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The Girl I Love

‘The Girl I Love’

Season 5, Episode 11 -  Aired January 7, 2003

Kitty throws a dinner party so Fez can introduce Nina to the gang.

Quote from Red

Red: Kitty? I know this change of life has upset you but we just bought wine the other day. What are you doing, brushing your teeth with the stuff?
Kitty: Red, it's not for me. Well, this one is. We're having a dinner party tomorrow night.
Red: No, can't do it. Battle of the Network Stars is on! See, once a year, they make TV stars compete at things they're not good at. I look forward all season to watching Ed Asner try to paddle a canoe. Makes me feel superior.
Kitty: Well, you shouldn't feel superior, because you know what I know about Ed Asner? Ed Asner would come to my dinner party, 'cause he knows how to treat a woman.
Red: Did you say "dinner party"? [chuckles] See, I thought you- Oh, screw it, I'll be there.


Quote from Kitty

Kelso: What's this about a party?
Kitty: Oh, well, we're having a party tomorrow night for Fez and Nina. I invited all the kids.
Kelso: I'm a kid.
Kitty: Well, it's for couples only. You can come if you bring a date.
Kelso: Well, it's too late to find a date. I mean, yeah, I'm sweet looking, but I'm no miracle worker.
Kitty: Well, maybe if you stop jumping from girl to girl, you wouldn't be alone. You're no Frank Sinatra, you know!
Kelso: You know, you used to be nice, but you've changed, lady!

Quote from Fez

Fez: Guys, I really want Nina to like me so please, avoid the following topics: my addiction to candy, the fact that I have needs, and my use of Alberto VO5 Hot Oil Treatment.
Jackie: Wait. Fez, what does she care what you use on your hair?
Fez: Oh, I do not use it on my hair.

Quote from Kelso

Hyde: Why would Sports Illustrated even publish an issue that's not a swimsuit issue?
Kelso: You know who should do a swimsuit issue? Playboy.
Hyde: Why would you put clothes on a centerfold?
Kelso: Sometimes I get tired of all the complete nakedness and I like to be teased a little. Yeah, there's a lot more going on up here than you know about.
Hyde: I think there's some stuff going on in there that you don't know about.

Quote from Kitty

Donna: Where the hell does Eric get off acting like I make him do stuff? I mean, it's not like I wanted us to come to this dinner party either. I only did because... Well, you're all menopause-y now, and you scare me.
Kitty: Right, you came for me. Just like I slaved over a pot roast for all of you. You want a definition of hell? Try opening a 400-degree oven while you're having a hot flash.

Quote from Fez

Kelso: So the missus took you out for some girl fun, huh?
Fez: See, Donna is hot, but she is mean. My girlfriend Nina? Just hot.
Hyde: You know, Fez, you talk a lot about this Nina chick, but none of us have ever seen her.
Eric: Yeah, we're actually starting to suspect that she is some creepy alter-ego you visit late at night in front of the mirror.
Fez: Oh, no, I don't do that anymore. But Nina is the real deal. Kelso saw her at the D.M.V.
Kelso: Uh, there were a lot of girls there. She could have been the one with the lazy eye that does the vision test.
Fez: Lazy-eye Lizzie? No way. She wouldn't even look at me.

Quote from Fez

Fez: Nina, my friends don't believe that you're my girlfriend, even though I Frenched you.
Nina: Girlfriend? I don't know if we're there yet. I mean, I like you and all, it's just that all the guys at the D.M.V. seem great until you find them in your apartment wearing your hot curlers. Warren. I want to get to know you better, meet your friends, make sure they're not puppets. Warren.
Fez: So, if they are not puppets, then would you be my girlfriend?
Nina: Mmm, it would definitely help. [they kiss]
Man: Are these lines open or not?
Fez: Oh, you're right, I'm sorry.
Nina: That was very unprofessional.
[Fez places a "Next Window Please <-" sign on the counter]

Quote from Fez

Eric: So, we're finally gonna meet the mysterious and possibly fictional Nina!
Fez: Fictional? Does this hickey look fictional?
Donna: Huh, looks too small to be from the vacuum cleaner, like last time.
Jackie: Wait, let me see. Small, blotchy and uneven. Ah, this girl's an amateur.
Fez: Let me see. Small, blotchy and unpleasant. Yeah, this girl's a Jackie.

Quote from Kitty

Kitty: Well, Fez, I am thrilled that you found a girl 'cause I was starting to worry. [chuckles] But you've proven me and the experts from Reader's Digest wrong.
Fez: When I introduce her to everybody, I just want it to be special.
Kitty: Oh! Let's have a formal dinner party tomorrow. You know, it was at a dinner party that I first realized Red Forman was more than just a boy with great hair.
Fez: Sounds good, Miss Kitty. You might be a little past your prime, but your mind is still sharp.

Quote from Eric

Eric: Oh, actually tomorrow night's not gonna work I thought we might go see Laser Floyd.
Kitty: Well, you tell this fellow Floyd that you have a dinner party.
Eric: No, Mom, Laser Floyd's not a guy. Laser Floyd is Pink Floyd music... with lasers! Lasers, like in Star Wars.
Donna: Mrs. Forman, we'll be here.
Eric: Wait. You'd rather go to a formal dinner party?
Donna: Sure. Sounds great.
Hyde: And, uh, don't forget, Mrs. Forman. You can count Steven and me in. Yeah, I've been looking for an excuse to buy him a shirt with buttons.
Kitty: Since it's a special occasion, you're all allowed one sip of wine.
Eric: Great. It'll be like Communion, but without the fun of church.

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