Red: I can't believe that is what you idiots have been doing in my basement all these years!
[The background behind Red and Kitty sways as Eric stares at them]
Red: I wish I had 2,000 feet so I could put 500 of them in each of your asses!

[circle:]
Eric: Crap, it's almost time for me to go get my shots. Yeah, why do I have to get shots anyway? So I get Yellow Fever. I could use a little color.
Fez: You guys, this might be our last circle together. We're growing up. I mean, these two have jobs, and Eric is off to start his life, and I'm doing more shaving than ever.
Kelso: Eric, I know you're scared of getting your shots. So I'm gonna be a pal and get them with you, 'cause I owe you for that time that I chucked that dead raccoon at you, and then it turned out to not be dead. And then it bit you, and then you kicked it back at me, and then it bit me, and then we both had to go and get rabies shots.
Hyde: [laughs] Remember, on the way to the hospital, Kelso saw that dog, and he jumped out of the car 'cause he wanted to go pet it, but he forgot the car was moving, and he broke his arm? That was the funniest, bloodiest, most rabies-filled day ever.
Eric: Look at us. Best friends offering to help each other. You know, we always have to remember this moment.
[As Red stands behind Eric in the circle, Fez, Kelso and Hyde look up in awe]
Eric: What?
Red: Upstairs, now.
Eric: I am in huge trouble. [laughs]

Bob: So did you get your shots yet?
Eric: Wait. What shots?
Bob: The vaccines to protect you against exotic diseases. I had to get them when I was in the military.
Red: You were in the National Guard. What exotic diseases were you afraid you'd catch, scaredy-cat-eating-pie-in-a-Jacuzzi fever?
Bob: Hey, I'm proud of my service. Somebody had to stay home and hose down those hippies.

Kitty: I'm shocked. The basement door closes and out come the lighters and the drugs. And I am sure Donna's down there bouncing around without a bra. It's like Amsterdam down there.

Hyde: Hey, Leo. So, I decided that tomorrow, after I say goodbye to Forman, I'm gonna go to Chicago.
Leo: Hey, loud girl's in Chicago. You should look her up.
Hyde: Good idea. Anyway, what I was thinking is, while I'm gone, you could run the record store. It'd be fun, man, like the old days at The Fotohut. [Leo stares blankly] You know, the film place you used to own?
Leo: Wait. Was it a little blue house in the middle of a parking lot with a drive-up window?
Hyde: Exactly.
Leo: I don't remember that at all, man.

Eric: Well, this is it. Just have to make it past Mom's farewell ambush, and then off to Africa.
Red: Actually, Eric, I wanted to talk to you first. I don't know if you know this, but I've been looking forward to you getting out of the house for a long time.
Eric: Yeah. I believe your exact words were, "It will be more glorious than D-day."
Red: Yeah. Well, you're my son, and I'm your father, so... Here.
Eric: That's your pocketknife from Korea. You said if I ever touched that, I'd meet the same fate as hundreds of other godless commies.
Red: Well, I want you to take it to Africa with you.
Eric: Really? Wow, Dad, that means a lot.
Red: And, Son, I want you to know that I'm gonna miss you, and I love you, and have a good trip.
Eric: Wait a second. What did you just say?
Red: I said have a good trip.
Eric: No, before that.
Red: You heard me.
Eric: Wow, this feels like one of those moments when, you know, normal people would hug. [they hug] Thank you, Dad. So, really, any last-minute advice?
Red: Uh, yeah. You lose that knife, don't come home.

Kitty: Eric? Jackie's on the phone. She wants to talk to you.
Hyde: Jackie wants to talk to Forman?
Kitty: Yes. Now pick up because she's been blabbering for 20 minutes. And I never noticed it when she was living here, but she's not that interesting.

[As Fez stares at Red and Kitty, he sees them in a fish-eye effect]
Red: Did someone shove a vacuum up your nose and suck out your last, lonely brain cell?
Kitty: What is going on in your head?
[Fez tries to grab at the heads]

[As Red and Kitty continue to scold the boys, Hyde salivates over a Twinkie left on the kitchen counter]
Kitty: I am so disappointed in you boys. And here I thought it was my dryer that made our clothes smell funny.
Red: Who taught you how to do this? Was it those damn Beatles? "All You Need Is Love". All you need is a job and a haircut.

[As Kelso laughs, Red and Kitty's heads float into the air and swap around]
Red: And you, wipe that stupid smirk off your dopey, dope-fiend face.
Kitty: Do you know what drugs do to you? They shrink your brain until one day you wake up, and you think you're Superman and you can fly, and then you wind up jumping off the roof in your underpants.
Red: Oh, this idiot doesn't need drugs for that. He does that every Saturday.
[Kelso laughs and nods]