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‘Short and Curlies’ Quotes Page 1 of 3    

That '70s Show: Short and Curlies

724. Short and Curlies

Aired May 18, 2005

Donna wants to get a special gift for Eric as he prepares to leave for Africa. Jackie tries to avoid Hyde after she was unable to get to Chicago. Meanwhile, Charlie (Bret Harrison) walks in on Kitty changing.

Quote from Donna

Eric: Okay, Donna, I'm ready for my going-away present. Yahoo.
Donna: [o.s.] All right, here I come.
[Donna walks out dressed as Princess Leia]
Eric: Holy Mother of Skywalker.
Donna: You can do whatever you want to Princess Leia. Her force field is down.
Eric: Donna, this is the best... Wait a second, Leia doesn't have a force field. She... Oh, you know what? I'm too excited to quibble.

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Quote from Donna

Eric: Wow, so, it's like, I can do anything I want? Can I touch your buns?
Donna: What? You wanna touch my butt?
Eric: No, not those buns. You know, the buns.
Donna: Eric, that seems kind of weird.
Eric: Yeah. You know what? That is, like, a little weird. Maybe I'll just rub my face up against one of them?
Donna: Okay.
Eric: [rubs face against Donna's hair] Leia. Oh, Leia.
Bob: [o.s.] Donna, meet me downstairs for fried shrimp in T-minus 20 seconds. Wear an old shirt. These things are greasy.
Donna: Wow, that's almost enough to take you right out of the moment, huh?
Eric: Okay, Donna. From now on, the only thing I'd like you to say is, "Use the force, Eric."
Donna: Okay, that seems kind of...
Eric: Donna.
Donna: Use the force, Eric.

Quote from Eric

Eric: Fire! Fire!
[As Donna runs onto the driveway in her Princess Leia costume, Eric runs out in his underwear with a stormtrooper helmet on.]
Red: What the hell is on your head?
Eric: I'm still wearing the helmet, aren't I?
Bob: What did you do to my daughter?
Eric: Nothing. I was a perfect gentleman. I just squeezed her buns.
Kitty: I suggested a photograph, not a go-go dance from outer space.

Quote from Eric

Donna: Sorry my present didn't work out.
Eric: Well... I mean, we are alone now. And I think I know exactly what might get you back in the mood. A little romantic music. [dramatic instrumental music plays] Where were we? Oh, yes, you were a prisoner aboard the Death Star. And I am the only stormtrooper with the keys to your laser chastity belt.
Donna: [chuckles] That's in the movie?
Eric: Donna, it's implicit.
Donna: God, I'm gonna miss you, Eric.
Eric: I'm sorry. What was that?
Donna: [sighs] Use the force, Eric.

Quote from Bob

Bob: Everyone out of the house! I used too much oil in the Fry Baby. The whole kitchen's filled with smoke.
Kitty: Bob? Bob, are you okay?
Bob: Yeah, I'm fine, but my shrimp are ruined. So I'm gonna have to eat with you guys. I hope you're making something good, Kitty.

Quote from Eric

Charlie: Good morning, Mr. Forman.
Red: Charlie, didn't recognize you without your schoolgirl skirt. Why don't you go drink another warehouse full of beer? Then you can get out of those uncomfortable boy things. [exits]
Eric: Wow, he came in here, just attacked you and completely ignored me. You must be the one the prophet spoke of.
Charlie: Man, I really got off on the wrong foot with your dad. Ah, it'll blow over. How long could he stay mad at a kid, right? [Eric laughs] You know what? Later on, I'm gonna find him and apologize. I'm sure he'll understand.
Eric: Yeah. Hey, if you're looking for a good conversation starter, just say we were probably wrong to go into Vietnam.

Quote from Kitty

Kitty: Here's your breakfast, Charlie. Oh, Eric, I didn't realize you still lived here. I thought you left for Africa.
Eric: No, I've been sitting here for, like, 10 minutes.
Kitty: Then you better get going or you're gonna be late for Africa.
Eric: Okay, I get it, Mom. You're trying to make me feel bad about leaving.
Kitty: Oh, are you still here? I thought you were in Africa.

Quote from Donna

Eric: So, my mom's doing this whole passive-aggressive guilt thing about me going to Africa, which basically just consists of her saying the word "Africa" a lot.
Donna: Well, I believe that if you want someone to know how you feel, it's better to use the direct approach, like this. Don't go to Africa, dill hole. [punches Eric's arm]
Eric: Ow.

Quote from Eric

Eric: So, Hyde, speaking of annoying women who hit, have you heard anything from Jackie?
Hyde: Nope. That's fine by me, man. I mean, who does she think she is, giving me an ultimatum? "Marry me or I'm moving to Chicago." And then she takes off before I even give her an answer.
Eric: Well, what's the big deal, man? I mean, she pretty much let you off the hook.
Donna: Yeah. I mean, you were gonna say no anyway, unless... Oh, my God! You were gonna say yes.
Hyde: No. What? No.
Eric: Oh, my God. You were gonna marry her.
Donna: You were gonna marry her because you love her. [makes kissing sounds]
Eric: [as Hyde] "Hey, Jackie, you're everything this poor little orphan boy ever needed."
Donna: [as Jackie] "Oh, my God. I really am."
Eric: [as Hyde] "Oh, my God."
Hyde: Hey, I don't love her. You know what love is? Love is for losers who are too afraid to be alone.
Eric: Oh, no, you're thinking of kittens.

Quote from Donna

Eric: Hey, so, I gotta go. I'm gonna go wrap your going-away present.
Donna: Eric, you're the one going away. You didn't have to get me anything.
Eric: Yeah, well, I knew you were gonna get me something, and I didn't want this to be awkward again like, you know, Christmas.
Donna: Well, I did get you something. [Eric runs inside] Oh, crap, I didn't get him anything. He leaves in three days.
Hyde: Oh, well, why don't you just get him an ultimatum? It's free. You don't have to wrap it. It'll totally make him wish he was dead.
Donna: Yeah. Well, it's between that or one of those shirts that makes him look all muscley.

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