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‘Prank Day’ Quotes Page 1 of 3    

That '70s Show: Prank Day

421. Prank Day

Aired March 26, 2002

After Kelso starts a prank war with his friends, Eric, Hyde and Fez try to get back at him. Meanwhile, Jackie promises to spend time with Donna, who is feeling down on what would have been her parents' anniversary.

Quote from Red

Eric: No, uh, Dad, this was just a prank that's gone wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong.
Red: Well, I've got a prank too. One where my foot doesn't plow through your ass. Let's hope it doesn't go horribly, horribly wrong!


Quote from Kelso

Hyde: Well, that's a mighty big smile. What, did you get into the Play-doh?
Kelso: No. I'm happy 'cause today is Gift Day. And in honor of this special day, I got you all gifts.
Eric: All right. Aerosmith Live.
Kelso: Yeah, for my friend who rocks.
Hyde: Oh, man. The new Rolling Stone.
Kelso: For my friend who reads.
Fez: [gasps] Oreos!
Kelso: For my friend who snacks.
[Eric groans as he puts on a set of headphones. Fez groans as he bites one of the Oreos. A farting sound is heard as Hyde sits down on the couch.]
Kelso: A triple-decker burn! Awesome!
Eric: Wha-There's peanut butter on my headphones!
Fez: These cookies are filled with toothpaste!
Hyde: All right. That noise did not come out of my butt.
Kelso: Welcome to Prank Day. That's right. It's Prank Day. "Gift Day." You idiots.
Hyde: A whoopee cushion? What are you, two? [squeezes whoopie cushion] These things are great.

Quote from Kelso

Kelso: Let's just watch TV. Hey, Fez, I think there's a Nancy Drew on.
Fez: Oh! She can solve my mystery any day. [chuckles] And by the way, the mystery is in my pants.
Eric: Okay. That's it. I got a peanut in my ear.
Kelso: Yeah. I used chunky, so it might get up in your brain.
Eric: Yeah. Ha-ha. Laugh it up now, man, 'cause fun time is over. [struggles to remove his hand from the freezer] What the hell? I'm stuck.
Fez: [struggles to remove hand from TV] I have been glued!
Kelso: Not glued, superglued.
Hyde: Whoa, whoa, whoa. So you covered the freezer handle and the TV knob in superglue? Knowing Forman's love for Popsicles and Fez's love for knobs!
Kelso: Yeah. I'm an evil mastermind.
[As Hyde stands up to give Kelso a high-five, the chair cushion comes with him]
Hyde: Kelso, is there a cushion glued to my butt?
Kelso: No. Not glued, superglued.
Hyde: You're a dead man.
Kelso: Yeah? What are you gonna do, sit on me with your cushion-butt? [giggles] It won't hurt, 'cause it's a cushion-butt.

Quote from Jackie

Jackie: Okay. I'm here for our slumber party.
Donna: Wow. When you said you were gonna dedicate your whole day to me I figured that meant only until we left The Hub.
Jackie: No. I promised you twenty-four hours of Jackie time, which is equal to seven days of an ugly person's time.
Donna: Well, it's just, I'm in the middle of this really good book.
Jackie: Donna, books are for prisoners. Now, I brought tons of activities. First, some makeup for your long-overdue facial overhaul. The greatest board game ever... Mystery Date. And. Wait. Best of all my stuffed animals so we can perform an all-unicorn rendition of Grease.

Quote from Kitty

Kitty: Oh, Red. What happened to you? That oatmeal was for the hobos.
Red: Well, the idiots used it for a prank.
Kitty: Eric, how many times have I told you, don't poke the bear. Don't poke the bear!
Fez: Well, technically, we didn't poke the bear. We pour oatmeal on the bear.
Red: Are you correcting my wife?
Fez: Kelso's laughing at you.

Quote from Red

Red: Are you laughing?
Kelso: Oh, come on. You're covered in oatmeal! It's funny!
Red: That's it! [Kitty holds Red back as he charges at Kelso]
Kitty: Oh, oh, you know what you should do, Red? Forgive and forget. Turn the other cheek, like Jesus. Be like Jesus, Red.
Red: I can't even think of a punishment big enough for this! But trust me, it's going to be awful. The kind of thing that Harry Truman might order to end a war!

Quote from Kitty

Eric: Is Dad still gonna kill me?
Kitty: Eric, I put him in his Corvette, tuned the radio to a hockey game and handed him a beer. I've done all I can.

Quote from Kitty

Kitty: Well, this was another prank? See what happens when you act like a jackass?
Red: Kitty, I am so sorry and I promise: no more pranks, ever.
Kitty: Okay. So, we're done here. [walks away]
Red: Wait! You're not hurt. You were faking it.
Kitty: Oh, don't sound so surprised. I fake things plenty. [laughs]

Quote from Kelso

Fez: Guys, who's Harry Truman?
Kelso: He invented electricity, dumbass.

Quote from Eric

Eric: We really did freak out those guys tonight, huh?
Red: Hmm. Now, it's time to go after Kelso, the head dummy. And we're gonna have the junior dummies help us out.
Eric: You know what? We make a good team. It's like I'm Batman, and you're- Oh, no. You're- You're Batman.

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