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‘Love of My Life’ Quotes Page 1 of 3    

That '70s Show: Love of My Life

821. Love of My Life

Aired May 18, 2006

Fez is down in the dumps since Jackie rejected him so his childhood friend, Andrew Davis (Justin Long), visits to cheer him up. Meanwhile Red and Kitty have a tough time showing people around the house when they put it up for sale.

Quote from Fez

Hyde: So you grew up with Fez, huh? You know, we've been wondering something for a long time. Where the hell are you guys from?
Fez: Um, isn't it obvious?
Donna: Okay, just tell us what's the name of your country?
Andrew Davis: Well, that depends on whether you ask the British or the Dutch.
Hyde: Okay, so what if we ask the British?
Andrew Davis: Oh, no, no, no, no! They wouldn't tell you. They hate us.
Hyde: So, what if we ask the Dutch?
Fez: Oh, who can understand a word they say?

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Quote from Red

Kitty: Okay, well, the house is all set. Mr. and Mrs. Dubois should be here any minute.
Red: Dubois? Kitty, I don't want Germans moving in here!
Kitty: I think they're French.
Red: Yes, and if they buy the house, they'll give it up to the first German who knocks at the door.
Kitty: Okay, well, I have to get to work. Are you sure you can show this house by yourself?
Red: Kitty, I showed a Japanese soldier the inside of his own stomach, I think I can show a house.

Quote from Red

Red: In here I built a whole workbench against this wall so there is plenty of space for all your tools.
Man: Actually I was thinking I could turn it into a yoga studio.
Red: Really, and I was thinking I could turn your ass into my foot studio.

Quote from Kitty

Kitty: [P.O.V.] Oh, hello there, I'm Kitty Forman. I'm so excited to show you my home. Okay, now, this is the living room where I have spent many happy hours. Not "happy hours" like at a bar. [laughs] Although, I would be lying if I said I didn't try to start that up around here. No, but I have spent many wonderful times with the kids in here. Before they moved so very far away. Oh, sad! Okay, follow me. And this is my kitchen. And this is the table where Eric would do his homework and Laurie would do her nails. You know, some people used to call her a tramp but that's not fair, there is nothing wrong with being friendly. You know, I guess the four of us will never sit here together again. Okay, let's move on. Now, this is the dining room where we'd have all our special dinners and Red's mother used to always tell me my pot roast was too dry. But what does she know, she's in hell now. [laughs] You know, I always thought that I would serve dinner to my grandchildren in here. Oh, my gosh, I'm just choking up. Okay and here, okay, this is the den. Oh... And these are the marks on the wall where we measured the kids' height when they were growing up. But you'll probably... You'll just, you know, paint over this. You unfeeling bastards! Yeah! You will get this house when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers. Oh, in fact, let me show you one more thing, the door!

Quote from Hyde

Jackie: Hey, Steven, what are you doing?
Hyde: I'm painting this model I just finished. I have a lot more free time now that I quit the circle.
Jackie: What, you quit the circle? What are you, high?
Hyde: I don't do that any more, Jackie. I don't need to. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go for a jog. Oh, and if you see Mrs. Forman, can you let her know that I'll be making the salad tonight?

Quote from Red

Kitty: Red, I have bad news. The people I showed the house to, they just weren't interested. I have no idea why.
Red: It doesn't matter. The clown who does yoga made an offer. So I said, "It's a deal, you downward-facing dumbass." Isn't it great? A month from now, we'll be in Florida.
Kitty: Yeah. Far away from all our family and friends.
Red: Jeez, Kitty, put it like that, we should leave tonight!

Quote from Hyde

Hyde: I'm telling you, Leo, yesterday in the basement I had the worst trip I've ever had.
Leo: Hey, I don't care how bad your trip was, man, you better have brought me back a snow globe or something.
Hyde: It was a total freak out, man. I had this hallucination that everyone else turned into me. It was me and a whole bunch of mes!
Leo: Was I there?
Hyde: No. That's it, Leo. You know what, I'm quitting the circle, man. And I feel really good about it. In fact, this calls for a celebration! I have no idea what to do.

Quote from Jackie

Donna: I can't leave yet. I told Fez I'd meet him here. He went to the airport to pick up his best friend from back home.
Jackie: Oh, great, another mocha skinned weirdo in tight pants who can make any word sound like boogadaboogadaboogada.
Donna: You know he is coming to cheer Fez up. The poor guy hasn't been himself since you rejected him. You know it's weird, I actually miss his chocolaty stained fingerprints on my bras.
Jackie: Yeah. Well, you know what? I don't want to see Fez. I mean, he called me ugly on the inside and the outside. I'm sorry, but he's just wrong about the outside part.

Quote from Fez

Fez: Everyone, I'd like you to meet my best friend from back home, Andrew Davis.
Andrew Davis: [British accent] How do you do? It's so wonderful to be stateside.
Donna: So you're Fez's friend from wherever he's from?
Andrew Davis: Yes, and I know exactly who you are. You're a frigid, unpleasant woman who enjoys stomping on a man's heart for sport. You disgust me, Jackie.
Donna: Uh, I'm not Jackie, I'm Donna.
Andrew Davis: Oh, you are gorgeous.
Hyde: So, you guys are from the same place?
Fez: Of course not. He's from the west side of the island.

Quote from Hyde

Andrew Davis: You know what, enough of this jibber jabber. I brought you folks a gift from back home.
[circle:]
Andrew Davis: Pretty good gift, eh? Take it easy, though, a little goes a long way.
Hyde: You know what else goes a long way, man? A lot!
Donna: You know what else goes a long way? Spiders. That little guy made it all the way from the light bulb to the pipe. Way to go, Mr. Spider!
Fez: Don't even think about it, Andrew. Spiders here have very little meat.
Andrew Davis: Regardless, it's still so exciting to be in America. It's true what they say. The streets are paved!
Hyde: I'm starting to feel weird, guys. My hair is tingly, my palms are sweating and my pulse is racing. Oh, man, I think I overdid it!
[Hyde imagines the other people in the circle have turned into him]
Andrew Davis: Stop jibber jabbering, old boy. I told you the stuff was pretty strong. Just take a deep breath and relax.
Fez: Yes, I'm sure you'll be okay after a few minutes. Until then, just continue to sweat and grind your teeth.
Donna: Or you can do what you usually do when you've had too much, switch to beer. Whoa, Hyde, are you okay?
Hyde: Of course I'm okay. It's you that's not okay. But you're me. So if you're not okay it means I'm not okay, which means... I'm going out of my freaking mind here!
Donna: You're going to be fine. Do you guys think I should change my hair?

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