someone makes the mistake of picking on Obi-Wan Kenobi. And then, he takes out his lightsaber and he goes "whoosh" and he chops this guy's arm right off, 'cause it's a saber that's made out of light.
Kitty: Well, you know, this doesn't sound like a nice movie. Now, The Way We Were, that's a nice movie.
Laurie: So, Eric, you gonna get yourself some Star Wars pajamas now?

Quote from Kitty

Red: Kitty, I'm going back to work, full-time.
Kitty: Oh, my God, you're kidding.
Red: No, I ran into Ron Milbank at the K-Mart and he's moved back to re-open the plant.
Kitty: Oh. Oh, this is a godsend. Oh. And to think how close we came to losing the house.
Eric: Losing the- Mom, you said we were fine.
Kitty: Oh, Eric, honey, I lied.

Quote from Eric

Donna: David Milbank? Oh, barf. Eric, remember when you beat him up on the playground?
Eric: Yep. I kicked his ass.
Jackie: Wait, wasn't he the kid with scoliosis and asthma?
Eric: Yep. And I kicked his ass.

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