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‘Sheer Heart Attack’ Quotes Page 1 of 3    

That '70s Show: Sheer Heart Attack

819. Sheer Heart Attack

Aired May 4, 2006

Jackie is hopeful her time has come when Fez announces he is no longer interested in meaningless relationships. Meanwhile, Hyde talks Red into selling his surplus heart medication.

Quote from Jackie

Jackie: I don't know what's wrong with me, okay? I want a guy I can't have. I can't stop stuffing my face. I am a thin girl with fat-girl problems.

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Quote from Kitty

Kitty: Jackie, I'd offer you a third sandwich, but you cleaned me out of meat and condiments. And Cheez Whiz. Well, now we're going to have to use the artificial stuff.

Quote from Jackie

Donna: Come on, Jackie, I know what'll cheer you up. Let's go down to the mall and make fun of all the people coming out of the Big & Tall store.
Jackie: Donna, if you need something from the Big & Tall, just say so.

Quote from Kitty

Red: Well, Kitty, cardiologist says I don't have to take my heart pills anymore.
Kitty: Well, that is wonderful news. [chuckles] Oh, and you know what this means? We can bring back fried-cheese Fridays!
Red: It's not good news, Kitty. I just bought a four-month supply of heart pills I don't need now. That's 200 bucks down the crapper.
Hyde: Why don't you just sell them? You know, there's a seedy subculture that buys drugs for recreation. I saw one time on an after-school special.
Kitty: Well, you can't sell drugs. It's illegal, and it should be. Because people shouldn't have easy access to addictive substances that dull their senses. [grabs wine bottle and glass] I will be in the bath.

Quote from Jackie

Jackie: It is torture knowing Fez is with all these different women. All I hear from his bedroom is, "Oh Fez, you're so hot!" Then he comes out of his room and goes off to his date.

Quote from Red

Hyde: Pretty cool, huh? Fifty bucks for 15 minutes' work. That was on a slow day. Imagine what we could make if we set up shop on Betty Grable movie night.
Red: Steven, we're not setting up shop anywhere. All I want to do is get my money back. Just like after I bought Eric that baseball mitt. Dumbass used it as a hat!

Quote from Kitty

Kitty: So, Fez, I hear you've been with a different woman every night. I just hope you're doing the gentlemanly thing. Thank-you cards never go out of style.
Fez: Actually, Miss Kitty, I'm hanging up my leather pants. Yes. I'm ready to be with the one woman I should've been with all along.
Kitty: Fez, I've told you a thousand times, Mr. Forman and I are very happy together. [laughs] I'm just kidding. So, is this woman someone I know?
Fez: Yes. [drinks] And I know for a fact that she likes me.
Kitty: Oh. Oh! Fez, I am so happy for you. New love is exciting. I remember the first time I tried Peppermint Schnapps.

Quote from Kitty

Kitty: Steven, how could you?
Hyde: Just a product of my environment. Wait, what are you talking about?
Kitty: We know you've been selling drugs out of the house. This is the worst thing you have ever done. You have turned my living room into East St. Louis.
Red: So, please, just admit what you're doing. It'll be better for everybody.
Hyde: I'm not admitting to anything. Although if I were selling drugs, it's probably 'cause I don't have a new 19-inch TV to keep me off the streets.
Kitty: What? Steven, we do not reward this kind of behavior. Right, Red?
Red: Right. A 13-inch TV should do the trick.
Kitty: Why are you even discussing this? If ever there were a time for your foot to be ankle-deep in someone's bottom, it's now!

Quote from Kitty

Kitty: Red?
Red: Look, I know what I did was wrong. But don't you even want to know what I was going to do with the money?
Kitty: I don't care.
Red: I was going to take you on a vacation to the Wisconsin Dells.
Kitty: Oh, my God, I feel like a Kennedy! Oh, and the Dells are three counties away. We're going to have to take the Interstate. [goes upstairs]
Hyde: Well, that worked out pretty good. You're going to the Dells, I'm getting a new TV.
Red: Yeah. And you're going to love watching that new show called Blow It Out Your Ass.

Quote from Fez

Jackie: I'm really sorry this happened, but you're actually lucky that she's gone.
Fez: Jackie, what was that kiss all about?
Jackie: Okay, Fez, it's something that I've wanted to do for a really long time. And I was wondering, you know, hoping that maybe you and I could be together.
Fez: You want to be with me?
Jackie: Yeah. I mean, Fez, my life has been so crappy lately that you have been the one good thing.
Fez: Oh. So you want me because you're lonely? Great, so that makes me what, your last resort?
Jackie: No. Fez, you're wrong. It's not...
Fez: You know what, Jackie? Forget it. You've already been with Kelso and Hyde. I don't want to be your sloppy thirds.
Jackie: Okay. [exits]

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