Bob: A little time apart will do you kids some good. So, Donna, I transferred you to the Catholic high school, Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow.
Donna: What?
Bob: That's right. You're starting this week so you better get out your Bible and brush up on your Ten Commandments and that thing about the dwarfs.

Eric: Look, Dad, I need my car. Don't you remember when you were in high school? I bet you had some good times driving around senior year with your friends.
Red: My senior year, I was driving a gunboat around Okinawa. And if you count the Japanese snipers as my friends... then, yes, I had some good times.
Kitty: You have to understand, Eric. It's not that your father's trying to be a bad guy. It's just that he's been irreparably damaged by war.

Red: Of all the dumbass stunts you kids ever pulled, this little California adventure takes the dumbass cake!

Kitty: We are very disappointed in you, Eric. Even though going to California to rescue Donna is one of the most romantic things I've ever heard of.
Bob: That's true. If he had gone by horse, they would have made it a movie.

Donna: Look, Mr. Forman before you get all scary and pink, I just want to say that running away to California was completely selfish and immature.
Eric: And, as for me, as long as I live under your roof and eat your food, I should be doing things your way.
Red: What a load of crap! You two are not above the law. Now, Eric, hand over the keys to the Vista Cruiser.
Eric: What? Dad, no. The Cruiser's my Batmobile. Without it, I'm just a guy in a silly outfit.

Fez: Wait a second. You two look sweaty and guilty. Have you been eating my candy?
Jackie: What candy?
Fez: I didn't say "candy." And I certainly don't have any candy hidden in the garage. [monotone] I will be in the garage.

Jackie: Oh, God. Steven, that was way too close. You need to learn to keep your hands off me.
Hyde: Me? You're the one who can't keep her tongue to herself.
Jackie: Please. I let you fool around with me out of pity.
Hyde: You know what your problem is? You're really cute so no one ever told you to shut your piehole.
Jackie: You think I'm cute?
Hyde: Shut your piehole! [they kiss]

Jackie: Wait. Donna, you're actually gonna go to Catholic school?
Donna: Not just Catholic school, Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow. That means "sad forever." Eric, we're never even gonna see each other.
Eric: Yeah, I know. And I can't even drive you to school. And we can forget about any lunchtime hokey-pokey. That's what it's all about.

Hyde: Man, it sucks not having a car. Well, I'm gonna go drive mine. Catch you guys later.
Jackie: Wait, wait, Steven. Where are you going?
Hyde: What do you care?
Jackie: I don't. [Hyde leaves] Um... you know, I just remembered that I have to go to the mall because they're having this big Monday Madness sale.
Donna: Jackie? It's Tuesday.
Jackie: See? Total madness! [exits]
Kelso: Poor kid, trying to replace me with shopping.

Donna: Eric, what are we gonna do? I mean, if I go to this school, our senior year is ruined. I mean, we're not even gonna graduate together.
Eric: You know what? Bob is not sending you to that Catholic school. Now we're gonna sit down, we're gonna figure out what we're gonna do. Guys? Let's get serious.
[circle:]
Eric: It's simple. I'm gonna march over there and talk to Bob. I love a good march. [chuckles] My birthday is in March. And then it's on to April. April showers. Oh! The Seduction of Eric Forman starring in the insatiable April Showers. [laughs]
Donna: Are you really gonna go talk to my dad for me? Eric, you're so sweet and brave. Pound for pound, you're like the bravest guy in the whole world. I love you so much!
Fez: Well, my candy is safe. But something was up with Jackie. She looked scared like a deer in the headlights with his pants down.
Kelso: Man, I feel sorry for Jackie. I mean, to have to look at this all day and not be able to touch it? I can't even do that!
[The camera pans to an empty seat and then crosses to Eric sitting with Donna]
Eric: I love you.
Donna: I love you more.
Fez: Sexy.
Kelso: Hey! You two quit it! Okay? This circle is sacred. You don't do anything in here that you wouldn't do in a church! No, wait. In a cemetery. Wait. In the teachers' lounge. Man, I've done it everywhere.