Kitty: Well, that was some county fair. And they really went all out with the musical entertainment. I mean, The Beach Girls were fabulous. I've never seen The Beach Boys but I cannot imagine they are any better.

Fez: Well, I had a great time. I have an invisible dog on a leash, a goldfish in the bag and a giant stuffed panda. Of course, I got some stupid stuff, too.

Red: Donna, it must be nice to finally have a boyfriend who can swing that sledgehammer and get that little black thing past, "Seriously, hit it."
Kitty: Now, you shush. Eric always did very well at the fair. Every time he went to that one booth, he walked away with a stuffed animal.
Red: That was the gift shop.

Fez: Okay. Well, the ring must have rolled down the hill, which means that it's been probably eaten by a squirrel. We need to find this squirrel, feed it laxatives, and wait for the show to begin.

Donna: Hey, you guys, you know, I was thinking that maybe we'd find the ring faster if we split up into teams.
Randy: Say, Donna, that's a great idea! But who, may I ask, would go with whom?
Jackie: I get Donna. Well, that way, if we run into a bear, I could just climb you.

Kitty: [drinks] Oh, this is just awful.
Red: Fine. I'll add more gin.
Kitty: No. Red, the ring. And you know, this is all your fault. If you hadn't driven like a madman over a pothole, I wouldn't be drinking to calm my nerves, I would just be drinking.
Red: Hey, I am not the one who gave his engagement ring to the foreign kid. You're lucky he is not wearing it through his nose!
Kitty: [drinks] Oh, this is just the worst thing ever.
Red: Kitty, it's just a ring!
Kitty: I am talking about the drink!

Donna: Fez? Where is he?
Jackie: Oh, don't worry. He survived his trip over here in a banana crate, he'll be fine in the woods.

Donna: You know, being out here like this, without any TV or magazines, you know, makes me realize how people 500 years ago must have felt. Incredibly bored.

Jackie: Ew! What, now we have to cross a disgusting river?
Donna: Jackie, it's just a creek.
Jackie: Okay, fine. Why don't you take your shoe off, we'll all get in and row ourselves across.

Red: Well, I made Bob go and get the kids. Maybe they'll find the ring, maybe not, either way, I got rid of Bob.
Kitty: I can't believe you lied to me about that ring.
Red: Listen, Kitty. When I got back from Korea, I wanted to buy you the nicest engagement ring ever. But I wasn't making much money. And when I realized how long I would have to save to get that ring, I just knew I couldn't wait that long to ask you to marry me.
Kitty: Well, that's true. I had other offers. Jimmy Callahan used to call me "sweet knees" and he was absolutely right.
Red: So, I bought the best that I could afford and I was going to tell you that we'd get a better ring when we had the money. But then it all went wrong. You loved the ring, you said it must've cost $1,000 and you were so excited. I just couldn't let you down.
Kitty: Red.
Red: But I'll tell you what. If the kids don't find the old one, I'll get you another ring. The kind that you deserve for putting up with me all these years.
Kitty: Well, I don't want you to sell the house.