Red: Oh, Gilligan screwed it up. He always screws it up. Why don't they just kill him?
Kitty: I don't think you're really mad at Gilligan, Red. Admit it. You feel guilty about what happened to Earl.
Red: This has nothing to do with Earl. The professor worked on that coconut radio for three months. Now how the hell are they gonna get off that island?
Kitty: Oh. Well, then I guess I was wrong. I don't know why I questioned you.
Red: And I'll tell you... something's going on with that Skipper. You don't get that fat eating coconuts.

Kelso: Yeah, life just hasn't been the same since I lost the van. You know, it's hard to get chicks when you don't have wheels. I mean, sometimes a killer bod just isn't enough.
Leo: Amen to that, brother. Okay, I'll sell the El Camino to you for 500 bucks.
Kelso: 400.
Leo: 600.
Kelso: 700. No, uh, tat's the wrong way. Um... Uh... 500.
Leo: No. 500.
Kelso: Sold.
Both: Sucker.

Kitty: So how are things with you and [low-pitched] Hot Donna?
Eric: Well, if you heard about Hot Donna then you heard that I'm not her boyfriend. The whole world heard that. Well, people in Canada heard it.
Kitty: Oh, honey, Canadians don't matter.

Red: Bob. That's my soda.
Bob: But I drank all mine.
Red: Keep it.
Eric: Hey, that's my soda.
Red: Life is unfair.

Hyde: Leo, man, this place is a mess.
Leo: Yeah? You should see my garage.
Hyde: This is your garage, man.
Leo: Well, then you see what I mean. It's a mess.

Fez: National Geographic is a beautiful magazine. There is volcanoes and a gazelle. And naked...

Hyde: Leo, man, there's a car in here. It's an El Camino. Oh, wow.
Leo: Do you think it's mine?
Kelso: The plate says "Leo's."
Leo: No, I mean the car, man. This guy, huh?

Eric: What the hell? I have a problem with this!
Fez: Maybe she dumped you and forgot to tell you. Oh, my God. Thank you, Nairobi.
Hyde: Look, Forman, I wouldn't read too much into this. Donna probably just said she doesn't have a boyfriend 'cause she's ashamed of you.
Fez: Okay, baby, I'll see you later.
Hyde: [exhales] Listen, Forman, you're just upset because you know Donna is entering the really cool world of FM radio. But, you know, feel good, man. 'Cause you'll be like that first sweet relationship she'll look back on fondly while she's on the tour bus straddling rock stars.

Jackie: Eric, don't worry about this whole Donna thing. I know a lot of girls who are much more realistic for you. They might be a little heavy, or a little dumb, or have a cockeye, but...
Eric: Jackie, she didn't break up with me, okay? She still loves me.
Jackie: Oh. So you're in the denial stage.
Eric: No.
Jackie: See?
Donna: [enters] Oh, my God, you guys. This has been the best day ever. Jerry Thunder has totally taken me under his wing. And his stories... he's so funny! Oh, Elton John has a boyfriend! Plus, I get to meet Alice Cooper. Here it is. I'm gonna see if Alice'll sign this. Oh, I can't make it to the movie tonight. See you. [exits]
Eric: See? She still loves me.
Jackie: Yeah. Have you met my friend Fat Sally?

[circle:]
Eric: I haven't seen Donna in two days. She's been spending all of her time at the radio station. This is a real problem.
Hyde: Oh, here we go again. Forman's got a problem. Well, you know what? Maybe I got a problem, man. Did you ever think of that?
Eric: Oh. Man, Hyde, I'm sorry. Go ahead, man, unload.
Hyde: Actually, I'm cool. And that's how you do it. You have a problem, and you hold it in, man. Now, leather up, fruitcake.
Fez: I have a problem. But I guess I'll keep it all inside.
Kelso: Hey, you guys so, Leo agreed to sell me the El Camino for, like, 500 bucks. So, what I need from you is... 500 bucks.
Eric: Hey, I'm Hyde. I don't feel anything. I'm just a frizzy-haired robot.
Hyde: Hey, I'm Forman! I use the same voice to imitate everybody!
Fez: It's just that I... l... Nothing.