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An Eric Forman Christmas

‘An Eric Forman Christmas’

Season 4, Episode 12 -  Aired December 18, 2001

Eric is unhappy with his friends when he directs the church's nativity play and they keep making ridiculous suggestions. Meanwhile, Red gets into a war with Bob over Christmas decorations.

Quote from Red

Red: Bob, your decorations are in the dumpster behind the liquor store.
Bob: Thanks, Red. If I had mistletoe, I'd kiss you.
Red: Yeah, well, if I had "mistlefoot," it'd be in your ass. [laughs]
Kitty: You know what I would like for Christmas? No more talk about you putting your foot in other people's rear ends.
Red: Maybe next year, Kitty.

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Quote from Hyde

Eric: Guys, check this out. It looks just like when we were kids. And look, the wise-men gifts: gold, myrrh, and- [sniffs] Hyde, I think this one's yours.
Hyde: That'd be my baggie of frankincense.

Quote from Red

[As Red sneaks back into the house draped in Christmas decorations, he screams as he turns around and sees Kitty]
Kitty: Red, are you stealing Bob's Christmas decorations?
Red: It's only stealing if you, uh... if you keep it. I'm throwing all this crap away.
Kitty: Oh, my God. I'm married to the Grinch. I'm Mrs. Grinch.
Red: Well, as long as you're not Mrs. Tattletale, we'll be fine.

Quote from Kitty

Kitty: So, Eric, have you made your Christmas list for Santa yet?
Eric: Well, um, I was going to, but then I turned 10.
Kitty: Steven made his.
Hyde: T-shirts.
Eric: Well, I guess I could ask for a cassette player for the Vista Cruiser like I have for the last 80 years. But I won't get one, so I might as well just ask for a raincoat.
Kitty: Oh, so you want a raincoat?

Quote from Kelso

Kelso: Uh, Eric, I don't want to play Joseph as a carpenter. Oh, how about if I play him as a spaceman?
Eric: Okay, uh, Kelso, I don't think Jesus was the son of a spaceman.
Kelso: Oh, really? Well, where do you think God lives?
Leo: It's true, man. [points to the heavens]

Quote from Hyde

Eric: Man, remember when you used to come downstairs Christmas morning and you'd see your stocking over the fire all filled with toys?
Hyde: Well, one year, I saw my mom's panty hose on the radiator and, uh, Uncle "Strange Man" sleeping on the floor. He had a red nose though. That's Christmassy.

Quote from Kitty

Eric: Yeah, Christmas used to be so cool. Now it's just another day.
Kitty: Okay. Okay. It sounds like somebody needs a little holiday cheer. I know! [laughing] You could direct the Christmas pageant at the church.
Eric: Hey, yeah, that's the worst idea I've ever heard!
Kitty: Eric, you used to love that pageant when you were a little boy. And you need some Christmas spirit. And I already signed you up.
Eric: Well, it was fun when we were kids. Then again, so was eating crayons. Yeah, okay. I'll do it.
Kitty: Good. Okay, now, Steven-
Hyde: No! No!
Kitty: Oh. So you won't be in a show about how there was no room at the inn even though this innkeeper gave you a room?
Hyde: Your guilt has no power over me! I'll do it.
Eric: Fa la la la la La la la- boned [chuckles]

Quote from Kelso

Kelso: You guys, you guys! Great news. Rudolph, Santa Claus Is Coming to Town, The Little Drummer Boy... They're all on TV this week. We can watch 'em.
Hyde: Yeah. We can wear our p.j.'s and eat gumdrops and drink Kool-Aid. Hooray.
Kelso: Yeah!

Quote from Jackie

Eric: Okay, guys, let's talk about your parts.
Jackie: Okay, Eric, I want to be the Virgin Mary. See, she's pure and holy and rides a unicorn.
Eric: No, Jackie, she doesn't ride a unicorn.
Jackie: She does now. A white unicorn with speckles. Write that down.

Quote from Bob

[Red is woken up by Christmas music and lights shining into his bedroom]
Red: What the hell?
Kitty: It's the Russians!
Red: Aw, geez. [opens window] Bob!
Bob: [o.s.] Hey there, hi there, ho-ho-ho there.
Red: Bob, it's midnight. Turn that crap off.
Bob: What would I do that for? Hey, check out the keister on Mrs. Claus. I know what I want for Christmas.
Red: Bob, are you drunk?
Bob: I'm not sober.

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