Kitty: Well, we all do a little pretending. Sometimes, when I'm bringing in the groceries, I pretend to be Scarlett O'Hara. And I look at all the brown bags and I say, [Southern accent] "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again!" Oh! Oh! And sometimes with Red, I... Okay, well, the point is, it's okay to pretend.

[Kitty walks in on Donna and Randy kissing]
Kitty: [enters] Oh, my God! In Eric's bedroom? You two-timing whore!

Fez: I wanted to make my room more manly, so I put up some posters of the Village People. Mission accomplished.

[After the guys watch Donna and Randy walk out of the movie theater together]
Hyde: Busted!
Jackie: Wow!
Fez: Unbelievable. After all that, she gives the kid back to Dustin Hoffman? That bitch is crazy!

Kitty: Well, we're off to buy curtains for Eric's room. We're making it into a sewing area, so I thought a nice floral print might really pretty it up.
Red: It's all part of our plan to make Eric's room less girlie.

Hyde: Oh, crap. I stashed something real important and real illegal up in Forman's room.
Jackie: Where'd you hide it?
Hyde: I don't know. I was under the influence of it when I hid it.

Jackie: Oh, Fez, thank you so much for getting me a job as a hair consultant.
Fez: Well, I told my boss that you were reliable and hard-working.
Jackie: Aw, you lied for me.

Hyde: Oh. Hey. Didn't know you guys were starting this early.
Red: It's 2:00 in the afternoon.
Hyde: Yeah, that damn school bus bringing home those kids woke me up again. So, uh, you guys find anything interesting?
Kitty: Oh, well. I did find this Good Housekeeping under Eric's bed. And apparently, he was very interested in self breast exams.
Hyde: Yeah. Mrs. Forman, I think the only thing he was interested in was examining himself.
Kitty: Oh, well, Steven, that is a perfectly normal biological function. And my baby never did that!

Hyde: Hey, Red, you need some help?
Red: Nah, nah, I'm just boxing up some of Eric's awards. Oh, it was a proud day when he came home with this beauty. "Cub Scout Fair. Prettiest Non-Functioning Kite."

Hilary: You went out again last night?
Fez: Yup. I left the club with a creamy white girl and a chocolaty black girl. We went home and made hot fudge sundae. And then we did it.