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‘Surprise, Surprise’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

That '70s Show: Surprise, Surprise

710. Surprise, Surprise

Aired December 1, 2004

Kelso hooks up with Hyde's sister, Angie (Megalyn Echikunwoke). Kitty agrees to help Jackie bake cookies to cheer Hyde up. Meanwhile, Donna agrees to promote Red's muffler shop on her radio show.

Quote from Jackie

Jackie: Thank you for helping me, Mrs. Forman. Steven is gonna love these cookies.
Kitty: Okay, now start by cracking a couple of eggs into the bowl.
Jackie: I can't touch an egg.
Kitty: Why not?
Jackie: 'Cause it came out of a chicken butt.
Kitty: Honey, they wash it.
Jackie: Well, wash it all you want, it still came out of a butt.

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Quote from Hyde

Kitty: Excuse me, Mr. Record Store Big Shot, I need some help. Where can I find something by Bette Midler?
Hyde: Well, we don't have any Bette Midler, but may I suggest something even better? Perhaps a little Sex Pistols?
Kitty: Sex Pistols? Well, that's terrible. Guns don't belong in the bedroom.
Hyde: They agree, and a lot of their songs are about just that. And they deliver their message with a smooth, mellow sound.
Kitty: So it's like easy listening.
Hyde: Well, they're not hard to hear.

Quote from Kitty

Donna: Okay. Now, I would like to hear from some pissed-off feminists. You're on the air with Hot Donna. Or, should I say, Hot-under-the-collar Donna.
Kitty: [on line] Donna Pinciotti, you should be ashamed of yourself. Suddenly you think women shouldn't be looked at. Well, I've seen your outfits, Miss Lady Tank Top.
Donna: Mrs. Forman, this isn't about me, it's about society.
Kitty: No, it's about Red, who's been like a second father to you, and now finally he has something to be proud of and you're forcing your weirdo hippie politics on it. It's just a couple of greased-up broads on a Chevy. Get over it!

Quote from Hyde

Kitty: Steven, I can't believe you thought I'd like these Sex Pistols. I don't want anything this loud and crabby in my house if I'm not married to it.
Hyde: I'm sorry, Mrs. Forman. I'll make it up to you. Have you ever heard of a band called Judas Priest?
Kitty: Well, that's what Judas needed, a priest. Are they spiritual?
Hyde: I listen to them every Sunday.

Quote from Red

Red: Steven, the store is great. I'm proud of you.
Hyde: Thank you.
Eric: Whoa, Hyde, I want you to really savor this moment. Red's only nice every 75 years. Yeah. He's kind of like the Halley's Comet of compliments. I got one the first time I used the potty and... Yeah, since then, nothing.
Red: What am I supposed to do? Compliment you every time you go to the can?
Eric: See?
Red: All these kids, wasting their money on records. You'd think they could be down at my muffler shop buying mufflers. You're all stupid.

Quote from Jackie

Hyde: Look, in my town there are two rules. One, don't date Kelso. Two, don't date Kelso.
Eric: Yeah, it even says that on the sign when you drive into town. "Welcome to Point Place. Don't date Kelso."
Donna: The high school band spells that out during half time.
Angie Barnett: Look, I'm not dating Michael. We went out one time, but it's not gonna happen again. I need a guy who can eat a bread stick without pretending it's a cigar first.
Jackie: Okay, the thing is, Angie... Michael's like chocolate cake, okay? It looks good in the bakery, but when you take it home, it sleeps with all your friends.

Quote from Donna

Donna: If you want, I could plug your store on my next radio show.
Red: That'd be great, and tell them I'm giving away calendars.
Donna: Okay. Well, the only problem is I don't know how many people will hear it. I used to think I had a lot of listeners 'cause I had a lot of call-ins. But it turns out it was just one crazy guy doing different voices. You may know him as Fez.

Quote from Donna

Eric: Yeah. Hey, Donna, what kind of food am I?
Donna: Um... I don't know, I guess, a Twizzler.
Eric: What?
Donna: No, it's a good thing. You can have a lot of them and not even notice.
Fez: You're just gonna sit there and take that? Of course you are. You're a Twizzler.

Quote from Kelso

Kelso: Are you closed yet or what? I've been waiting in the parking lot for, like, forever.
Angie Barnett: I didn't see you out there.
Kelso: That's 'cause I was hiding in the bushes by your car. I figured when I jumped out, you'd be so relieved it was me that you'd go out with me again.
Angie Barnett: Why didn't you just ask me out?
Kelso: I don't know. I was gonna but you're so pretty and successful and... Plus, I kind of like hiding in the bushes.
Angie Barnett: Michael, I appreciate the offer, but I'm not sure you're my type.
Kelso: "Not your type"? I'm like ketchup, I go good on everything.

Quote from Kelso

Kelso: Okay, all right. Look, Angie, I really want to go out with you again, okay? And I got about 50 lines that I could throw at you right now, but I don't wanna do that because I don't want you to go out with me because of some line. I want you to go out with me 'cause you like me as much as I like you.
Angie Barnett: Are you telling me that's not a line?
Kelso: Well, it's not now, but if it works, I can add it to the list.

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