Red: Let me get this straight. Donna wanted to get back together and you said no?
Eric: I said no.
Red: You said no?
Kitty: Dumbass!

Eric: Look, I have my reasons, okay?
Kitty: What could they be? What could they possibly be?
Eric: Casey dumps her and she comes to me? Okay, I'm not a rebound.
Red: So you're too proud to take her back? And what do you have to be so proud of? You're not an athlete. The only smart thing about you is your mouth. And look at you.
Kitty: Red- Red, he looks fine. He's just so darn stupid! I'm- I'm very upset.

Bob: And then I told Donna she was grounded, and she said no.
Kitty: She said no?
Eric: Can you do that?
Red: No.
Bob: I need your help, Red. I gotta get Donna away from that guy.
Eric: Oh, Dad, you know what's good? Threaten her with the old foot in the ass.

[circle:]
Eric: So, my mom and I were at The Hub getting ice cream and we caught Donna with Casey skipping school. And she was drunk, in the middle of the afternoon. It was like- It was like Sue Ellen on Dallas.
Hyde: You went to The Hub for ice cream with your mommy? [chuckles] Why would you tell me that?
Fez: Hyde, the point is, he went for ice cream without us. You cannot pick up a phone?
Kelso: You know who can't pick up a phone? Jackie. I broke up with her and she never calls to even say hi or to offer me sad, but hot break-up sex. I mean, that's just selfish.
Eric: Guys, my mom's over at the Pinciottis' right now telling Bob about Donna being drunk. You can't do that kind of stuff in the middle of the afternoon. It'll mess with your-your-your- your-your-your- thinking thing. You know what I'm saying.
Hyde: Yeah, you got to stay sharp, man. That's why I keep myself pure until 3:00. [checks watch] That's why I keep myself pure until 2:00. [chuckles] I'm not wearing a watch.

Kelso: How about I kiss her?
Jackie: No way. She's too tall, too tan, too rich.
Kelso: Damn, Jackie, I don't want to kiss a short, pale, poor girl.

Jackie: [overlapping] I just came by-
Kelso: I miss you.
Both: What?
Jackie: Did you say you missed me?
Kelso: No.
Jackie: Look, just say you miss me.
Kelso: Fine, I miss you.
Jackie: Michael, I miss you too. And look, I was thinking, since we broke up because I kissed another guy, what if I let you kiss another girl? I mean, we would be even, and we could get back together.
Kelso: Jackie, if you think that me kissing another girl is going to bring us closer together, I'm totally willing to make that sacrifice.
Jackie: Thank you, Michael.
Kelso: Yeah. I better go wash my face.

Kitty: You know, that Casey. How can such a bad influence live in such a handsome package? Bad people should have a- a big scar or an eye patch so you can recognize them.

Bob: The problem is... you know, there's a point when your kids realize you can't do nothin' to control them.
Eric: There is?
Red: No. Now stop listening. Bob, I don't want to get involved. I've got enough problems with the 14 kids who think they live here now.

Eric: So, um, how are you?
Donna: Humiliated. I'm such an idiot. I got dumped in front of the whole world. I don't- I don't even know what I said to your mom at The Hub and I hate that she saw me like that. What is wrong with me?
Eric: Hey, nothing. Look, your mom left. Come on, you're- you're allowed to freak out.
Donna: [sighs] Everybody warned me about Casey, and I fell for him anyway. And he's such a jackass.
Eric: You know, I really, really wanted you to figure that out, just not like this.
Donna: Eric, I'm just- [sniffles] I'm so sorry.
Eric: Hey. [they hug]
Donna: I was so stupid. [they kiss] Eric, we should be together.
Eric: Wait, what?
Donna: Let's just, like, forget all this other stuff happened.
Eric: Wait. Wait. Donna, I mean... If you come running back to me now... I... Donna, I can't be your second choice.
Donna: But you're not. Eric.

Jackie: Okay, look, Michael, all I know is I don't want to stay broken up.
Kelso: Oh.
Jackie: Okay, you know what, you choose. Kiss any girl you want.
Kelso: [kisses Jackie] I choose you.
Jackie: Michael, that is the most romantic thing I've ever read, heard about or seen on TV.
Kelso: Yeah, it was pretty romantic. I could tell while I was doing it.
Jackie: Oh, God.
Kelso: What?
Jackie: No, it's just- Look, one week you break up with me, and the next week you're Prince Charming?
Kelso: I'm an incredibly complex man, Jackie.