Kitty: You know, I'm sorry, Midge. But I really have to get to work.
Midge: Gosh, darn it, I want a job.
Kitty: You know, Midge, having a job is not all it's cracked up to be. Working at the hospital is very hard work.
Midge: But I don't want one of those jobs. I want a fun job.
Kitty: Okay, now, even with a fun job, you still- You have to deal with your boss.
Midge: You're right. I'll get a job as a boss.
Kitty: Well, now, that is a sharp plan, Midge. You just- You let me know how that goes.

Jackie: Well, I have a date, too.
Kelso: Who is it? What's his name?
Jackie: His name is... not important. What's important is, he's better than you in every conceivable way.
Kelso: Damn, Jackie, that could be anybody!

Bob: Midge, you don't know the first thing about having a business.
Midge: But there's no risk, Bob.
Bob: Why not?
Midge: Because it's your money! [Red laughs]

Midge: Kitty, I am so mad at Bob. I'm trying to improve myself, and he won't let me. Plus, he says my ideas are stupid.
Kitty: Oh, well, now that's the pot calling the kettle black, isn't it?
Midge: I'll say. What?
Kitty: Good coffee.

Hyde: You know, you guys are making me sick with all your prom talk. Proms are stupid.
Eric: Hyde, what would you know? You've never even been to one.
Hyde: Well, I haven't been to the dentist, either, but I don't need to go to know it's lame.

Eric: My first prom tux, huh? Come on, guys, dig the crushed velvet.
Fez: Eric, you look like a pimp.
Hyde: You know, Forman prom night could be a very special night for you and Donna.
Eric: Hyde, this could be the biggest night of our lives. I mean, Donna and I could go-
Fez: To the prom.
Eric: No, Fez. All- All the way.
Fez: All the way to the prom.

Hyde: You know what you should do? You should rent a motel room.
Eric: Yeah, that's spontaneous.
Hyde: What?
Eric: Look, if this night is as big as I think, I want it to be very, very special. Because this is gonna be the first time for both of us.
Fez: Ah, you silly virgins. [laughs]

Eric: Anyway, this is how I picture it.
[fantasy: Donna and Eric are on a beach:]
Donna: Well, here we are walking on the beach. And now we're gonna do it.
Eric: Yes, yes. Isn't it spontaneous?
Donna: Exactly. That's what got me. [they kiss]
[reality:]
Eric: Ah, that was nice. But if I plan it out, it won't be nice. It'll be...
[fantasy: Eric arrives in Donna's kitchen:]
Eric: Good evening.
Donna: Did you bring the forms?
Eric: Yes, I did. Here's the guarantee of foreplay. Signed, initialed, notarized.
Donna: Very well. As you know, I'm on the pill so here is your copy of the prophylactic waiver.
Eric: It looks like we have a deal here. I'm looking forward to consummation.
Donna: Excellent.
Eric: Thank you.

Fez: Oh, I know who I can ask to the prom.
Hyde: Oh, boy, who, Fez?
Fez: The lucky lady is... my English teacher.
Kelso: Fez, you can't take a teacher to the prom.
Fez: Why not? She's always writing sexy comments on my homework. "Nice job." "Good effort." "See me." "I love you." Okay, I made the last one up but the other ones were real.

Donna: These are the shoes I'm wearing to the prom. Aren't they cool?
Jackie: Oh, my God. I was gonna get new shoes... except Michael didn't ask me.
Donna: And you like my prom dress, right?
Jackie: Oh, my God. I was gonna get a new prom dress... except Michael didn't ask me.
Donna: I'm so nervous about the prom. I think it's gonna be the night that Eric and I... You know?
Jackie: Oh, my gosh, that's when Michael and I were going to do it for the first time.
Donna: Jackie, you and Kelso did it, like, two months ago. And, like, 30 times after that.
Jackie: Yeah, but it would have been our first time at a prom. Except Michael didn't ask me.
Donna: Jackie, you broke up with him.
Jackie: I know. Isn't it sad?
Donna: Look, just ask Kelso to go with you.
Jackie: God, no. This is the prom. This is no time for your stupid feminist crap.