Red: Well, here's your emergency roadside kit.
Eric: Kitty litter? Oh, kitty litter. Right.
Kitty: Um, honey, I put some sandwiches in your duffel bag. Now, why do you need such a big bag of oregano?
Eric: Donna's Italian. [both laugh]
Kitty: Okay, stay warm.

Fez: I am so cold. The snow has stolen my manhood.

Jackie: You are a dog, Michael, a dirty, dirty dog!
Hyde: What did I do?
Fez: You kissed Pam Macy. [Kelso gasps]
Jackie: I trusted you, Michael, and now all my friends are laughing at me. I can't even show my face in the third floor bathroom anymore. And that's the cool bathroom.
Kelso: But, I-
Jackie: No, Michael. We're through.
Kelso: Okay. If that's the way you want it, we're through. And Monday, when we get back from that ski trip, it's over.
Jackie: No, Michael. No, no, no, no, no. You won't be skiing this weekend.
Kelso: Oh, that's just great, Jackie. Cancel the ski trip and disappoint all our friends.
Jackie: Oh, no, no, no. We are still going.
Kelso: They're surely not going without me. Right, guys?
Jackie: Oh, and did I mention my parents are not coming so it'll be just us?
Eric: So, we'll see you Monday!

Red: Now, Eric, you're gonna be driving in snow so I'll put together an emergency roadside kit for you. In case you run into trouble.
Eric: Okay, that'd be great.
Red: Preparation makes all the difference, Eric. Take kitty litter. I can't tell you how many times kitty litter got me out of a tight spot. I remember one time in the '70s...
[fantasy: Eric and Donna are laying on the floor of the cabin in front of the fireplace:]
Donna: Oh, my God, Eric. Oh. It's a road flare.
Eric: A road flare can save your life.
[reality:]
Red: I said, "A road flare can save your life."
Eric: What? Oh, check. Great. Road flare. Right.

Kitty: Okay, now, good. How was school today?
Eric: Okay, you know my PE Teacher, Coach Wilson? He had this crusty stuff in the corner of his lip. So Kelso says to him, "Hey, Coach, check out that crusty stuff" Last week, the coach...
[fantasy: as Red and Kitty make out on the couch, Red has a full head of hair]
Eric: Dad? Dad, are you even listening?
Red: Of course I'm listening. And you know what I'm hearing? You need to buckle down. I've told you over and over again that school is so important. What you do now determines...
[fantasy: Kitty is laying down above the couch]
Kitty: Oh, Red, that is so good. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Right there. Ooh. Oh, that hasn't been touched in years.
[as the camera pans out, Red is dusting the light fixtures]

Hyde: Hey, Donna, man, I brought my double sleeping bag. You know?
Donna: Great. Can Eric and I borrow it?
Fez: Oh, Hyde, watching you fail over and over it is like Charlie Brown and the football.
Hyde: Yeah, man, I just don't get it.
Fez: No, because Eric already has it. [laughs]

Eric: Oh. Hey. Hey, Kelso. Um... Look, I just wanna make sure we're cool. 'Cause this weekend is, like, really important for me and Donna. So, thanks for understanding.
Kelso: Yeah. I understand. I understand that we're not friends anymore.
Eric: Okay, look, man, you brought this on yourself.
Kelso: I know I did, but that's no reason for me to suffer.
Eric: No, that is a great reason for you to suffer.

Kelso: [engine starts] Okay, I see what's going on. You're not really going skiing. This is all just a gag. You're just trying to get me all worked up so you can go, "Just kidding, buddy!" [chuckles] Yeah, you got me. That's a nice burn.
Eric: It sure is. Bye-bye. [car drives off]
Kelso: Oh, he's not going. [Red and Kitty wave] He'll be back. Yep, any second now. He's probably just going around the block. [chuckles] I gotta hand it to him, he got me there. That's a major burn. Yup. There he is. I knew it! [laughs] Oh, no, that's not him.

Fez: I have never seen snow before. It is so beautiful.

Jackie: Do you know what the best part of this whole trip is? That Michael is not here. He'd just be sitting here telling me how cute I look in my fur-trimmed coat. I know I look cute. I don't need him here for that.