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‘Misfire’ Quotes Page 1 of 3    

That '70s Show: Misfire

804. Misfire

Aired November 16, 2005

Kelso makes the impetuous decision to propose to Jackie just before he's offered a job in Chicago by nightclub security manager Vic (Bruce Willis). Meanwhile, Donna is upset when Eric doesn't bother to call her.

Quote from Kelso

[circle:]
Kelso: So it's the last circle before I go. Wait a minute, now I get why we call it a circle! That is freakin' awesome!
Jackie: You know Michael, I will always remember the first boy who kissed me. And proposed to me and told me that putting out makes your nails grow. I really believed you.
Donna: Kelso, I'm kinda gonna miss you constantly trying to grab my boob. Made me feel pretty. I am messed up.
Fez: Donna, I give you my word. I will always be here, trying to grab your boob. We'll do it for Kelso, who won't be here to do it anymore. Oh, God.
Hyde: Man... Kelso, this is weird. I always imagined our last moment together would be me watching you strapped to a home-made rocket flying around in circles screaming, "Turn it off! Turn it off!"
Kelso: Well. I guess this is goodbye. Man, I'm gonna miss this. Like, being down here, I've had, like, the best time of my life. And you know what? No matter where I live, I will love you guys forever. Well, I guess it's time to go. So, see ya. [exits]
Jackie: Bye, Michael.
Donna: Wow. He is really gone.
Fez: My beautiful tormentor.
Hyde: This sucks.
Kelso: [returns] I'm not leaving till tomorrow! And you were crying! Burn!

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Quote from Jackie

Donna: And get this, I waited up for Eric to call me last night, and he never did. So I asked Mrs. Forman, "Is he okay?" And she said yeah, because he called her last night.
Jackie: Yeah, I mean, that is weird. Who would think that a boy who plays with dolls and bails on his wedding would be a mama's boy?

Quote from Bob

Bob: Sweetheart.
Donna: [wakes up] What?
Bob: Did you stay down here all night?
Donna: Oh yeah. I guess so. Eric never called, I hope he is okay.
Bob: Yeah, I'm sure he's fine. Either that, or he's dead. It can only be one of the two.

Quote from Red

Red: So, thank you for celebrating our 25th anniversary with us. You know, nothing makes me appreciate my beautiful wife more than a room full of people that I don't like as much as her.

Quote from Red

Fez: Look at this, Red, what is more beautiful than a sweaty broad doing your laundry?
Red: How about a smart-mouth foreigner gasping for air as I hold his head in the toilet?

Quote from Kitty

Red: Oh, here, let me take that for you, sweetie! [passionately kisses Kitty] [exits]
Kitty: Oh! Oh, I am so light-headed! I don't think I can clean out the lint trap. Well, it could cause a fire.

Quote from Kitty

Kitty: Well, that's because it's our 25th anniversary in two days.
Kelso: Oh, 25 years? Man if you guys were dogs, that would be like... 25 dog years.
Kitty: Anyway. I'm throwing a surprise party, but don't tell Red. Ever since Pearl Harbor, he has hated surprises.

Quote from Kelso

Kelso: Man. It's like everyone is so happy lately. Except for me. I mean, the Forman's have their anniversary party, Hyde is married to a half-naked girl. What do I got? Nothing! Except for this little plastic dinosaur.
Randy: You know, when I'm down, I try to think about the happiest times of my life. Like when Hyde's wife came out here in that genie outfit.
Kelso: The happiest time of my life was when I was with Jackie.
Hyde: What are you talking about? She was always yelling at you, hitting you, telling you what a moron you re.
You might as well have been dating me.
Kelso: Oh, man, I was really in love with her. And then I blew it. And then she blew it. And then I blew it again. I don't know who blew it last, but I'm definitely winning!
Randy: It sounds like you guys had a real on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again relationship.
Kelso: Wait, that's it! That's why I'm not happy! Because the girl I should be with is right in front of me and I'm not with her! I should be with Jackie! No, I should marry Jackie!
Fez: [squeals] What? I love weddings.

Quote from Bob

Donna: Dad, it's 4:00 in the morning. What are you doing up?
Bob: Spending a little time with the Colonel. So why are you up?
Donna: Eric's calling from Africa. You know, I never realized how nerdy he was until I started spending three bucks a minute filling him in on Battlestar Galactica.
Bob: Well, I'll give you your privacy. I like eating chicken better in bed, anyway. Everything is a napkin.

Quote from Kelso

Kelso: You guys, I just got offered the best job in the world! I'm gonna be a security guard at the Playboy Club in Chicago!
Hyde: How the hell did that happen?
Kelso: Okay, last week I was in Chicago, right, and I did what I always do after I visit my daughter, I snuck into the Playboy Club. And as the guards were kicking me out, I thought to myself, I could do that! So then I talked to this guy there.
[flashback:]
Vic: So, let me tell you a little bit about what Vic does around here at the club.
Kelso: Ah, wait, who's Vic?
Vic: I'm Vic, keep up. What Vic does, is I'm responsible for overseeing security here. You see, it is our job to keep the girls safe and secure. [looks through hole in wall] Oh, yeah. Yeah, we're safe and secure today. Uh-huh, lather it up, Brenda!
Kelso: Uh, Michael wants to see Brenda!
Vic: No, employees only. We've got a code of ethics around here, Michael. Right there. So, Vic tells me you used to be a cop?
Kelso: Uh, wait, I thought that you were Vic?
Vic: There's another Vic, try to keep up.

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