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‘You're My Best Friend’ Quotes Page 1 of 3    

That '70s Show: You're My Best Friend

803. You're My Best Friend

Aired November 9, 2005

Kelso and Fez ignore Hyde's wishes and organize a bachelor party for him with Randy. Meanwhile, Donna tries to bring peace between Jackie and Hyde's stripper wife, Samantha.

Quote from Leo

Randy: All right, Fez, you, find a place, Kelso you buy the beer, and Leo, you're in charge of the adult entertainment.
Leo: Okay, man. But I haven't stripped since I was at Chippendales.
Fez: You were not at Chippendales.
Leo: Oh, right. I stripped in Bloomingdale's. I used to be really kinda out of it.


Quote from Jackie

Jackie: Hey, Donna. Sorry I'm late. I didn't want to come over till all my other options for tonight fell through.
Donna: Good to see you, too, Jackie.

Quote from Kitty

Kelso: So, Saturday night, you and that husband of yours got any big plans?
Kitty: Well, we sure do. First he's taking me on The Love Boat and then he is taking me to Fantasy Island. "Ze plane, ze plane!" I love that guy, he is so little.

Quote from Kitty

Kelso: You know, when was the last time that Red took you out for a night on the town?
Kitty: Well, a couple of weeks ago he took me to the movies and then when it was over he came back and he picked me up.

Quote from Red

Red: Kitty. What's for supper?
Kitty: Well, that's up to the chef at Frenchies. We're going out tonight and I'm getting the most expensive thing on the menu.
Red: The six-dollar steak? Kitty, we're in a recession!

Quote from Kelso

Kelso: You know, the thing about being a cop is, we may look like normal people, I mean, I don't, obviously, but we have to go through rigorous training to be able to withstand any kind of mental, physical, or emotional pain. [eats ice cream] Ah, brain freeze! Make it stop! Make it stop!

Quote from Jackie

Jackie: Donna, how could you invite the stripper here? This is supposed to be girls' night, not girls, girls, girls night.
Donna: Samantha, you'll have to excuse Jackie. She has a speech impediment that makes everything sound bitchy.

Quote from Red

Kitty: See now, wasn't it great to get out for a change? We had a good meal, nice conversation and look, we stayed out past 9:00! It's like New Year's Eve!
Red: How about that dopey waiter that flambeed his tie? Yeah, those French bastards should stick to what they're good at. Baking bread and losing wars!

Quote from Fez

Fez: Guys, I'm starting to think this might not be part of the whole bachelor party plan. Unless she is a stripper.
Randy: You know what? She might be. Why don't you tell her to shake it?
Fez: You know, it's so nice to finally have someone on my side! Hey, baby, why don't you rip off that phony uniform and start shaking your moneymaker?
Sgt. Davis: Are you talking to me?
Fez: That's right, momma!
Sgt. Davis: First of all, I'm not your momma. And if you ever talk to me like that again, I will pull your skinny ass through these bars and find 50 new ways to use my nightstick!
Fez: I don't know if she's a stripper, but she sure knows how to turn a boy on.

Quote from Leo

Red: Leo, pay these women.
Leo: I don't have any money, man. All I have is a ticket for the 1964 World's Fair. One more year, I can't wait!

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