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‘Fez Gets the Girl’ Quotes Page 1 of 3    

That '70s Show: Fez Gets the Girl

312. Fez Gets the Girl

Aired January 16, 2001

Fez falls for the new girl at school, Caroline (Allison Munn). When Donna wins two tickets to a Led Zeppelin concert, Eric is busy at work after being made employee of the month. Meanwhile, Laurie practices hair styling on Kitty.

Quote from Jackie

Kelso: Jackie, why do you wanna go anyway? You hate Led Zeppelin.
Jackie: I never said I hated them, Michael. For your information, I think Led is hot.

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Quote from Kitty

Bob: Hey there, Harpo. Where's your horn? [chortles]
Kitty: Bob, are you making fun of my hair?
Bob: No.

Quote from Jackie

Donna: Eric, it's okay. I knew you weren't gonna go. You're a really responsible guy. I love and hate that about you. Well, since, uh... Since Mr. Smock here is being all logical, I guess I'll have to take one of you losers.
Jackie: Take a loser where?
Donna: Zeppelin.
Jackie: Zeppelin? Oh, my God! That's a band, right?

Quote from Fez

Donna: Fez, is that her?
Fez: Yes. I wish I could go talk to her, but I get so nervous.
Donna: Fez, you shouldn't be nervous. You're awesome. What girl wouldn't wanna be with you?
Fez: Well, there is Jackie, Laurie... this girl from gym, another girl from chemistry... uh, country-western star Tanya Tucker, who does not answer her letters.

Quote from Kelso

Hyde: Where's the tunes, Forman?
Eric: Hang on, you guys. Just one more wire here.
Fez: I learned how to speak English faster than this.
Kelso: Fez, it's not real English when you speak it with a foreign accent. Geez.

Quote from Red

[dream sequence:]
Eric: Hey, Dad. Good news. Just got another raise.
Red: Well, good for you. You dumb bastard.
Eric: Yeah, I tell you. If they keep throwin' money at me like this, I might be able to get my own apartment soon.
Red: For God's sakes, you're 57 years old.
Eric: Ah.
Red: Eric, why didn't you listen to me? If you'd gone to college, you could've really been something.
Eric: Been something? Whoa. You're talking to the interim assistant weekend manager of housewares here, okay? Yeah. Show some respect.
Red: Well aren't you just the president of Turd Town?

Quote from Red

Eric: Uh, actually I was trying out my new speakers. What do you think?
Red: New speakers? What was wrong with the old ones? Those were genuine G.M. parts.
Eric: Uh... These are louder.
Red: Yeah? Well, just keep your monkey music turned down. Go grab your smock. We gotta go to work.
Bob: [o.s.] Hey, Red. Is that you?
Red: Oh, cripes. [turns radio on]
Bob: Hiya, neighbor.
Red: Can't hear ya, Bob. I'm testing out Eric's new speakers.
[Red turns the radio back off as Bob walks way]
Red: Not bad.

Quote from Kitty

Kitty: Laurie, no. You quit everything. You are not quitting cosmetology school.
Laurie: Well, what am I supposed to do?
Kitty: I will be your model. But you just remember: Men have their cars. Women have their hair. It's like a car. It's valuable. [chuckles]

Quote from Red

Eric: Aren't these the coolest?
Fez: I can't hear you.
Eric: I know. They're the greatest speakers ever.
[Eric jumps up on the hood of his car and plays air guitar]
Red: Eric!
[As Eric's friends scatter, Red leans into the Vista Cruiser and turns the radio off]
Eric: Oh. Hey, Dad. Sorry... [looks around] Didn't see you there.
Red: Well, I guess that's 'cause you were too busy making an ass of yourself.

Quote from Red

Red: Boy, quite a day at PriceMart, Kitty. First, the price of lightbulbs dropped two cents, then Eric was made employee of the month, and to top it off, they added Cheez-Its to the vending machine.
Eric: Are you serious?
Red: Yep. Tiny little squares with the cheese flavor baked right in 'em.
Eric: Am I really PriceMart employee of the month?
Red: You sure are.
Kitty: Yay!
Red: And they even decided to throw in a extra 25 cents an hour.
Eric: Oh, yes.
Red: I gotta admit, Eric. I had my doubts, but, uh... Hell, you've hardly embarrassed me.

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