Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘Over the Hills and Far Away’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

That '70s Show: Over the Hills and Far Away

506. Over the Hills and Far Away

Aired November 19, 2002

Red and Kitty take Eric, Hyde, Kelso and Fez on an overnight visit to the University of Wisconsin. Meanwhile, Donna and Jackie tour a private school.

Quote from Red

Red: Hold it, you two. Now, before we hit the road, we need to have a talk about that horrible thing that's taken over your mother.
Eric: You mean, her "change of life"?
Hyde: Thought we were calling it "the lady-parts problem."
Red: It goes by many names. Now, we're dealing with a tricky enemy here. I haven't been this frosty since Korea. And just like a commie, it can jump out and attack you at any moment.
Kitty: [o.s.] Red, honey.
Hyde: Incoming!
Eric: Retreat!

Rate

Quote from Red

Eric: Hey. There's my favorite coed. Hey, are you all packed for Visitors Weekend?
Donna: I can't go. My dad's making me visit Marquette instead. He thinks it's a better school, 'cause it's private. Oh, and 'cause it sounds French.
Eric: Well, you know what? We'll just go with you. I mean, if it's a better school then I belong there too, right, Dad?
Red: No. State schools are cheap. That's where you belong.
Eric: Well, what if, like, you took out a second mortgage on the house? [Red and Hyde laugh]
Red: Not for you, dumbass.

Quote from Kelso

Kelso: Hey. Wait up.
Red: What do you want?
Kelso: The explanation's pinned to my lapel.
Red: "Dear Red. Mr. Kelso and I are unable to take Michael to U.W. Here's $30 so he can go with you." Where's the 30 bucks?
Kelso: Oh, I bought this "electronical" football game.
Red: I swear to God, Kelso! You make Eric look like Einstein.
Eric: Thank you, Daddy.
Kelso: "Thank you"? Einstein was ugly.

Quote from Kitty

Kitty: Boys, um... Um, I realize that, uh... I may have been a little irrational today.
Kelso: A little?
Kitty: [screams] Shut up! [normal voice] So, um, maybe now is a good time for me to explain a few things to you about menopause. And, um, lucky for you, I'm a nurse, so I can use the proper terms, like "epithelial lining" and "uterine wall." [Eric groans]
Fez: I'm hooked.
Kitty: Okay, so. Um, now. Say these soaps are my ovaries.
Eric: Kill me now.
Hyde: Can't hear you, man. I'm on a beach in Florida.
Kitty: Okay, um, about a month ago, they stopped producing... [Kelso's game beeps] They stopped... [beeping continues] stopped producing- [game chirps] That's it! [throws Kelso's game] What is wrong with you? Were you dropped on your head?
Kelso: Yes, I was! And up until now, everyone had the good grace not to mention it.

Quote from Kelso

Red: What do you want?
Kelso: Once again, the explanation is pinned to my lapel. "Dear Mr. and Mrs. Forman, please give Michael $30 for the game you threw out the window and broke. Signed, my parents."
Kitty: [laughs]
Red: Well, you made her laugh. That's worth 30 bucks.

Quote from Red

Red: [to Fez] Oh, thanks for the help. You seem to have a natural talent for handling luggage.

Quote from Kitty

Kitty: [sobs]
Red: [to Eric] You gonna cry now too?
Kitty: You know who had a real family? The Waltons. We're just three strangers sitting in a room!

Quote from Fez

Fez: Oh, Hyde, I've been meaning to tell you. [sings] Hyde and Jackie, sitting in a tree. They're in love like two monkeys. [laughs]
Hyde: Would you shut up, Fez? That's not even how it goes.
Fez: Well, is it making you mad?
Hyde: Yes.
Fez: Well, then, that's how it goes.

Quote from Red

Kitty: Oh, Steven, I put out some clean clothes for you to take on the trip.
Hyde: Uh, thanks, Mrs. Forman, but I'm not really the college type. I get my learning on the street.
Red: Steven, you're a smart kid. If you would only just apply yourself, you could go to college too.
Hyde: You don't trust me alone in the house, do you?
Red: See how smart you are?

Quote from Kitty

Kitty: Well, I just can't believe my baby is all grown up and visiting college! I am so freaking old!
Eric: And menopause makes another unwelcome appearance at the dinner table.
Kitty: Oh, no, it's not unwelcome. It's- It's liberating. Now my emotions just spill out.
Eric: Yeah, Mom. You're sweating all over your pork chop.

Page 2 
 Previous Episode Next Episode 
  View another episode