Hyde: Oh, man, it's starting to come back to me. I remember seeing a cross and an altar. But I thought I was having that Exorcist dream again.

Hyde: Man, I can't fire Leo. He's like a father to me. Well, like a friend. Well, he's like a guy who's always got a lighter.

Hyde: Oh, my God, what did I do?
Red: You married a Las Vegas stripper. Congratulations. With Eric gone, you're the town dumbass.

Kitty: Oh, Steven, you look like you're about to throw up. Here, use Eric's "whoopsie" basin. Aim for the Snoopy.

Hyde: I gotta get out of here. I'm gonna go to the record store.
Kelso: Whoa, Hyde, you're, like, freaking out, man. You married a stripper. You're living every guy's dream! Well, not my dream, my dream's always the same. A monkey gives me the finger and flaps his lips at me and takes off with my clothes. Trust me, you don't wanna live that dream.

Hyde: What's the store doing closed in the middle of the day?
Kelso: Maybe it's Rosh Hashanah.

Leo: Hey, dudes, pull up a pillow.
Hyde: Leo, what the hell did you do with my record store?
Leo: Record store? You know, now that you mention it, this place would make an awesome record store.

Jackie: Well, I am not gonna sit around moping. I'm gonna do what every woman does when they hit rock bottom.
Fez: You're going to have sex with me?
Jackie: No. I'm going to go out and meet some boys, and crush their hearts one by one.
Fez: You know, Donna, Eric is in Africa. You must be close to hitting rock bottom.
Donna: Not really.
Fez: How long does a boy have to wait before one of you floozies hits rock bottom?

Kelso: Well, well, another day in the life of a Point Place police officer. I just confiscated a whole box of lighters, paraphernalia and illegal substances.
Hyde: Nice work, Officer. Ah, we're hooked up for two months.

Kelso: So, what do we do now?
Hyde: Man, I think I'm gonna have to fire Leo. He almost put me out of business. I just wish there was a good way to do it.
[circle:]
Hyde: [sighs] This is definitely gooder. "Gooder?" Yeah, that's a word. Leo, I left you in charge of the store and you let me down, man. So, I'm sorry to have to say... [laughs] You're fired, man!
Leo: I think the word you're looking for is "fried," man. And I am.
Hyde: No, no, man, I mean you're fired!
Leo: That's even funnier, man. And I totally deserve it.
Kelso: Yeah, and you're under arrest, too.
Leo: What?
Kelso: No, I'm just kidding. These handcuffs don't even work. [handcuffs self] Look. Wait, these are the ones that do work.