Jackie: Okay, look, you may not take this seriously, but I do. I used to be a rich, popular girl. But now that my dad has cut me off, I'm not rich so I have to be twice as popular.
Donna: Okay, maybe you should spend less time worrying about being popular and more time being thoughtful, friendly, considerate.
Jackie: Okay, can I get a translation because that was gibberish.

Kitty: Okay, you're right. Eric's fine. Let's just talk about something else. [laughs]
Bob: Ooh! You know, Joanne taught me a lot about lady orgasms. They've been around longer than I thought.
Kitty: Okay, so talking's bad.

Kitty: Now, I'm just so worried about Eric. A tornado in January?
Red: Yeah, life's full of surprises. Like these two showing up 'cause they don't have a basement. Surprise!
Joanne: Gee, Red, you seem grouchy. Surprise!
Kitty: Red, if Eric gets caught in a tornado, he'll get blown to Canada. He's very light.

[circle in the radio station office:]
Donna: This is the best tornado ever!
Eric: I know! And who better to be stuck here with than America's most beloved rock band ladies and gentlemen, Aerosmith! [claps]
[The camera pans to a cardboard cut-out of Steven Tyler]
Eric: [as Steven Tyler] Hey, as rock legends, we've had some pretty good times. But it doesn't get any better than this. Hello, Wisconsin!
[The camera pans to a cardboard cut-out of Joe Perry]
Eric: [as Joe Perry] Yeah, I dig this joint too. Hello, Wisconsin.
Donna: That was your Aerosmith? You're bad at that. Steven Tyler is way cooler, and Joe Perry is so dreamy. God, you're bad at that!
Eric: What? That was dead-on! Right, guys?
[The cardboard cutouts' mouths appear to move]
Male Voice: [as Steven Tyler] I bought it. [exclaims]
Male Voice: [as Joe Perry] You, uh, really think I'm dreamy? [winks]
Donna: Whoa. The station manager's stuff is way better than ours.

Kelso: Hey, guys. It is literally a million degrees out. I'm wearing shorts in January! Have you ever seen prettier legs on a fella?
Jackie: Michael, we'll admire your legs later. Snow Prom is tomorrow. We need to keep up our campaign for Snow Queen and Snow King.
Kelso: Jackie, I did campaign. I wrote our names all over the place.
Eric: Kelso, you peed in the snow.
Kelso: In cursive! It was awesome.

Eric: Whoa. Whoa. Hyde, you're going to a school dance? You're going to stink bomb the teachers' lounge, aren't you? I want in.
Hyde: No, man, kid stuff. See, during the dance, I'm going to throw a party in Coach Ferguson's office. I'm bringing my best stuff.
Fez: A party with your best stuff? Are you saying what I think you're saying?
Hyde: You know it.
Fez: Oh, boy, you have a pinata?

Rhonda: Oh, my God, Fez! A tornado? This changes everything. This could be our last night here on earth.
Fez: Oh, no. I'm going to die a virgin.
Rhonda: Not if I have anything to say about it.
Fez: You can talk all you want, but there's a tornado coming.
Rhonda: Fez, I mean, let's do it.
Fez: It? "It" it? All right. [runs off then returns] I'm going to need you.

Donna: Eric, you're here.
Eric: Donna, look, I'm sorry I'm late. I really did want to pick you up before the dance. So it's no big deal, really.
Donna: No big deal? It's a huge deal. I was in back filing records, and suddenly everyone was gone, and I was stuck here alone. And you risked the tornado for me.
Eric: Tornado? What tornado... could stop me from helping you? So, uh, tell me, um, is the tornado, like, um... like, out there?
Donna: Yeah. They say it's a biggie.
Eric: Oh.
Donna: Eric, are you okay?
Eric: Sure. Uh, it's just that now that I know you're okay, I can finally start worrying about me. And, see, the thing about me is... [lights go out] I don't want to die.

Eric: So, what to do? Let's see, there's you, there's me, candlelight. You know, back in the old days we would have-
Donna: We're not doing that.
Eric: Uh-huh, yeah, yeah. So quick to dismiss the thing you once ached for.
Donna: You mean, cheese sticks?
Eric: If you want to call it that, sure.

[Kitty is dancing as she and Red, Bob and Joanne play charades]
Red: [stammering] Gyrating. Uh, twisting. Uh... Hips! You make me feel like hips!
Bob: Uh, time. We win.
Kitty: I was dancing! "You make me feel like hips"?
Red: It could have been a song.
Joanne: Is it hard to lose, Red? 'Cause you make it look so easy.