TV Quotes

Donna: I love this ring. You know, I wish we could tell people that we're engaged. You know, without Red killing you.
Eric: Red kills happy things. It's what he does. Let's just enjoy the fact that someday you are going to be Mrs. Forman.
Donna: Mrs. Forman? [laughs] You want me to go by Mrs. Forman?
Eric: Well, yeah, I just assumed. I mean, come on. [laughs] Pinciotti? Which is nice. No. Which is really nice.
Kitty: [enters] Eric? Eric? Honey could you get the Thanksgiving turkey out of the freezer? Oh, wait. It's a 20-pounder. Donna. Could you get the Thanksgiving turkey out of the freezer? [exits]
Donna: Sure, Mrs. Forman. See? There's your Mrs. Forman.
Eric: Okay. Yeah, you know. [clears throat] You're right. That's gonna be a little creepy.
Donna: Well, now I kinda like it. Call me Mrs. Forman.
Eric: No.
Donna: Mrs. Forman's feeling dirty.
Eric: Okay, Donna-
Donna: Come on. Give Mrs. Forman a big French kiss!

Hyde: Mrs. Forman, if it helps, I can invite Jackie to Thanksgiving. She's bitchy like Laurie.
Kelso: Mrs. Forman, I would love to come to your Thanksgiving dinner and I'll bring a date and a 12-pack, just like the pilgrims.

Hyde: Oh, hey, Red. Do me a favor. Sign this, huh? My gym teacher's failing me 'cause I won't wear shorts.
Red: Why won't you wear shorts?
Hyde: Would you wear shorts?
Red: Fine.
Hyde: Thank you.

Hyde: So, Thanksgiving. We celebrate the subjugation of an indigenous people with yams and Underdog floats.
Jackie: Yeah. I'm mostly celebrating my pretty new dress.
Hyde: And so much for talking.

Bob: Hey, thanks for dinner, Kitty. I'll remember to wear my stretch pants next time. Oh, let me know if you find that button.

Kelso: Hey, Laurie. Long time no doing it.
Laurie: Maybe for you. So, what time is your date gonna let you out for recess? [exits]
Kelso: Nice try, Laurie. There's no recess today. It's Thanksgiving! Wow, Laurie. [laughs] Yeah, me and her really had something, huh?
Hyde: Yeah. Ointment took care of that, though, right?
Kelso: Yeah.

Kitty: Well, another Thanksgiving come and gone. Certainly an eventful day, hmm?
Red: Yeah. But with our ungrateful daughter, that dumbass son and a drunk foreign kid, I'd say... Actually, it was a little better than last year.

[circle:]
Eric: Fez, I know you've only spoken English for a couple weeks now, but could you have learned the words, "Don't tell my dad"? "Don't," a contraction meaning "Do not", and "Tell my dad," meaning "Shut up!"?
Fez: Okay, right there, you just told me not to shut up. It's a wonder you're not failing English too. Crack a book, you lazy son of a bitch.
Kelso: So, guys Ms. McGee. [laughs] Pretty nice, huh? If they put one of her in every classroom, I'd never skip school again, if you know what I mean. I mean, I'm doing it with my teacher! Oh, shh! It's a secret.
Hyde: I've never been with a teacher. But I was with the post-office lady. That was cool. I got a hundred free stamps and a monster roll of tape. I like older women. They always got something smart to say.
[after the camera pans around the circle, it lands on Mrs. McGee in a circle in Laurie's room:]
Mrs. McGee: I think I could probably fit inside of a record player. That's gotta sound good in there. Inside of a record player?
Laurie: I miss dating Kelso. The guys I'm with now, they're so... I don't know. What's the word? Married.
Jackie: Hey, you and Kelso didn't date. You're just a tramp he cheated with. And you contaminated him so much, I ended up with Steven who I love being with. So thank you.
Donna: Wow. I'm the only one here who's never been with Kelso. Which makes me wanna say, "Ew!" And also, "Thank God." But you, I mean, you're a teacher. Can't you get in trouble for dating a student?
Mrs. McGee: Hey, let 'em come and get me. He's 18. I make $11,000 a year. I deserve a little something.

Eric: Hey, guys. Red is gonna flip when he sees this failing notice. "To the parent or guardian of Eric Forman."
Fez: Your son is a complete idiot. Please kick him out and raise the foreign boy as your own.

Red: So, Eric, how's school treating you? You managing to, uh, keep from embarrassing yourself?
Eric: Yeah. Oh, sure. I've been buckling down just like you said and thinking a little bit more about my future, which I believe you also recommended.
Red: Well, it's good to know that 17 years of kicking your ass has finally paid off.