Kitty: Steven. You got a big tear in that jacket.
Hyde: Yeah. It's hard hopping over a fence carrying two 12 packs. I mean, library books.
Kitty: Well, I'm gonna ignore that, 'cause you don't even have parents to buy you a new coat. He doesn't have parents, Eric.
Eric: He told me that sometimes when he's all alone, he cries.
Kitty: Oh, that settles it. I'm taking you shopping for a new coat. Here, here. Take some Tang and go.
Hyde: Man, if I had a dollar for every time I heard a chick say that. [Hyde and Eric laugh]
Kitty: What? What? Never turn down Tang. Growing boys need Tang. [Hyde and Eric laugh] What is funny here?

[circle:]
Fez: So then I said, "No party, no pooper!" Because he wouldn't have a party.
Jackie: See, I think it's stupid that Eric and Donna need to practice being married. I mean, it's simple. The woman just needs to be a cook in the kitchen a maid in the living room, and an acrobat in the bedroom. And I can hire a cook and a maid.
Hyde: I am liking you more and more.
Kelso: You know, I was thinking about The Incredible Hulk. I like that show. Especially the part where he gets all, like, mad and turns green and then his shirt rips off. But then I was thinking, like what if he was purple? And a lady? Come on. Like an angry, naked purple chick. That's better, right?
Red: [o.s.] What's going on down here? Why doesn't anybody ever go home?
[circle ends: Hyde sprays air freshener and Fez opens the door for a breeze as Red comes down the stairs]
Kelso: And then I realized, that's why they call it a clock radio.
All: Cause it's got both!

Kitty: Red, don't get upset so early. You won't enjoy your sausage and Tang.
Eric: Sausage and Tang? [chuckles] Is- Is that a little racy for breakfast?
Kitty: I don't get it.
Red: Well, I'm gonna leave before someone explains it.

Eric: I'm sorry. Okay, I shouldn't have told you I was at Fez's.
Red: [exhales] Do you ever think about what you're doing with your life?
Eric: Hey, Dad. It's my life, okay? I'm grown up now.
Red: Grown up? Well, you sure say that a lot, so it must be true. Let me try it. Hey, everybody. I'm Mr. Rogers. But wait, I'm not wearing a sweater. And I'm about to kick your ass. Maybe it doesn't work. Maybe you're just an immature piss-ant who still lies to his parents.

Kelso: And then I realized, that's why they call it a clock radio. 'Cause it's got both.

Eric: I gotta tell you, this "being grown up" thing really seems to work for us. It's like we're already good at being married.
Donna: All we did was eat.
Eric: Hey, a little secret they don't tell you? That's all marriage is.

Eric: Okay, I think the Chicken Pinciotti wants to fly the coop. I'm gonna- I'll be upstairs for a little bit. Uh, do you have any magazines that I could- Whoa! Okay. I'm- l-l-I'll just read the shampoo.
Donna: Well, wait. You can't- You can't use the bathroom upstairs. You have to use the one off the den.
Eric: Th- Right in there? Wh- While- While you're right in here? I-l-I can't do that. You might sense something.
Donna: I "might sense something"? How much of a ruckus are you gonna make?
Eric: Wh- I just- I can't go here, okay? And I can't go home because Red thinks I'm over at Fez's. What- I am a man without a country.
Donna: Eric, you wanted to be grown up. And- Well, this is something that grown-ups do in the same house.
Eric: No, I ju-You know what I was thinking? I could build us another house, a separate house.
Donna: Eric, you're talking about an outhouse.
Eric: Well, it's about time those made a comeback!

Eric: [knocks on door] Hurry up! Hurry up! Hurry up! Hurry up!
Red: [opens door] Well, speak of the idiot.
Eric: I gotta use the bathroom.
Red: What's a matter with the foreign kid's bathroom? That is where you were, isn't it?
Eric: Yeah, of course. Wh- Why would I lie to you about something like that?
Fez: I need bacon.
Eric: Okay, uh, the reason I'd lie about something like that is...
Red: What happened? You piss Donna off, and she locked you out?
Eric: Donna? No.
Red: Oh. Well, you pissed me off, so I'm locking you out.

Kitty: [to Eric] Why don't you tell me things? You can tell me things, even bad things. A mother's love is like a flower that never wilts. Unless it's lied to.
Red: If you're done reciting poetry, I'd like to yell at the kid.

Red: Morning.
Eric: Hey, Dad, I was thinking of spending tonight and tomorrow over at Fez's.
Red: At whose's?
Kitty: The foreign boy with the tight pants wears a little too much cologne.
Red: I don't like him. I caught him stealing bacon out of our fridge.